The Place To Be
by LostInGreenEyes
Summary: AU fic. Naomi and Emily meet for the first time at university and don't get the best start.
1. Chapter 1

**Okay...how to start? I've written my first and only fic a couple of years ago and thought I'd give it another try. English is not my native language, so I apologize for all the mistakes I might have included unknowingly - and for those I was just too dumb to detect ;-)**

**Sadly enough I don't own Skins, I just borrowed the characters.  
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Chapter 1

She took one last deep breath to steady herself before she opened the door and walked briskly inside, ignoring the stares of the about thirty students who followed her every move until she settled into an unoccupied seat at the far side of the course room, her schedule and floor map still tightly clutched in her hand. Fucking hell, another "first day" at university and she hated every part of it – all eyes on her, scrutinizing the newcomer who'd been stupid enough to switch universities right after her freshman year and who was obviously unable to navigate successfully through the maze of different buildings and corridors because she had managed to be late for her very first course. _Great_. The professor - sturdy, probably in his late fifties with a brown corduroy suit that wouldn't quite fit to his blue-and-white-striped neck-tie - stopped his lecture mid-sentence and cocked an inquisitive eyebrow at her. "I'm so glad you could arrange to attend my course after all, Miss....?"

She sighed inwardly and cleared her throat. "Campbell."

"Miss Campbell, I see." He scanned the attendance list which was lying on his desk with a furrowed brow, stroking his beard absent-mindedly. "_Naomi _Campbell, I take it?" She nodded curtly while a ripple of laughter ran through the class, a reaction she'd got used to over the years. Two girls in the row in front of her stuck their heads together and snickered. "Naomi Campbell......her mother's wishful thinking, I bet. And look what she got instead!" the redhead whispered loud enough for her to overhear, which gained her another chuckle from her neighbor. _Stupid cow. _

"What did you say?" The two girls at the desk in front of her had turned in unison, staring at her accusingly. The redhead's eyes flashed angrily at her, daring her to repeat the words she'd obviously mumbled under her breath without realizing it. She held her gaze, her piercing blue eyes boring into the redhead's brown ones. "You heard me the first time." she stated calmly before she focused on the professor's explanations on the blackboard instead, dismissing the girl silently.

"Who do you think you're talking to, bitch?" the girl hissed angrily, her eyes sparkling with fury, her body tensed as if she was about to leap from her seat any second now to take a punch at the peroxide blonde with the shoulder-length hair who'd dared to insult her.

"Miss Fitch, I take it you would like to share your thoughts with us and tell us about Ronald Reagan's political influence on the east-west-conflict in the early 1980s?" The professor glared at her from across the room, awaiting her response. The red-headed girl turned towards the professor again, now visibly fuming. "Sorry", she murmured without offering any further comment.

Great, so much for a good start – this time it had taken her less than five minutes to get into a quarrel with one of her fellow students, that had to be her fucking record so far. She couldn't grasp the reason why she wouldn't fit in wherever she went, which of her characteristics made her stand out from the others and forced her to fill the role of the outsider. Okay, scratch that. Of course she knew it didn't really help that she didn't care too much about "social networking". She was neither interested in idle small talk while pretending not to be bored as hell nor in getting too attached to one person only to let herself be disappointed shortly afterwards. Been there, done that. Besides that, she wasn't into that "You're my best friend and I'm telling you all my secrets"-kind of crap, at least not since she'd left kindergarten. That didn't mean that she was a total loner, she just preferred casual friendships instead – people she could have fun with, often hardly more than acquaintances whom she could keep at a safe emotional distance at all times and who wouldn't try to invade her privacy which she'd declared her inner sanctum ever since. 'My emotional retard' her boyfriend had always teased her with a smile, nonetheless only half-joking. Right. Make that an _ex_-boyfriend now.

"Miss Campbell, would you be so kind and help Miss Fitch out on this topic?"

Naomi ignored the redhead's gleeful snicker and replied in an almost bored voice. "By the early 1980s, the USSR had built up a military arsenal and army surpassing that of the United States. Ronald Reagan began massively building up the United States military not long after taking office. This led to the largest peacetime defense buildup in United States history." She cast a thin smile at the scowling redhead who'd turned towards her again and continued. "After Reagan's military buildup, the Soviet Union did not respond by further building its military because the enormous military expenses, along with inefficient planned manufacturing and collectivized agriculture, were already a heavy burden for the Soviet economy."

The professor nodded while he struggled to hide his surprise about her accurate response. "Very well, thanks, Miss Campbell. Now let's have a closer look at the consequences of this conflict for the Soviet population." Naomi leaned back in her seat, clearly satisfied. _Take that, bitch._ Politics had always been her strong point. She stole another glance at her – a perfectly mussed up "just out of bed"-hairdo which must have taken her an eternity to create, heavily applied make-up, lilac high heels, black mesh tights, a skirt so short that it left little to the imagination and a matching cleavage. Why not just add a "Fuck me!"-sign to her forehead? Although dressed like that it wouldn't really be necessary. Didn't they have a rule against dressing up like that at university or something? Disgusting.

As the lesson had finally drawn to an end, she gathered her textbooks, her schedule and the floor map in her arms, slung her bag over her shoulder and headed towards the exit. Suddenly someone bumped into her shoulder from behind, making her stumble and sending her gatherings flying to the floor. "What the f...."

"Would you fucking get out of my way instead of blocking the whole entrance, bitch? God!" the redhead shouted, glowering at her as if Naomi had barged against _her_ instead. With that, she turned on her heel, gave her pen a final kick and stomped off before Naomi could even form an appropriate reply in her mind.

"Wait up, Katie!" the girl who had sat next to the redhead called after her and shot Naomi a last scornful look before she left.

So Katie _fucking_ Fitch it was. It's obviously no coincidence that "Fitch" rhymes perfectly well with "bitch", Naomi thought as she gathered her belongings which still lay scattered on the floor. But two can play this game, rest assured.

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Naomi turned off the ignition, got out of her car, a battered red Toyota Corolla which she'd squeezed into the last available parking space right in front of the entrance, and squinted into the sun. Lucky on this one. She pushed through the doors and headed straight up the stairs, a take-away coffee clutched in her hand, now merely lukewarm. She was glad she'd used her free period yesterday to get familiar with the premises so she wouldn't feel like a total idiot because she had to ask for the way to the toilets or something.

Once she'd reached the first floor, she turned left towards the rows of lockers, her gaze immediately drawn to the cutting of a magazine that had been pinned on hers. "Naomi Campbell – voted for 'Most Arrogant Person of the Past Decade'" it read in bold letters. _Very _original. What is this, kindergarten? She opened her locker, retrieved her textbooks and slammed it shut. She crumpled the cutting in a tight ball, suddenly aware of two girls chuckling in the far corner of the corridor.

That fucking redhead Fitch again, of course. Although she looked oddly different today – her brightly red hair which had been expertly tousled yesterday was now combed straight with a slightly slanting fringe, besides that she was wearing a gray cardigan over a flowery-shirt, a dark-blue skirt that reached down to her knees and black ballerina-shoes which were reasonably flat. What was wrong with this girl? She was either suffering from some kind of severe personality disorder or desperately trying to impress one of her professors by switching from slut-style into full cutie-pie-mode. Probably a female professor who would barely be tricked by her usual tacky appearance and "Come on and have a good look at my tits"-approach. Sorry, Missy, I will _so _rain on your parade.

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**Thanks for reading, I'd be more than happy about your feedback!**


	2. Chapter 2

**First of all, I want to say thank you for the very nice feedback you gave me - you really made my day! **

**I borrowed some lines which were used in season 3, I hope you don't mind. Oh and one more thing: As "Skins" didn't air in my country, I only watched the Naomily-parts of season 3 and 4 on youtube, so I'm not 100% familiar with the other characters of the series - just in case I won't get their characteristics quite right in the following chapters....**

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Chapter 2

She'd secretly watched the blonde out of the corner of her eyes since she'd come up the stairs and had once and again sneaked a glance at her while she'd fumbled with the door of her locker. _Beautiful_ was the first word that had popped into her mind. _What am I, thirteen or something? Bloody hell._ Panda was still droning on about her boyfriend's first meeting with her mom, all giggles as usual, oblivious to the fact that the redhead only answered in monosyllables and occasional affirmative "hmm"-sounds. "Do you know who that is?" she interrupted the other girl's monologue, nodding into the blonde's direction. "Who?" Panda asked, slightly thrown by the redhead's sudden change of topics.

"The blonde? Over there?" She was still staring at the other girl who had turned her back to them while she was rummaging around in her locker.

"No, I don't think I have seen her before. Although she reminds me a bit of my aunt. My aunt is a lot older than her, of course, and her hair isn't actually blond but dark brown, but…." The redhead blanked her out again. She held her breath as the blonde turned around and caught her staring at her. _Fuck. _She blushed deeply as the blonde's piercing blue eyes met hers before she hurriedly looked away. _Fuckedifuckedifuck._ "Sorry Panda, what did you say?" she asked, trying hard to focus on her friend again.

"I just said that my aunt…."

Panda paused as she sensed someone standing right behind her. "Erm……hi…!?" Panda said hesitantly as she turned around and gazed at the blonde girl who'd moved towards them unnoticed.

The blonde completely ignored her, her eyes fixed on the redhead who just stared back at her, willing her mind to come up with some kind of greeting but terribly failing. _Okay. Say 'Hi'. Or at least…..something. Anything that won't be too embarrassing._ But she remained silent as her tongue was obviously unable to form a single word. _What the hell is wrong with me? Fucking hell._ Did the blonde look angry or was she imagining things?

"You know what? It's only my second day here, but I'm already sick of your bullshit. And if you think that I let myself be bullied by the first fucking cunt that comes along, then you're barking up the wrong tree." the blonde said with an icy voice, lifted her styrofoam cup and poured the remaining coffee down the redhead's shirt. "Cheers." She threw the crumpled paper-ball at the other girl's feet and turned on her heels without a further comment.

"Wha……are you fucking crazy?" the redhead yelped as the lukewarm liquid seeped through her shirt and trickled down her legs, leaving a huge stain in its wake. But the blonde was already turning the corner, shrugging her shoulders as if she couldn't care less. "Shit, I don't believe this!"

Panda stared at her friend, dumbfounded. "What have you done to her?" she asked, still bewildered, as she rifled through her bag for some handkerchiefs.

"Me? Nothing! I told you, I don't even know that stupid bitch! Fuck!" the redhead replied angrily, looking down at herself and the mess the blonde had created. Her gaze fell at the crumpled piece of paper which was also soaked with coffee by now. She picked it up and straightened it out again. "Naomi Campbell – voted for the Most Arrogant Person of the Past Decade" it read, apparently torn from some kind of magazine. Weird. She wondered if the cutting had anything to do with the blonde's outburst but couldn't make any sense of it. And why in hell would she freak out on _her _of all people? She was obviously not only insanely beautiful but also mentally insane. And that was one "insane" too many for her liking. Too bad.

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The cheek of that girl! Playing all innocent and staring at her with those big brown eyes as if butter wouldn't melt in her mouth! Naomi impatiently brushed a strand of blond hair out of her face. And that weird friend of hers whose pigtails made her look like an older sister of Pippi Longstocking. She'd been bit surprised as she'd seen those two standing there together. She would have taken the redhead as the kind of person who would surround herself with a clique of 'cool' and trendy people while making fun of those who didn't fit that description. Well, fuck her anyway.

She unfolded her schedule again and scanned it for her next course. Sociology in room B-1.70. She looked up to orient herself and followed a couple of students who were filing into a course room at the end of the brightly lit corridor. She opted for a seat at the back near the window and unpacked her notepad and ball pen. Suddenly her gaze was caught by a flash of red she'd fleetingly glimpsed out of the corner of her eyes. As she looked up, she stared straight into the eyes of the redhead whose shirt and skirt were now sporting a huge brownish stain. Katie _fucking _Fitch. In the same_ fucking _course_! Great. _She braced herself for the verbal attack the redhead would launch at her any second now, but the other girl remained silent, although her brown eyes were still smoldering with anger and….something else. Regret? No, that couldn't be possible. Unless she regretted taking a punch at her five minutes ago in the corridor or something. Naomi fought hard to set up an indifferent facial expression and forced her gaze away from the girl who was now settling into a seat two desks left of hers.

She looked up again as the professor entered the room, a gangly guy with thinning reddish hair and rimless glasses whom she guessed to be in his early forties but whose growing baldness made him appear at least a decade older than that. _Poor chap._

"Hi there, for all those of you who didn't have the pleasure to listen to my lecture in the previous semester and don't know me yet - my name is Jonathan Byrnes." he said with a smile. "This course is a follow-up to last year's "Sociology I", and I'm glad that a couple of you are still bearing with me although you've had to listen to my ramblings for a whole semester already. Which is actually kind of a good sign for all the newcomers – there are at least some students I obviously haven't bored to death. As for those who quit after part one – you better don't ask them." A couple of students chuckled quietly. "For those of you who wonder if it would have been a good choice to take the first course before attending the second – you're definitely right about that, but nonetheless it shouldn't be too hard to catch up on the topics we discussed last semester and get a good start in part two." At least he seems nice enough, Naomi thought as she scribbled down the professor's office hours which he'd written on the blackboard.

"So….let's get started then." he stated with a decisive clap of his hands. "First of all, we'll try to get to know each other a little bit, given the fact that we´ll meet up twice a week for the next couple of months, we should at least know who we're talking to, right?" Some of the students groaned, as they apparently already knew what was coming next. "Right. So….I want you to stand up and say your names and a unique fact about yourselves. And we'll start with you." he said and nodded towards a nondescript boy with curly hair in the front row. Good God, he had to be kidding, right? Naomi groaned inwardly. This kind of get-to-know-ritual reminded her too much of secondary-school. Well, at least she didn't have to chuck a ball to her neighbor or something similarly stupid. 'Yet' she added mentally. Perhaps she shouldn't have opted for "Sociology" in the first place, she hadn't been too convinced about this decision anyway. She fished the schedule out of her bag again and scanned the course description. "_This course equips you with a powerful understanding of how societies operate, how social policies are determined and delivered, and how our cultural assumptions structure all aspects of human social life. It will also provide you with relevant skills for a broad range of occupations, especially those requiring an in-depth understanding of human behavior." _Well, that didn't sound too bad after all.

"Erm….I'm JJ, and with my outstanding mathematical aptitude, I'm in the top 0,3% of the population, which is an interesting demographic statistic because paradoxically, my communication, inter-personal and intuitive skills are towards the lower quartiles." _Christ. What the hell is his problem?_

"Hi, I'm Caroline, and…." She was stopped in her tracks as the door was opened with a jerk, all eyes on the red-haired girl who'd caused the commotion. _What the fuck?_ Naomi's gaze flew from the girl who'd just stepped into the classroom to the redhead to her left. And back again. _FUCK!_ Naomi's eyes wandered from the girl's wavy red hair to her heavily made-up face, black top with narrow shoulder-straps and the pale blue skirt that clung to her rear as if she'd had trouble to find the thirty degree program on her washing machine and had accidentally boiled it. _Fucking fuck! _She slowly turned her gaze towards the other redhead again and bit her lip as their eyes locked for about three seconds before the other girl looked away again. _Call me the greatest fucking idiot ever._

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	3. Chapter 3

**Thanks again for your kind reviews, I enjoyed every single one!!**

**I know this story is a bit on the slow side, but I wanted to build it up bit by bit, so I hope you aren't bored to death yet...**

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Chapter 3

Her eyes followed her twin sister as she made her way to the back row and flopped down in the last available seat right beside her. "That fucking cunt in the cafeteria is so fucking slow she can't even catch a cold!" she huffed, oblivious to the fact that her whispering was almost drowning the girl's introduction which had been interrupted as she'd barged into the class, ten minutes late. "Shhh, Katie." her sister whispered much more quietly, but still loud enough for the blonde to overhear. "What the hell happened to your shirt?" the other girl replied, ignoring her sister's remark completely.

"I spilled my coffee on it." she said without hesitation. "It's your turn, by the way."

"What? Oh….not _that_ bullshit again." she mumbled before she got up from her seat reluctantly. "My name is Katie and I've never _not_ had a boyfriend since I was seven." she exclaimed proudly and sat down again. _Good God, how much more embarrassing could she be?_ her sister wondered silently. She didn't seem to get tired of that stupid line which she'd used for these kind of introductions since she'd been twelve. _Twat. _"When will you ever grow up, Katie?" she whispered under her breath before she got up herself.

"Hi." She paused to clear her throat. "I'm Emily and I often get mixed up with my sister which is not always the most pleasant experience." she said and momentarily locked eyes with the blonde again.

"What the fuck, Emily?" her sister hissed angrily as she took her seat again.

"You'll get over it." she replied calmly, trying to hide the smile that had threatened to find its way on her face as she'd seen the blonde's contrite expression. She'd almost laughed out loud earlier as she'd seen her go white as a sheet in spite of her already pale complexion as she'd looked back and forth between her sister and herself before she'd finally blushed crimson. _Serves her right after pulling that stunt on me_. Although her shocked reaction had made it more than obvious that she'd mistaken her for Katie. _Wouldn't have been too hard to guess in the first place. _

"Not that stupid bitch again!" her sister groaned as if on cue. Emily looked up as the blonde stood up from her seat. _She's just fucking gorgeous. _

"I'm Naomi, and I sometimes I get a bit ahead of myself." she stated and cast an apologetic glance in Emily's direction. _Naomi. _Emily looked down at the crumpled piece of paper she still clutched in her hand.

"Where did you get that?" Katie asked, a knowing smirk on her face. "Fit and proper, don't you think? _Naomi Campbell_. Fucking pretentious, isn't it? Good thing mum hadn't got rid of the waste paper yet."

"What's your problem, Katie, you don't even know her!" Emily whispered and crumpled the scrap into a tight ball again.

"Who cares if I fucking know her, bitch?" Katie hissed. "What's _your _problem today anyway, got up on the wrong foot or something?"

Emily just rolled her eyes at her sister. _God, she can be annoying._ Being all of three minutes older than herself, she'd posed as the 'older sister' ever since and still didn't miss a chance to point out her alleged superiority. 'Good thing you're identical twins, because otherwise no one in his right mind would guess that you are sisters or even remotely related.' her father used to joke, and he couldn't have been more right about that. Whereas Katie was self-confident and outgoing, she'd always been on the shy side, way too self-conscious to step out of her sister's shadow, and it had taken her years to work up the courage to stand up to her whenever she tried to boss her around or ridicule her decisions.

They'd had a huge fallout about half a year ago when Katie wouldn't stop nagging her about that damned boyfriend-business. Why did she give a shit anyway? It was her business and hers alone, and it was exhausting enough without her sister trying to set her up with some dickhead-chum of her latest lover-boy. What did she get out of it anyway? _Perhaps she's afraid my non-existent love life might rub off on her somehow and ruin her fabulous 'reputation' or something. Or she just wants to show me how pathetic I am in relation to herself as she seems to be able to get every fucking tosser she´s set her eyes on. _Perhaps that was why she always had to make such a show out of it. 'I've never _not_ had a boyfriend since I was seven.' Really - what kind of a ridiculous description of herself was that? And what did she expect _her_ to say? 'Hi, I'm Emily and I've never had a boyfriend.' or something similar pathetic? Not in a million years. It was true, though, but she didn't have to let everyone in on that one, right? And she was sick of her sister breathing down her neck because of the fact that she didn't even show the faintest interest in ending that phase of eternal singledom anytime soon.

She secretly suspected that Katie still hadn't got over that incident when she'd seen her kiss a girl at a party. How long ago had that been – four years? Five? She didn't remember exactly, and she didn't even remember the girl's name. It hadn't been that big a deal anyway. Someone had given her some MDMA and she'd felt like fucking kissing someone. Okay, to tell the truth, she _hadn't_ taken MDMA that night, but she'd felt like kissing that girl anyway, but nonetheless she'd stuck to her drug-induced kissing scenario to get her sister off her back. But Katie had remained suspicious ever since, eyeing her with increasing concern as she wouldn't come up with a proper boyfriend-candidate in the following years. So what if she was gay? She wasn't even sure of that anyway, although a very small part of her mind had pushed that thought around a bit, testing it, probing it, but the final conclusion had yet to be found. She'd even caved in to a guy's tireless advances at a party once just to know what it feels like. Truth be told, it hadn't been the mind-blowing experience her sister never got tired of pointing out to her in minute detail, but it hadn't been too bad either. And sadly enough, it hadn't really helped her to make up her mind about her sexual orientation – if that was even possible. One thing she knew for sure, though – a one-night stand definitely wasn't her piece of cake and wouldn't be repeated in the future…

"Emily? Would you stop fucking day-dreaming and pass the script on or what?" Katie whispered and thrust a stack of papers into her hands. "Sorry." she mumbled, feeling caught red-handed although her thoughts had stayed securely hidden in her head.

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**As always I'd be more than happy about your feedback! ;-)**


	4. Chapter 4

**So....another chapter, it took me a while, sorry for that. I tried to heed the advice to "bring it up a notch or two" - well, make that half a notch, but still! :-) Thanks again for your very nice feedback, you really made my day again!**

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Chapter 4

_Emily. So that's her name. _Instead of ratting her out to her bitch of a sister, she'd covered up for her. Why? It's not as if she'd deserved it after going all berserk on her and probably ruining her shirt for good. Naomi sneaked another glance at the two red-heads. Their resemblance seemed to be limited to their faces, height and the striking hair-color. Their outer appearance couldn't have been more different. Whereas Katie's clothing bordered on slutty-style, Emily's outfit seemed almost plain in comparison. Her voice was low and husky as if she'd recently been cured of a sore throat while Katie tended to express herself with an unmistakable loudness. 'I've never _not_ had a boyfriend since I was seven.' She'd almost laughed out loud on this one. _Jesus. _'Take a number if you wanna fuck me!' would have been similarly appropriate.

"Alright, that's it for today. See you on Thursday, and don't forget to work through the first section of the script."

Damn it, she hadn't even noticed that the lesson had flown by while she'd been lost in thought. Most of her fellow students had already stuffed their belongings into their bags and were now making a beeline towards the exit, eager to get a head start for lunch.

"God, Emily, would you get a move on? Danny is already waiting!" Katie moaned impatiently. '_Danny? I bet that's her latest conquest.'_ Naomi thought while she packed her bag in slow-motion.

"Don't let me keep you." Emily replied, still fumbling with the papers that lay scattered on her desk. "Go ahead, I'm not hungry anyway."

"Whatever." Katie shrugged as if she couldn't care less and left without another word.

_Okay Naomi, it's now or never._ She slung her bag over her shoulder, inhaled deeply and approached the redhead carefully.

"Look….erm….." Naomi paused to take another deep breath and bit her lip nervously. The other girl looked at her expectantly but remained silent. _Well, at least she didn't take a punch at me or run away or something like that._ _Yet. So better hurry._ "You probably think I'm some kind of lunatic or the greatest bitch ever, but…."

"I don't."

"….I'm really sor-….what?"

"I don't." Emily repeated simply, keeping a straight face.

"You…don't. Well…that's great, actually, because…erm…." _Fucking hell, what is it with this girl?_

"We're twins. And I'm the nice one." Emily added with a twinkle of amusement in her eyes. "I take it you got us mixed up." she continued and motioned with her head towards the crumpled piece of paper she still held in her hand before she chucked it into the bin.

"Too bad I ruined _your_ shirt then." Naomi replied with a rueful smile, relieved about the other girl's reaction.

"Yes, that's a shame, but I guess you already made a plan how to make it up to me." the redhead countered with a mock frown on her face.

"Erm…" _If she was a guy I'd probably think she's flirting with me._ "Well…sure. I don't know….as coffee seems to be our binding element…what about a coffee at Barney's? I'm paying, of course."

"Sure." Emily replied, smiling.

"Oh, and your shirt, I'll take that too. To the dry cleaner's, I mean." She brushed a strand of blonde hair from her face and tucked it safely behind her ear. "Not right now, of course…later after you…you know…changed." she added hurriedly, a slight blush creeping up her cheeks._ Jesus Christ, Naomi, what's the matter with you? If she didn't think you're a total moron earlier, now would be a good time to start._

"Don't worry about it. I don't like it that much anyway." Emily said after looking down at herself. "Okay, that's a lie, but at least it's not my favorite." she conceded with a mischievous smile.

"No, it's nice…_was_ nice. I mean…." Naomi bit her tongue, hoping she'd stop herself from blubbering on like an idiot. _Why the hell am I complimenting her on her fucking shirt? _

"Thanks."

"Okay…erm…see you tomorrow then? I've got lectures until two o'clock…so…would half-past be okay for you?"

"I'll be there." Emily replied, grabbed her belongings and headed towards the door where she turned around again and gave her a small wave before she finally left.

_Fucking hell, what was that?_ The girl had left her flustered somehow. She seemed…nice. She had something about her the blonde couldn't quite grasp. _Strange._ Naomi shook her head once, suddenly aware that she was standing all on her own in a now very empty class room, and left hurriedly. She went down the stairs and left the building through the back entrance which opened into a park-like yard. She'd been positively surprised as she'd first seen the university's premises. Whereas her former university consisted of a couple of randomly scattered smog-grey blocks of houses and a smallish cobbled courtyard which was usually littered with discarded cigarette ends, the University of Bristol seemed like heaven in comparison. The high-ceilinged Victorian buildings were neatly arranged on a wide-stretched grassy terrain, connected by gravel paths, with wooden benches and tables positioned under huge maple trees and birches.

Naomi stepped outside and squinted into the sun, glad the usual shitty British weather seemed to take a break for a couple of days. She flopped down under a tree, her back resting against the trunk, and lit a cigarette. _Nice._ She closed her eyes and listened to the distant chatter of some of her fellow students. The quiet humming of her muted mobile phone seemed like an unwelcome intruder, especially as she already knew who was calling without checking the caller-ID. She tried to ignore the sound and blew a cloudy smoke into the air. Her phone stopped vibrating, only to start again a couple of seconds later. _Damn it._ She retrieved the phone out of her bag. "Steven calling". _Surprise, surprise._ She pressed "Reject Call" and flicked through her call log. Seven missed calls and two text messages. "Call me. S." Delete. "Please Naomi, we have to talk about this." _No fucking way. _Delete. Which part of "It's over." didn't he understand? And what else was there to say?

She took another deep drag from her cigarette and stubbed it out before it could burn her fingers. She knew he felt like shit right now and that he wanted answers – answers she just couldn't give. How do you explain to someone that you fell out of love with him? That you can't stand being with him a minute longer although he didn't do anything wrong? She couldn't even explain it to herself. It just happened, and that was that. Truth be told, she wasn't even sure if she'd been in love with him in the first place. He'd made her laugh and he'd been easy to be with, at least when he hadn't felt the need to impress his idiot buddies, he'd even made her feel secure sometimes. But _love._ Wasn't it supposed to be a bit more than that? Perhaps she just wasn't into that "butterflies doing somersaults in my stomach"-bullshit. Who believed in that anyway?

She fumbled in her bag for another cigarette. She knew she sounded like a cold-hearted bitch right now, but there was nothing she could do about this whole fucked up situation. At first she'd felt sorry for him, guilt-stricken because of the obvious pain she'd caused him apparently out of the blue, although her feelings had been spiralling downwards for a while already before she'd finally cut the cord. She could still see his shocked expression as she'd finally blurted out the words she'd repeated over and over in her mind like a mantra. After his first bout of anger about her 'betrayal' had subsided, he'd sworn that he wouldn't let go, that he would fight for her until she changed her mind. What was there to fight for when the ship had already sunk to the ground? His persistence had flattered her at first, but that feeling had only lasted shortly and transformed into annoyance pretty soon when his clinginess seemed unbearable to her. She looked up as she felt a presence beside her.

"You've got a cigarette?" It didn't really sound like a question, more like a statement. Naomi studied the lean girl with the curly brown hair which reached over her shoulders. She simply nodded and offered her the packet.

"Thanks." She inhaled deeply and sat down beside the blonde. Minutes passed without either of them saying another word, they just sat side by side, staring into space.

"So. You're the new one then." the other girl finally said, and again Naomi wasn't sure if an answer was required. "Katie already hates you, that's a record." She smiled an enigmatic smile that seemed to be her trademark. "Too bad you roughed up the wrong twin, though."

"Shame." Naomi agreed.

"I'm Effy."

"Naomi."

The other girl fixed her gaze on the blonde again. "That's what I've heard."

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**I hope you liked it and would be happy about any kind of feedback!**


	5. Chapter 5

**So...here's another chapter - it's kind of long by my standards, so don't get used to it! ;-) As always I've been more than happy about your reviews, thank you very much for that!**

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Chapter 5

She stared at her image in the mirror for probably the seventeenth time, then back at the heap of clothes she'd already thrown on the floor. _For fuck's sake, Emily, how hard can it be?_ She sighed and picked up the blue long-sleeved shirt she'd already decided against earlier. It didn't look too bad, actually. Combined with her favourite denim skirt she would neither appear too dressed up nor too "I don't give a damn about the clothes I'm wearing." Why did it feel as if she was preparing for a fucking date? She was only going to meet for a coffee - with a girl she didn't even know and who had not only named her a 'fucking cunt' at their very first encounter but had also embarrassed her in front of loads of people with that coffee-stunt. Okay, _shit happens_, she'd got her mixed up with Katie who would definitely have deserved it. _And_ she had to admit she had been kind of cute.

Emily smiled as she remembered their short conversation yesterday. She had quite obviously been more than embarrassed by her own behaviour. _Naomi._ She rolled the name around in her mouth, still smiling. The blonde had clearly been a bit thrown by her kind of straightforward 'demand for reparation'. To be honest, she'd even taken herself by surprise with her rather brisk advance, but she'd desperately wanted to meet her again, and the prospect of getting to know her had been too thrilling to resist.

"What the fuck are you doing?" Emily gave a start as her sister stormed into her room – unannounced as usual. Fucking hell, she should have moved out after applying for university, but with her parents barely getting by, she couldn't afford renting a room, let alone a flat.

"Katie, how often do I have to tell you to fucking_ knock_ before you come in here?"

"Yeah, Sissy, don't get your knickers in a twist." Katie retorted and took in the chaos she'd created. "What are you up to? You've got a date or something?"

"No, I..."

"With who?" she interrupted, brushing her sister's denial away as if she hadn't spoken.

"I don't have a date, Katie. End of story."

"Right. You just woke up this morning and thought you'd turn your whole dresser upside down today, just for fun. How daft do you think I am?"

"Think what you like, Katie."

"Fine, I'll find out anyway, bitch." Katie replied and left without another word.

_Great, that's just what I need._

.........................................................

Emily checked her neighbor's watch for the fourth time. Ten more minutes to go. Ten minutes and she'd be on her way to meet Naomi at Barney's….and then what? She nervously tapped her pen on her desk. What kind of a foolish idea had that been anyway? Practically imposing her company on a girl who was probably already wondering why the hell she'd agreed to her stupid suggestion. _We'll only be drinking coffee, for fuck's sake, so get a grip. It's not as if I've asked her to come up and see my etchings._ She didn't even like coffee, even the thought of taking a single gulp almost made her gag.

She started as she felt a hand covering hers, stopping her tapping motion. "Having ants in your pants today?" Effy stared at her so intently she started to squirm under her inquisitive gaze.

"Sorry. No, I'm just….I don't know…." she trailed off without ending her sentence, still feeling Effy's eyes on her. "I guess I didn't sleep too well."

"I see." the other girl simply said with a hint of a smile on her face. Effy had something about her that always made her feel a bit uneasy – as if she knew something about you you weren't yet aware of and waited for you to figure it out by yourself. She sighed with relief as the professor ended his lecture five minutes early and gathered her belongings into her bag.

"Emily!" _Fucking hell._ She groaned inwardly as her sister ran up to her and caught her arm as if she was afraid she might try to escape otherwise. "So….spill it…who's the lucky guy now?" She should have known her sister wouldn't give up that easily.

"Katie…just leave it, okay?" she sighed. "First of all, it's none of your business, and besides that, it's not what you think."

"Yeah, right, Emily." Katie retorted sarcastically. Emily turned to leave, but her sister held her back once more.

"For fuck's sake, Katie….."

"Whoever it is….you _do _look nice."

"Thanks..." Emily replied, perplexed, but Katie had already left.

She pushed open the large double doors and stepped outside where a harsh wind blew in her face. She looked up to the sky where dark clouds were threatening rain. _Damn._ She hurried down the front steps, her arms tightly wrapped around herself to keep herself from shivering. She walked quickly down the street, turned the corner at the far end of it. She could already see the red-blue sign, advertising different sorts of breakfast. And there she was - leaning against the wall, her blonde hair slightly tousled by the wind. _Fucking hell, she's beautiful._ The other girl looked up and their gazes met, piercing blue eyes boring into hers with an intensity that took her breath away. The blonde's lips turned up in a smile as she took a last drag from her cigarette before she threw it away and approached her.

"Hey. I almost thought you'd stand me up." she said, smiling.

"What? Oh. No. No…erm….sorry. My sister….she kept me and….anyway. Sorry." _Breathe, Emily!_ She cleared her throat, her mind searching frantically for something halfway intelligent to say, anything actually, but she couldn't come up with a single word, let alone a whole sentence. She just kept staring at the blonde, transfixed by her even features, the redness of her lips which stood in stark contrast to her pale skin, and, _fucking hell_, those incredible blue eyes.

The other girl looked at her quizzically. "So….you ready to go in? Looks like you're freezing."

"No…I'm fine." She replied hastily, hoping that her chattering teeth wouldn't give her away.

Naomi cast her eyes towards the sky as the first raindrops started to fall. "Well…perhaps we should go in anyway?"

"Sure." Emily mumbled, still motionless like a statue.

"Right…." The blonde pulled the door open. "After you then."

"Thanks." She opted for an unoccupied table at the floor-to-ceiling window facing the street. As soon as the other girl had settled into the seat in front of her, she stood up again. "I'll be right back." With that, she left the slightly irritated blonde and headed towards the ladies' room.

Emily waited until the door had closed behind her, leant on the sink and stared at herself in the mirror. _Would you _please _stop making a total tit of yourself and get a fucking grip? God!_ She took a deep breath and washed her hands, the warm water soothing on her cold skin. She'd almost blackmailed the blond girl into meeting her here, so she'd better reboot that part of her brain which controlled her talking and thinking abilities soonish. What was her problem anyway? So the blonde was kind of a stunner, but just staring at her open-mouthed wouldn't win her any points here. Neither would hiding in the toilets, so – _pull yourself together now._

………………………………………….

Naomi thanked the waiter who'd placed two cups of coffee on the table. She still wasn't able to make sense of the redhead's behavior. She seemed like a nervous wreck to her, no comparison to the girl who'd rather boldly demanded some kind of amends from her yesterday. She looked up as the redhead made her way back to the table. "Are you all right?"

"Yes, I'm fine. I'm just a bit out of it today, I don't know." Emily shrugged apologetically.

"Well, I'm glad of that, actually." Naomi answered with a smile on her face. "You almost had me believe you weren't twins, but triplets, and I had to deal with the third one now."

"Oh no!" Emily laughed. "One sister is already more than enough for me, thank you very much!"

"That's why I always thought myself lucky to be an only child." Naomi replied, glad that the situation seemed to relax a little.

"Well, I didn't really have a say in that, so….." Emily shrugged. "Sometimes it's not that bad. At least in the rare moments when Katie's not a complete bitch, that is. You know what they say – there's always a special connection between twins, and it's true, really."

"Hmm…so there's s little bit of your evil sis inside you? Now you have me worrying." Naomi smiled.

"No, I skipped the evil parts." Emily shook her head, smiling. "Katie and me…..we were always together. Everything together – eating, sleeping. Until we were nine, we even used to take a dump at the same time."

"Jesus!" Naomi laughed.

"Yeah, thankfully we grew out of that habit." The redhead smiled that cute smile of hers. _Cute? Where did that come from?_ Naomi shook her head imperceptibly as if to shake off that thought which had somehow crept in her mind.

"Okay….I'll try to get that picture of the two of you out of my head now." she smiled. "Cheers." She took a sip of her coffee. Emily hesitated before she lifted the cup to her lips and took a minute sip before she grimaced.

"Is something wrong with it?" Naomi asked, alarmed by the redhead's reaction.

"No….it's just…..I _hate_ coffee. I'm sorry." She carefully replaced the cup on the saucer.

"What? Why didn't you say?"

"You had already ordered and…I didn't want to appear rude or something."

"Rude?" Naomi laughed. "Pouring a whole cup of it over your shirt, that's what _I'd_ call rude. What do you want to have instead?"

"I'll take a hot chocolate. With cream, of course."

"_Of course_." She smiled, ordered and leant back in her seat, a bit surprised about herself because she was actually enjoying this little tête-à-tête. "So….you've got an evil twin and you don't drink coffee – anything else I should know about you?" she asked with a twinkle of amusement in her eyes.

"No…not really." the redhead answered hesitantly and averted her eyes. _Why is she blushing now?_ _Have I said anything wrong?_ "Well…I'm still living with my parents, which is a bit annoying, even more so as my sister and little freak of a brother don't miss a chance to go on my nerves there." The redhead smiled again. "But it's only ten minutes from uni, so….it could be worse. What about you?"

"I rent a one-room apartment a fifteen minutes' drive away from here. It's tiny, but at least I don't have to share it."

"God, I envy you, honestly."

"Nah, it's just a dump, really. I can show you sometime." _What? Jesus, Naomi, you're not into that "inviting people over"-bullshit, remember?_

"I'd like that." The redhead smiled that beautiful smile again which spread over her whole face and showed little dimples on her cheeks. Their eyes met again, and this time it was her who had to look away again, slightly flustered by those chocolate brown eyes that seemed to cast some kind of spell on her.

"Erm…great…that's settled then. Do you want to…." She was interrupted by the shrill ringing of her mobile phone. _Fucking hell._

"Don't you want to take that?"

"No, it's not important."

"I wouldn't mind, really."

"But I would." she replied and pressed 'Reject Call'. Four missed calls and five unread text messages again. _Will he ever give up?_ As soon as she'd stuffed the phone back into her bag, it started ringing again. "God damnit." She retrieved it again and hit the "Call"-button. "Listen," she started angrily before the caller got the chance to utter a single word. "I want you to stop calling me and I want you to stop texting me. We're over and done with and I won't change my mind. You got that now?" With that she hung up and shut the phone off. _Jesus Christ. _She didn't even know what made her more angry right now – the fact that he wouldn't stop bothering her two _fucking_ months after their separation although she'd really tried hard to make him understand, or that she'd lost her temper with him for the first time and not only embarrassed herself but also acted like a crazed bitch who didn't give a shit about other people's feelings. _Fuck._ "Look, I'm sorry, I'm usually not like this…."

"You don't need to apologize." the redhead said softly. "Are you alright?"

"Yes, I'm fine….it's just…I'm so tired of this." She sighed and shook her head. "It always ends like this, doesn't it? What about you, any nice guy waiting for you?" she asked with a sad smile.

"Ah, no, those are my sister's specialty, not mine. Although she only ends up with the greatest idiots ever, so…" Emily shrugged. "Nothing to be envious about, she's only making a total fool of herself, really." Naomi noted how subtly she'd steered this topic away from herself without elaborating on her own 'boyfriend-situation', but she didn't want to prod her any further. She had to admit that she liked talking to her although she'd looked forward to this meeting with some kind of dread. She usually wasn't good with strangers and didn't bother spending her time with idle chit-chat. But the redhead was easy to talk to, and most of all, she made her laugh and was neither prying into her privacy nor rambling on and on about something totally uninteresting.

She watched the movement of her lips as she talked about her first day at uni, her smile that always reached her fantastically brown eyes, her frequent frowns when she was trying to remember some little detail of her story. She couldn't quite believe that a girl like her would be on her own for even a short period of time. _Are the guys around here blind or something?_ _Or is she just too picky?_ She glanced at the clock on the opposite wall and felt a pang of regret that she hadn't chosen another day to meet her. Time was already running out now if she didn't want to be late for dinner with her mum.

"Look, I'm sorry, but I'm afraid I've got to leave. My mum's taking me to dinner tonight – her monthly 'I'll spend an evening with my only daughter'-day as she likes to call it." She laughed and rolled her eyes, all the while hoping it wouldn't sound like a flimsy excuse to get away from her. "But perhaps we can repeat this sometime?" she added hurriedly.

The redhead smiled and nodded. "That would be nice."

"Deal then." she retorted and left some money on the table.

She held the door open for the smaller girl and followed her outside under the awning. The rain was falling steadily now, drumming on the plastic roof above them.

"So….am I forgiven or what?" she asked, wondering if the smile that seemed to be plastered on her face since they'd met might get a permanent feature on her face.

"Hmm….that would be a bit easy, right?" the redhead stated with a mock frown.

"Would it?"

"Definitely."

"Right. Well…I guess I better come up with another idea then. I'll sleep about it."

"Deal." Emily smiled at her, her arms wound around herself in a hopeless attempt to gain some warmth. "Bye then." She looked up at her hesitantly, obviously deciding whether to hug her goodbye or not, but decided against it.

"Bye."

Emily gave her another wave and turned to leave.

"Emily!"

"Yes?"

"Here, take this." she said and took off her coat. "You're already freezing."

"No, I can't accept that, you'll be soaking wet in no time."

"I'll be fine, my car is parked just around the corner." she lied. "Take it."

"Thanks."

"Never mind. See you around then."

"Yeah, see you." With that, she pulled the coat over her head and hurried away into the rain.

Too bad her car had broken down this morning and was at the shop right now. She sighed and headed towards the bus stop at the end of the road, glad she'd still deposited some spare clothes at her mum's house.

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**I hope you liked it and as always I'm looking forward to your feedback!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Okay, so here's part 6. I know it's still kind of slow, sorry for that, but I like Naomi's thoughts a lot and got a bit lost there, I'm afraid. So...bear with me ;-)**

**And loads of thanks again for your feedback, I'm always looking forward to your reviews after publishing a new chapter!**

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Chapter 6

She groaned and rolled on her side to take a glance at the alarm clock on the bedside table_. 6:37_. _Great._ She sank back down on the pillows and brushed her tousled blonde hair from her face. She'd got home late last night from her mum's and had forgotten to draw the blinds. Thanks to that she was now wide awake, an hour early, the first rays of the rising sun shining in her face. Her gaze was caught by her soaking wet clothes she'd carelessly flung over the heater and which had left a small puddle of water on the hardwood floor by now.

"You're right, umbrellas are totally overrated." her mum had simply said instead of a greeting as she'd opened the door for her yesterday and sized her up in her soaked through clothes, shivering from the cold. "And jackets – I really don't know who needs those." she tutted and stepped aside to let her in.

"Funny, mum." She sneezed. "Damnit. Any chance for a hot shower before we leave?"

"Sure. Kieran!" her mother yelled up the stairs. "Are you finally done up there?" She sighed. "He needs longer in the bathroom than any woman I know, I wonder what the hell he's doing – shaving his back would be a nice treat for once, or…."

"Eww, mum, please!" she groaned. "Too much information?"

"God, Naomi, you're so uptight sometimes."

"Yeah, right mum."

"Okay ladies, let the party roll on." Kieran said good-naturedly as he came down the stairs. "Hey Naomi, how are you doing?"

"I'm fine. And you'll be good without her for one evening?" she asked with a smile and motioned towards her mother.

"I'll live. Barely, but it will have to do." he grinned.

"Perhaps the six-pack you're hiding behind your back will help you with that." her mother countered with a raised brow.

"Ah….who likes watching a good game of soccer without a beer or two?" he smiled. "Have fun, I'm off now." He grabbed his jacket, patted Naomi affectionately on the shoulder and blew her mother a kiss on the lips before he left. Things had been a bit awkward between them right after he'd made a pass at her at college, but since he'd started seriously dating her mum, it had been surprisingly okay to have her former teacher around.

An hour later, after she'd defrosted under a blazing hot shower and changed into dry clothes – not her favorites, but what the hell – they'd driven to _'Francesco's'_, an Italian restaurant which had opened in Bristol only recently. Her mother had been adamant to give it a try, first of all because she had a soft spot for Italian food and secondly because she'd made it a rule that they'd always choose another location for their monthly date. They'd had to park a few blocks down the street, but luckily the rain had stopped and the sun was lurking through the clouds.

"So, how's uni in Bristol then? Have you settled in yet?" her mother asked, her heels clacking loudly on the pavement.

"It's only been my third day, mum." Naomi answered. "But it's okay, I guess."

"Made any new friends yet?" She was well aware of the fact that her daughter hated nothing more than giving others an inside in her privacy, herself included, but nonetheless she wouldn't get tired of prodding her anyway.

The blonde stopped and gave her mother a slightly exasperated look. "It's been a while since I left kindergarten, you know?"

"Yes, and even back then you didn't heed my advice to play nicely with the other kids." her mother countered.

Naomi laughed. "Yes, because most of them had been boring as hell or just plain stupid _or_ trying to nick my toys." Her mother smiled at that and walked on. "So I take it Kieran is staying at your place rather regularly now?" Naomi asked, changing topics.

"Yes, you could say that. Actually, we've been talking about him finally giving up his flat and moving in with me." She cast her daughter a questioning look. "Would you be okay with that?"

"What? Why wouldn't I? It's your life and besides that there are worse types running around."

"Is that your way of telling me that you like him?"

Naomi just rolled her eyes and smiled. "You've been together for how long now – two years? Three? I'd say it's about time you're finally doing the job properly, don't you think? Besides that you've still got enough room to…." She stopped short as her eye was caught by a shock of bright red hair a few meters ahead, moving towards them. _Surely this couldn't be……._ "Emily!" she gasped, suddenly out of breath. The redhead smiled first at her, then at her mother.

"Hey, Naomi." the redhead said in her usual husky voice that made her feel hot and cold at the same time. _Fucking hell, Naomi, what exactly is your problem?_

"Hey." she replied, still stunned by the other girl's unexpected appearance. "Erm…that's my mum." At least now she wouldn't think she'd used her mother as an alibi to end their date as soon as possible. _Why would you even care if she did?_

"Hi, I'm Gina, nice to meet you."

"I'm Emily, nice to meet you too." She was still smiling that sweet smile of hers – _and_ she was still wearing her jacket.

"What are you doing here?" She'd asked the first question that had popped into her mind and hoped it hadn't sounded too accusatory.

"Me? Our house is just around the corner. I borrowed a couple of books from the uni library and was running some errands before going home." She hadn't even realized that the uni had to be only a few of minutes from here. _Moving to another town sucked._ And so did her sense of direction.

"Oh…" was all she could come up with. _Very articulate, Naomi._

"Why don't you join us for dinner?" her mother intervened. _What? She can't be serious._ She stared at her mother with a slightly shocked expression on her face and hoped it didn't show too plainly.

"Erm, thanks, that's very nice of you, but my mum promised to cook for the five of us, so…." Emily shrugged apologetically.

"Another time, then." her mother offered, smiling.

"I'd like that. But I won't keep you now, I'm already running late. Oh, and thanks again for saving me this afternoon." she added as an afterthought.

"No problem……bye." she mumbled and watched the redhead leave. She felt her mother's gaze on her and started walking again.

"What?" she asked, slightly irritated.

"Nothing. Nice girl, though."

"Yeah, right. So you decided to invite her to dinner although you don't even know her?" She couldn't say why she felt so disgruntled all of a sudden.

"Why not? _You _obviously know her and she seemed nice enough. Is she a friend of yours?"

"No….yes…I don't know. It doesn't matter anyway."

"I see." her mother simply said and pulled open the door for her. The mouthwatering scent of oregano and garlic greeted them as soon as they'd stepped inside. They settled into a corner booth and studied the menus the eager waiter had handed them immediately.

"Considering the fact that she was wearing _your_ jacket while you preferred standing on my doorstep wet and freezing like a drowned rat, I'd say she's definitely a friend." Her mother said casually and without looking up from her menu. _Point taken._

Naomi propped herself up on her elbows to throw another glance at the alarm clock. _6:52_. Too late to fall asleep again and too early to get up. _Fuck._ She stretched out on her large double bed and yawned. One of the many benefits of being single – having the whole bed for herself again. It had always annoyed the hell out of her to wake up in the middle of the night and feel herself being entangled with another body, not daring to move so he wouldn't wake up. Steven had always complained about being kicked onto his side of the bed when she wanted to sleep, but she'd been unrelenting on that point. She sighed. She still had to come up with another idea to 'redeem herself' in Emily's eyes. She smiled as she remembered their playful banter after they'd left the café. She sighed again. The redhead's permanent appearances in her thoughts were disturbing somehow, but she didn't seem to be able to find the switch to shut her out. She rubbed her eyes and pushed the blanket away. _Fuck it, might as well get up now._

………………………………………………..

_Jesus fucking Christ. _She'd forgotten to buy some cigarettes on her way to uni. Naomi crumpled the empty package into a ball, chucked it into the nearest bin and flopped down under a massive maple tree. Only a handful of students were already out in the park, talking quietly to each other and relishing a life-saving coffee before their first lecture started. She was tired, out of fags and slightly edgy. _Perfect. _She looked up as she heard footsteps approaching. The lean brunette again. At least she wasn't into talking your ear off. She hated that early in the morning. Well, she hated that. Full stop. The other girl looked at her and tossed her a packet of cigarettes without saying a word.

She caught it with one hand. "Thanks."

"You looked like you needed it." Effy replied and handed Naomi her own fag to light hers.

"True enough." She inhaled the smoke and leant back against the trunk.

"Bad night?" Effy asked without looking at her.

"Not my best, no."

Effy simply nodded, her eyes following a tall dark-blond guy with a huge sports-bag who was heading towards the gym. "Nice." But Naomi's gaze was caught by the girl who'd just stepped outside and was walking towards them now. How could she ever have mistaken her for her sister? She must have been blind or something.

"Hey." Emily said, smiling warmly at her. "Hi Effy." she added.

"Emily. You're early." Effy stated and took a last drag from her cigarette. "Bad night?" she asked with a mischievous smile in Naomi's direction.

"Yeah, well, sort of."

"Seems like you're not the only one." she added knowingly.

Naomi felt a light blush creep up her cheeks and hurriedly cleared her throat. "Yeah, well, probably the weather or something." _God, Naomi, you're sounding like your own grandma now._

"Yeah, probably." Emily agreed while Effy chuckled but remained silent. "Here's your jacket. Thanks again, it was really raining cats and dogs, without it I'd probably been soaked through in no time. You got to your car alright?"

"Yes, no problem, I just had to jog a few meters."

"Good. I've got to go now, I promised Panda to copy my script for her, so…..see you later in Sociology. Bye, Effy."

"Yeah, see you." Naomi mumbled and watched her retreating form.

"Weird." Effy said.

"What?"

"I could have sworn you've told me yesterday that your car was in the shop." She looked her straight in the eyes.

"It still is." Naomi admitted reluctantly.

"Interesting."

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**Okay, hopefully I didn't bore you to death with this one! So if you didn't fall asleep while reading it - please leave a review! ;-)**


	7. Chapter 7

**So I FINALLY finished the next chapter. Sorry it took me so long, but somehow Emily's thoughts are so much harder for me to write. That's why I decided to cheat a bit and return to Naomi's thoughts rather fast...mea culpa! As always I've been a very happy bunny when I read your kind reviews, thanks a lot for those! ;-)**

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Chapter 7

Emily hurried down the corridor and squeezed through the door professor Byrnes was already pulling shut. "Sorry." she mumbled and scanned the room for an unoccupied seat. She ignored her sister who was waving her over and headed straight towards the blonde who was sitting on her own at the same desk in the back row she'd chosen three days ago. She was leafing through her script to which she had attached little yellow and pink post-it's, lost in thought.

"Hey." Emily whispered. The other girl gave a start as if she'd been ripped harshly out of a daydream.

"Oh." Was all the blonde replied. _She looks like she's seen a ghost or something._ "May I?" Emily asked and pointed at the chair beside her where the other girl had placed her bag.

"Erm…yeah." The blonde threw her bag on the floor without looking at her.

"Thanks."

Naomi didn't reply but moved her chair almost imperceptibly away from her. She twirled a pen in her fingers, her gaze fixed straight ahead, and bit her lip. Emily sat down beside her and cast an uncertain glance at the blonde. Why was she so dismissive all of a sudden? After all they'd got along quite well yesterday, at least that's what she'd thought. _Have I done something wrong?_ There hadn't been too many possibilities, though. As she'd bumped into her and her mum accidentally, she hadn't failed to notice Naomi's shocked expression when her mother suggested she'd join them for dinner. She'd put it down to the fact that having dinner with your parents and your friends tended to be generally awkward and should therefore be given a wide berth, but now she wasn't so sure about that being the cause of her reaction. Perhaps she'd just put up with her because she'd had a bad conscience for mistaking her for Katie and acting like a total bitch. _Besides that I've kind of caught her unawares by suggesting that she had to make it up to me. Damn._

She watched the blonde out of the corner of her eye, but she was still staring straight ahead, not acknowledging her presence in any way, her lips pursed, her brow slightly furrowed as if in deep concentration. She had never been so close to her before, she could even smell the sweet fruity scent of her shampoo. She had to pry her eyes away from her silky blonde hair that fell loosely on her shoulders and reflected the sun that was shining through the window. _She's _so _out of my league._ Who'd ever been 'in her league' anyway? No one ever seemed to notice her, with her sister doing anything to be in the limelight at any given time, she remained unseen in the shadows as if she was invisible.

_Yeah, very dramatic, Emily._ _The little mousy sister in the shadows, right._ She didn't even envy her sister, not really anyway, so what was she fretting about? Katie always ended up with the greatest twats possible, no doubt about that, and love had never been in the picture, so what was there to be envious about? It wasn't even true that no one was ever interested in her, but the feeling had never been mutual, so it boiled down to the same thing. She watched the blonde's slender fingers which were still playing with a pen, her movements getting faster by the minute.

_Love._ To be perfectly honest, she didn't even know what it felt like to be in love. Sure, she'd had a crush on someone once or twice, but that hadn't been the real thing and had lasted a few weeks at most. The girl next to her - she definitely made her feel…..something. Okay, so she was gorgeous, so what? It didn't take a genius to realize that. But she had something about her that had captured her the first time she'd laid eyes on her. She couldn't even say what exactly caused her stomach to tingle whenever she was around – her piercing blue eyes which seemed to look right inside her mind, or the adorable way she bit her lip when she was nervous, or her contagious smile. Or her wicked sense of humor which sometimes flashed through her distanced and coolish behavior that she'd put like an armour around herself. _Right, Emily, you've known her - what? Three days? And you've already figured her out. Be honest – you know next to nothing about her, besides the fact that she's driving you fucking crazy whenever she's around._

……………………………………………………..

_Shit, shit, shit. Will you get a grip now or what?_ Naomi took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. _What's your fucking problem anyway?_ She stopped tapping her pen nervously on her desk after the guy in front of her cast her an annoyed look over his shoulder. She hadn't even dared look at her yet, let alone utter a single word. The _way I'm behaving,_ s_he might as well think I'm suffering from bipolar disorder or something – all cheerful and talkative yesterday and bad-tempered and tight-lipped now. Great._ Obviously she could handle her better when she knew in advance that she would meet her and could therefore prepare herself for that. Whereas those surprising encounters left her in a state of utter paralysis. _Yeah, _very_ surprising to meet her in Sociology. Jesus, Naomi._

There was something about her she found disturbing somehow, although she couldn't really put her finger on it. She did like her, though, which made things even more complicated. Otherwise she could easily have told her to fuck off, end of story. She felt the redhead's gaze on her but didn't dare meet her eyes, afraid of…._ what exactly?_ She couldn't say. Emily bent down to rummage around in her bag. Naomi took the opportunity to get a brief glimpse of her bright red hair and a small piece of her naked back as her shirt had ridden up a bit due to her movement. As she looked up, she locked eyes with Effy who was staring at her from across the room and was smiling that mystic smile of hers. She blushed and hurriedly focused on the professor again whose words had been blanked out by her puzzled mind.

"….and I want you to work in pairs with your current neighbor. You'll have time to discuss which topic you will choose now and will hand in your results in form of a short seminar paper the following week, ten pages max. Any questions?" _Jesus FUCK! This can't be happening. _The whole class groaned in unison. "Okay, so look on the bright side of it – if you achieve a minimum of seventy points out of one hundred, you will have to do only one test this semester instead of two." The grumbling died down. "I'll hand out a list with possible topics now. After you and your partner agree on one subject for your paper, you put it down on this list and add your names to it." he continued and waved a piece of paper in the air and placed it on his desk. _Okay. Breathe. Turn towards her. Say something. Sounds easy enough._

"That's the two of us then, I guess." Emily said tentatively in her direction.

"Yeah." Naomi answered with a forced smile on her lips and finally plucked up the courage to look at her.

"Are you alright with that?" the redhead asked carefully, the signs of her insecurity clearly visible in her eyes. Otherwise we could switch partners, I guess…" She let the sentence trail out, still watching her closely. _Fucking hell, I've hurt her. Of course I have._

"What…no. Of course I'm alright with that. Why wouldn't I be?" she replied hurriedly. "Look, I'm sorry for being such a prick, I'm just a bit out of it today, I don't know. It's got nothing to do with you, though." _Liar. But at least my brain seems to be able to form coherent sentences again, that's a start._

"Okay." Emily said, still looking at her quizzically. "Well….let's have a look at the list then." She flicked through the pages. "Body piercing in different cultures" she read aloud and looked up at Naomi.

"No." they said in unison.

"The effect of clothing on social interaction…I guess that's my sister's favorite." the redhead giggled. "Homosexuality in modern society…no." she said and hurriedly read on. "The relevance of cultural integration in society…how about that?"

"Sounds good to me." Naomi agreed.

"Great. Hand me your pen, will you?" Emily said and rested her hand lightly on the blonde's arm. Naomi gave a noticeable jerk at the unexpected physical contact. The pen slipped through her fingers and fell to the floor. _Jesus fucking Christ._ She felt as if Emily's hand was burning through her skin, sending waves of heat throughout her body. Before she could form another thought in her mind, the feeling was gone again, and Emily had disappeared under the table to pick the pen up. She laid it back on the table, careful not to touch her again. A slight blush had crept up the redhead's cheeks. Naomi braced herself for meeting Emily's gaze but almost jumped as their eyes locked, the redhead's brown ones burning into hers, keeping her paralysed like a deer facing the light cones of an approaching car.

"Sorry." the blonde whispered almost inaudibly after what felt like minutes but could only have been a split second, still transfixed by the other girl's unwavering gaze.

Emily hesitated, searching for something in Naomi's face. "No harm done." she finally replied in a voice that seemed even more husky than usual.

_No. Not yet. But I'm in serious trouble, no doubt about that._

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_**I hope you liked it and - as always - I would be more than happy to receive your feedback!**


	8. Chapter 8

**So...here's chapter 8. I guess the story still develops kind of slowly, but I didn't want to go like a bull at a gate with it. So...bear with me, we're getting there...at some time or another! ;-) Loads of thanks for your kind reviews again, they always make my day!**

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Chapter 8

_She's a girl. A_ fucking_ girl. Jesus._ Naomi sighed and tried to clear her head of all the disturbing thoughts which seemed to be haunting her lately. She'd been more than glad when the lecture had finally drawn to an end and she'd had an excuse to leave and get away from her. She stretched out her legs under the table and picked listlessly at her food, not really hungry. Although she had to admit that she had eaten in worse canteens than this one. Teaming up with her for that fucking Sociology paper – how stupid could she be? But which alternative did she have? Tell her to fuck off and find someone else? That was not an option, at least if she didn't want to scare her away for good. _God. _Even the thought of sitting next to her again made her cringe.

"So you nailed down the nice twin then." She turned around. Effy, of course. _What is it with her? _She sat down next to her with an apple in one hand, a soft drink in the other.

"Yeah. Pure coincidence, though." she said, trying to sound nonchalant about it.

"Sure." The other girl just looked at her, her gaze unreadable. "Lost your appetite about it?" she asked and nodded towards her plate.

"No…I'm just not very hungry." The blonde squirmed under the other girl's watchful eyes and tried desperately to come up with a subtle way to change topics. "How long have you known her?" Naomi asked and bit her lip. _So much for subtly changing topics. Great, Naomi._ _Changing topics usually translates into talking about something else, you twat._

Effy smirked. "A while."

"And?" _This is like pulling teeth, only more slowly._

"And what?" she asked with a smug smile.

_Yeah, she's enjoying this._ Naomi just shook her head, not knowing what to say without giving her thoughts away.

"She's nice, she's clever and caring." the other girl relented. "Which means she's everything her sister is not. And Katie knows it. I guess that's why Katie doesn't get tired of belittling her and of occupying center stage whenever she gets the chance. Envy doesn't suit her well." she added with a shrug. _This must have been the longest conversation I've ever had with her._

"Katie envies her?" Naomi asked a bit perplexed.

"Of course. Deep down she knows she's totally out of her sister's league. Emily doesn't think in those categories, though. I believe sometimes she would like to have just a tiny share of the attention Katie gets so easily, but she would never make a fool of herself to succeed in that like her sister does."

Naomi only nodded. "''_I've never NOT had a boyfriend since I was seven.'_ – I guess that hasn't been an exaggeration on Katie's part then?"

"Effy laughed at this. "No. And it's typical Katie to say something like that as an introduction to her new course. It only proves my point."

"So Katie switches boyfriends like used socks, while Emily…." She let the sentence trail out without ending it.

Effy's smug smile was back in place. "Emily is special in many ways, but I guess you have to figure that out by yourself." With that, she got up from her seat and left without another word.

_What the hell was that supposed to mean? Fuck her with her cryptic insinuations._

"Ah, fuck it." She threw her napkin on her nearly untouched plate, grabbed the tray and headed towards the exit where she almost collided with the Pippi-Longstocking-girl Emily had talked to in the corridor before she'd pulled that coffee stunt on her.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to…erm…I mean…" the other girl stammered and took a step backwards, her eyes wide with fear, as if she was afraid she might empty her plate over her head or something. _Jesus._

"Relax, nothing happened, okay?" Naomi cast her a slightly irritated look before she pushed past her. The other girl just stared at her, mouth agape, her pigtails dangling at her sides.

"Whizzer."

………………………………………………

"You're such a stupid bitch, Emily! Why did you sit next to that silly blonde cow although I secured a seat for you? Now I will have to do that fucking paper with that clown over there." she nodded towards JJ who was approaching them hesitantly.

"At least there's one person in your team whose IQ will be up to the task." Emily replied dryly.

"Yeah, right, very funny, Emily. Go fuck yourself."

"Isn't that the girl who called you a fucking cunt and poured the coffee over your shirt? Which leads me to believe that you had to throw it away, because the probability of washing coffee stains out with detergent tends versus zero, whereas the use of glycerin might increase the cleaning power by fifteen per cent, adding sodium bicarbonate might even….." Katie interrupted him with an impatient wave of her hand.

"What? What the fuck is he going on about? Didn't you tell me you spilled your own coffee on it?"

"I don't even drink coffee, Katie. Like _never_. I thought you'd noticed that by now."

"So that bitch did that then? And you didn't even tell me?" Katie stared at her flabbergasted.

"Actually she thought I was you and that was her way to give her thanks for that silly newspaper clipping you pinned on her locker and for whatever bullshit you said to her earlier."

"That bitch! The cheek of her to mess with me of all people! Who does that cunt think she is?" Katie said, fuming with anger now. "I'll teach her what's what here, trust me!"

Emily grabbed her sister's arm before she could storm off. "Leave it, Katie."

"Fuck off, Emily!"

"Leave it." she repeated once more. "We sorted this out. You didn't need to behave like a bitch in the first place, so stay out of it now."

"Oh, _you_ sorted this out, yeah? She's your new bosom buddy now, is that it?"

Emily felt her cheeks redden and struggled to remain calm. "This is none of your business, Katie."

"Like fuck it is! And I warn you, Emily, I'll keep an eye on you, be sure of that!" She wrestled her arm free and stomped away.

"What's that supposed to mean?" JJ asked her.

"Nothing." Emily whispered. _Shit._

……………………………………………………..

Naomi sat on the little wall outside the uni's main entrance, her feet dangling above the ground. She'd borrowed several books from the library, all of them concerning cultural differences and the challenges of integration. Perhaps they could wrap this up in one session and that would be that, no harm done. She tried to push the unsettling thoughts and nagging questions that seemed to torment her nonstop into a far corner of her mind and failed miserably. Again.

She just couldn't make sense of it. The redhead even seemed to haunt her in her dreams, and when she woke up in the morning, her face was the first picture that popped into her still sleepy mind. _I barely know her and nonetheless she's playing ring-a-ring-o'-roses in my head. Why?_ She traced the rough pattern of the brick with her fingers. _I can't possibly have a crush on a girl, right? There, I've said it. Okay, _thought_ it. Jesus. This can't be happening, it just can't. _First of all, her 'having a crush on someone'-phase was long gone. She wasn't a fucking teenager anymore whose hormones were doing somersaults in any possible situation.

Actually she wasn't even sure she'd really _had_ that phase – she'd never been all gooey about some random guy at a moment's notice, just to feel heartbroken two weeks later and start the whole fucking cycle again. And speaking of guys – Emily was most definitely _not_ a guy. _God, I'm _so_ fucked._ What was wrong with her anyway? Since when did she even think about these things? She'd never been intrigued by another girl before. She'd never felt so weird in another girl's presence before. She'd never……_hell._

Naomi groaned and looked up at the grey sky. _Let's just hope she didn't notice my strange reaction yesterday. She'd probably think I'm some kind of perv or something._ The feeling of her hand on her bare arm had come as a shock to her, even though it had lasted just a split second. _Yeah, until you almost jumped out of your seat, you idiot. Very inconspicuous. _Of course she'd noticed it, who was she kidding? The way she'd looked at her, scrutinizing, quizzically, searching her face for….what exactly? She didn't know.

She looked up as the doors opened. Speaking of the devil. She felt her heart skip a beat at the sight of her soft features, her warm brown eyes, her full lips which were smiling at her.

"Hey." she said and stepped closer.

"Hey yourself." Naomi replied with a slightly hoarse voice. "Right on time."

"I couldn't let you wait, right?" the redhead answered playfully. "You seem to be well prepared."

"Erm…for what?"

"For working on our paper, you twat!" she laughed and nodded towards the pile of books. "For what else?"

"Right." Naomi laughed sheepishly.

"So…my place or yours?" Emily asked with a mock frown and a meaningful smirk.

"Erm…." _Please tell me I'm not blushing now. Jesus Christ!_

"As Katie will probably kill you as soon as you cross our threshold, I guess your place would be a little bit less dangerous."

_Say something. Anything. _"Well….my place it is then. Wouldn't want to risk my life for a stupid seminar paper."

_Alone. With her. In my apartment. I am _so_ dead._

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_**So...thanks for reading, reviews are more than appreciated! :-)**


	9. Chapter 9

**So...here's the next part. I'm not sure if I'm overdoing Naomi's lovey-doveyness a bit. I guess I have to make her take a few steps backwards sometime because I actually like her being all scared of being tied into a relationship. But I'm getting ahead of myself...so...as always...I've been more than happy about every single comment, thanks a lot for those! :-)  
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Chapter 9

„Home, sweet home." Naomi turned the key in the lock and pushed the door open.

Emily followed her inside into a small corridor, still slightly out of breath after climbing three flights of stairs. She had to admit she was kind of nervous. She'd clearly thrown the blonde off guard with her rather bold suggestion to go to her place to work on their paper. Why hadn't she just opted to meet her at 'neutral grounds', in a café, or in the uni library, or in the park? _Because you wanted to be alone with her, so stop playing all innocent. And now you're getting cold feet, you wimp._

"So…erm...straight ahead….that's my room…well…obviously, as it's the only one." The blonde smiled a bit awkwardly.

_Apparently I'm not the only one who's nervous here. I wonder why that is. Perhaps she's not used to inviting people over to her place._ Emily watched the other girl as she nervously bit her lip and repeatedly brushed a strand of blonde hair from her face that didn't want to stay put._ It's kind of cute, though._

"That's the bathroom." Naomi said and nodded towards a door to the right. "It's tiny, but at least the shower never runs out of hot water, that's a definite plus." She opened the remaining door to the left. "Here's the kitchen. It doesn't really deserve the name, I guess, but I'm not the greatest cook anyway, so…" she shrugged her shoulders. "Do you want to have something? I mean to drink or….whatever."

_Depends on what 'whatever' includes._ Emily couldn't suppress the cheeky smile her sudden and not really k-rated thoughts had evoked on her face.

"Erm…." Naomi looked at her quizzically as if she wasn't quite sure that she'd heard her correctly.

_Fucking hell, please tell me I didn't say that out loud!_ "Water, I mean. Water would be great." she croaked out, feeling that her cheeks had taken on the color of her hair.

"Right. Water." Naomi opened a cupboard, looked inside and closed it again. "No luck here." she said with an embarrassed smile and opened the next one. And the next. "Here we go." She grabbed a glass and swore as it slipped through her fingers, fell on the floor with a loud clank and broke into pieces. "Fuck." She crouched down to put up the larger shards, but Emily grabbed her hand before she could touch a single piece of broken glass.

"Don't." She noticed that Naomi gave a slight jolt as their fingers touched, but at least she didn't pull her hand away. She could feel the blonde's silky skin on hers and had to summon all her willpower not to let her thumb trail small circles on her hand to intensify the contact. _Christ, Emily, don't lose it now. _She let go of the blonde's hand as if she'd burned herself and cleared her throat. "I just don't want you to get hurt."

The look Naomi gave her was indecipherable. Her piercing blue eyes seemed to hold her in place and tear something inside her apart, transform her insides effortlessly into hot liquid that spread pleasantly throughout her body, although they'd seemed to have been laced to a tight knot only seconds before. Emily hurriedly got up from her crouching position, hoping her knees which felt like jelly by now wouldn't give way beneath her. _Fuck. I've been here for two minutes and I'm already a goner. _She self-consciously ran a hand through her hair. "You've got a broom somewhere?"

Naomi slowly got up and just looked at her, making her squirm under her scrutinizing gaze. She met her eyes hesitantly. _Unreadable. And fucking beautiful. God help me._

"I'll get it."

"What?"

"The broom. It's in the bathroom."

"Oh. Yes." She mentally kicked herself. _Just try acting _not_ like a complete fool for a start. _She leant against the counter and took a deep breath to clear her head and took in the small room. It was surprisingly tidy, the plates not piling up in the sink, waiting to be cleaned, but neatly stacked on a tray to dry, a bowl of fresh-looking fruit on the smallish table that had been squashed into the corner along with two chairs. Her gaze was caught by a notice board on the opposite wall, sporting several postcards and photographs. Naomi was on only one of them, standing on a sandy shore with wet hair, smiling widely while the surf washed over her bare feet. Someone's arm was wrapped around her shoulder, but the left part of the picture had been ripped off. Above that hung a picture of an older blond woman – her mother, if she remembered her correctly, riding piggyback on a bearded guy who was making faces at the photographer. _Her father? Probably._

"They look happy together." she said as she felt Naomi's presence behind her.

"Yeah. Although it's a bit embarrassing sometimes." the blonde answered and she could hear a smile in her voice.

"You look more like your mum, though."

"He's not my father, if that's what you think, he's my former Politics teacher." she laughed.

"What, really? That must have been awkward, I guess."

"You could say that, yes. But I got used to it." Naomi shrugged. "He's okay. At least when he's not eating my ear off about how great my mum is."

"Your parents are divorced then?" Emily asked carefully.

"No, they didn't really know each other. I've just been their little holiday-accident."

"So you don't even know your father?" she turned around to face her.

"No. And before you ask – I don't secretly hope he'll turn up on my doorstep one day, finally wanting to meet his long-lost daughter, and I don't search for him and I never did." A trace of defensiveness had crept into her voice although she tried hard to conceal it. Emily only nodded.

"Here." Naomi said. "I've finally managed to pour you a glass of water without breaking something."

Emily took the glass from her hands, careful not to touch her again although the mere thought made her head spin.

"Thanks."

"So...ready to do some work?"

_Damn, she'd already forgotten about that fucking paper! _"Sure." She followed Naomi into the living room. Every wall was plastered with a collage of photographs, posters of different landscapes, articles cut from magazines, quotes she'd written down in a meticulous handwriting, dried flowers, concert tickets, some indefinable knick-knacks and postcards from all over the world.

"Wow."

"Yeah...well. Actually I was just too lazy to scrape off three layers of wallpaper." Naomi said and smiled.

"It looks amazing."

"Thanks."

Emily's gaze wandered from the rather large desk in the left corner of the room to the small couch right under the window and the tiny coffee-table squashed beside it. A large bookshelf was taking up the whole left wall whereas the right side of the room was divided by a shoulder-high shelf she'd decorated with handmade sculptures and figuresand all sorts of candles.

"My mother's into arts lately." Naomi answered her unspoken question as she followed her gaze across the room. Behind the partition, she could catch a glimpse of a huge double bed facing a wardrobe and a chest of drawers with stereo-equipment and a small tv placed on top of it.

"It's cozy."

Naomi laughed. "It's tiny. Which is why we have to make do with sitting on the floor with all those books we've brought. If that's alright for you, that is."

"That's fine with me." Emily replied and flopped down on the slightly worn carpet.

"Good." Naomi went out in the corridor again and returned with an armful of books. "Looks like a long night."

"Definitely."

...

Naomi watched the red-haired girl beside her unobtrusively. She lay on her stomach, propped up on her elbows, a pen clamped between her lips. Her left hand was playing absent-mindedly with a strand of hair while she seemed to be deeply engrossed in a book. She was still amazed that she'd survived this so far – the redhead sprawled out on the floor only ten centimetres away from her, torturing her with small slivers of naked skin whenever her shirt moved up her back a bit.

She'd already died several deaths earlier, when she'd been in a complete tizzy and had forgotten which cupboard she'd put her glasses in. Her fingers had shaken so badly that she hadn't even been able to hold on to the fucking thing. And the moment she'd touched her hand. _Jesus._ She could have combusted right there, on the spot. She couldn't remember ever having felt that way just because of someone's accidental touch. The impossible softness of Emily's skin on her own – even the few seconds it had lasted had been enough to cause her heartbeat to jump up several notches on the scale. _You _do _remember that you're talking about a girl here, right? A _girl._ Jesus._

But she couldn't help herself, no matter how hard she'd tried to push those feelings away, they'd almost achingly increased. She'd been more than glad that she'd had an excuse to leave her for a minute to find that freaking broom. She'd splashed her face with cold water and tried to reason with her mirror image. _You're acting like a complete weirdo, you even hear her say things she can't possibly have said. Christ. And you're freaking her out with your creepish behaviour._ She hadn't failed to notice her embarrassment earlier as she'd let go of her hand. _She almost caught you out. God, please don't let her have realized what's wrong with me._ Wrong. It didn't feel _wrong, _though. It felt...wonderful. And she wasn't usually the most sentimental type, to say the least.

She'd been positively surprised that the afternoon hadn't been nearly as awkward as she'd expected after the disastrous beginning. In the contrary, she couldn't remember when she'd smiled that much before, her head was already aching because she'd switched into permanent-grinning-mode.

"God, I'm tired." Emily stifled a yawn and turned towards her.

"Jeez, thanks, do I have to take that personally?" _Stop fucking flirting with her! God._

Emily smiled at her. "Come to think of it, you are the only highlight that's keeping me awake." she said playfully and wiggled her brows at her.

"Really." Naomi smiled and prayed she couldn't see her blush in the dim light of the lamp.

"Compared to the amounts of deadly-boring articles I've read all afternoon, you're definitely my favourite."

"Great, so you're favouring me over some old, terribly worn out and unbelievably boring books."

"Any time." Emily countered with a mischievous grin.

"Am I supposed to be flattered now?" _Would you fucking stop this. Like...NOW? God, I love her smile._

"Of course you are! I'm usually not that generous with giving compliments."

"That's good to know, then." She rolled her eyes at her and laughed. "Can I get you something else?" she asked and grabbed the two empty pizza cartons from the floor.

"No, thanks, I'm stuffed. And it's getting pretty late, I guess I'll better be off."

"Why? Are you having a date with some hot guy or something?" she asked, smiling ironically to hide the sudden tension which had overcome her. _Please let her say 'No.'_

"Yeah, sure. That's me – dating all the hot guys here." Now it was Emily's turn to roll her eyes.

"No?" Naomi's smile grew wider again.

"That's my sister's part, remember? And what would I do with some 'hot guy' anyway?"

"Well...I could think of a few things, I guess." Naomi answered with a meaningful look.

"I bet you could." Emily laughed. "So no, I haven't got a date, I just wanted to give you an easy way to get rid of me now after you already had to endure me the whole evening."

"Why would I want to get rid of you?" Naomi asked, still grinning.

"I don't know." Emily said, suddenly serious. "Do you?"

Naomi just looked at her. There it was again, that slightly uneasy feeling which caused her stomach to tingle. No, she didn't want her to leave. And at the same time, she did. Desperately. _She seems so fragile all of a sudden. God, she's killing me. _

"No." she heard herself say. "Stay." She cleared her throat. "At least if that wasn't _you _hoping for an inconspicuous excuse to leave."

"Why would I want to leave you?" Emily said, smiling again, mirroring her earlier words.

"I don't know." Naomi answered, playing along. "Do you?"

Emily held her gaze for a few seconds, her chestnut-brown eyes never leaving hers.

"No."

"Good. Don't move, I'll be right back." With that, she disappeared into the kitchen. _Fucking hell, what have you done? _How should she survive another hour of wondering how it would feel to gently brush her lips against hers. Or to run her fingers through her silky red hair. Or feel her soft skin against her fingertips, if only for a couple of seconds. After the first shock about a girl permanently occupying her mind had slowly worn off a bit, her thoughts had wandered into dangerous territory. _God, I'm so fucked._

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**Thanks for reading...feedback always makes me happy, so... ;-)**_  
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	10. Chapter 10

**Okay...number ten, here it is. I know this story develops kind of slowly, and I'm afraid I slowed it down one more notch witch this one. I hope you'll be bearing with me, though, they're getting there...in this life! ;-) Loads of thanks to all the reviewers - you make my day, honestly!**!

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Chapter 10

Naomi flung her bag on the steps and flopped down beside it. She tried to light the cigarette she'd propped between her lips, but her lighter wouldn't produce a single spark. _Fuck. _She waved Effy over who'd just ended her conversation with the dark-haired guy she'd cast an eye on in the park a couple of days ago. It was kind of funny to watch her in action. The poor guy had clung to her every word, clearly mesmerized by the full flirty-mode she'd switched into and her good looks and next to nothing skirt she expertly used to turn his head.

"You've got a light?"

The other girl nodded and searched her bag for her packet of cigarettes.

"God, what have you done to him, he's almost drooling." Naomi laughed while her eyes followed Effy's latest victim who still seemed to be slightly dazed.

Effy shrugged with a self-satisfied smirk on her face. "Men are so easy to impress. And even easier to manipulate." she added as an afterthought. "So how's it going with the nice twin?"

"Emily?" Even saying her name out loud was enough to make her heart skip a beat.

"No, the Olsen twins." Effy replied sarcastically and blew a cloud of smoke into the air.

"It's going okay." Naomi relented. "We already finished the first two parts of our topic." she answered, trying to sound slightly bored.

"I don't give a shit about your fucking paper. How's it going with _Emily_?"

Naomi swiveled around and met her gaze. "What are you talking about?" _Keep it cool, Naomi, then she'll back off again. But fucking hell, how can she know?_

"I'm neither blind nor stupid." Effy simply said.

Naomi exhaled slowly and stared into space before answering. _Fuck. I don't believe this. _ "Is it that obvious?" she whispered almost inaudibly. _So much for playing it cool._

"No. I'm just kind of gifted to spot when someone's fallen head over heels." She sat down beside her and nudged her with her knee. "Don't worry about it. I'm also gifted to keep my mouth shut."

Naomi still didn't look at her. _Jesus fucking Christ. What have I gotten myself into? _"Fuck." she groaned and shook her head.

"Come on, what's so bad about it?"

"You mean besides the unimportant fact that she's a fucking girl for a start?"

"So what?"

"_So what?_ Jesus, Effy." She shook her head once more, clearly frustrated.

"Okay. So, obviously that's usually not your cup of tea. But, hell, I guess you're not the only person on earth who's decided do discover the other side of the bridge as well."

"Effy, Christ! I haven't decided anything! I don't even want this. It's just happening to me and I can do fuck about it." She sighed. "Don't you see that this is a fucking disaster?" she looked at her almost pleadingly. "What the fuck am I supposed to do now?"

"Naomi, come on, you're not three years old. I bet you've been with a couple of guys, either in relationships or just for the fun of it, whatever, and you haven't been rendered speechless then, right? You don't really seem the type to be lost for words then."

"It's not the same and you know it."

"So I take it you haven't talked to her yet? Or….shown her without words perhaps?" she said with a smirk and wiggled her brows at her.

"Yeah, right." Naomi snorted. "This is not funny, Eff."

"It wasn't meant to be funny. Tell her and it'll be fine, you'll see."

Naomi looked at her as if she'd lost her mind. "It'll be fine? Perhaps if I'd be able to grow a dick anytime soon, yeah, that would be a possibility." she said sarcastically. "Or how would _you _react if another woman told you she had a crush on you? You would tell her to fuck the hell off, that's what you'd do."

Effy laughed at that. "That's the nice way of telling me what a heartless bitch I am?"

Naomi just rolled her eyes, clearly not in the mood for jokes at the moment.

"I really thought you'd have figured it out by now."

"Figured out what?"

"Emily. I told you – she's smart, she's caring and everybody who isn't half blind can see that she's not exactly hideous. Why do you think she hasn't had a boyfriend since ice age? And I'm not talking about the movie here."

"How the hell should I know? Because the guys around here are plain stupid?"

"If you're always so thick then I wonder how you even managed high school." Effy said and rolled her eyes.

"Christ, Effy, could you stop talking in riddles for once?"

"Naomi, how hard can it be? She's staring at you with puppy dog eyes whenever you're around. Please don't tell me you haven't noticed that. Besides that, she's so nervous when she's talking to you that I'm surprised she doesn't gulp her tongue in the process."

Naomi swiveled around and stared at the other girl as if her last sentences had been spoken in Swahili. _She couldn't possibly be saying that...no. Impossible. _Effy read the unbelieving look on her face and laughed.

"Don't look at me as if I'd revealed to you that I am the Messiah." she laughed. "Do I really have to spell it out for you? She's got a huge crush on you and you're obviously too blind to see it. And I'm not jumping to conclusions here, trust me." Naomi still didn't budge. "You just have to be brave for once. Go on and talk to her." She gave her a friendly pat on the shoulder and walked away.

Naomi felt numb, as if her mind had been swiped clean of any sensible thought. _No. It can't be true._ Naomi ran her hands over her face, then her fingers through her hair. She tried to remember parts of the conversation they'd had yesterday when she'd jokingly asked her about her boyfriend-situation.

"_Why? Are you having a date with some hot guy or something?" _

"_Yeah, sure. That's me – dating all the hot guys here." _

"_No?" _

"_That's my sister's part, remember? And what would I do with some 'hot guy' anyway?"_

_Fucking hell. _She'd been so delighted by the fact that Emily wasn't seeing anyone that the redhead's phrasing hadn't really registered in her mind. Naomi groaned and rested her chin on her knees. Shouldn't she jump with joy now? Assuming Effy was right and Emily indeed wasn't interested in men, the seemingly insurmountable obstacle had vanished into thin air now. She wasn't quite ready to accept Effy's conviction that Emily had cast an eye on her, but still, now there'd be a vague chance to broach the subject without Emily telling her to get lost before she'd even finished the sentence.

_And that's exactly the problem here._ She'd got used to the fantasy of being allowed to touch her, to kiss her, to just _be _with her for heaven's sake. Her mind had constructed all kinds of different scenarios and played those in never-ending loops inside her head, thoughts that only belonged to herself and would never be spoken out loud but which were enough to lighten her mood any time. She'd given herself over to the sweetly-torturous feeling of craving for something – or make that _someone _– she couldn't have, not in a million years, had created her own fantasy world of 'What if's', assured that they would remain just that – fantasies which would never come true but remain securely stashed inside her mind. End of story.

But _this._ This changed everything. Now that there was a chance for her daydreams to come true, even if it was only theoretical, this made the whole situation far too real for her. It was easy to warm to the idea of having a crush on a girl when you knew deep down that you'd never act on it. _Okay, scratch that, it wasn't all but easy. It was a fucking pain in the arse._ But knowing that it could possibly become real – that was another piece of cake altogether. She was straight, for fuck's sake. So what if she'd been dreaming about a girl lately, there were probably a lot of women who did that once in a while without being gay or something like that.

She'd never have taken Emily for being gay, though. After all she was beautiful, a real eye catcher actually, and funny, and easy to be with, and….. _Yeah, and this disqualifies her for being gay? Jesus, Naomi, since when have you turned into such a prejudiced prick?_ She shook her head as if to brush the thought away. Perhaps her separation from Steven had affected her more than she'd acknowledged to herself and thrown her off balance somehow. About time to straighten that out. Literally.

"Hey."

Naomi gave a start. _Fucking hell, why do people always have to sneak up to me?_ She looked up and gazed straight into the chocolate brown eyes which had haunted her in her dreams so often lately. Of course it was her. She would recognize that husky voice effortlessly out of thousands. She felt that warm tingle in her stomach again which seemed to be naturally linked to the redhead's presence. But this feeling was overwhelmed by a sudden bout of anger. How could she do this to her? How could she drive her out of her head just like that and make her doubt so many things she'd taken for granted so far?

"Hi Emily. I'm sorry, but I'm in kind of a hurry right now, so…erm….I've really got to go." She jumped up and left her on the steps, guilt settling upon her at once like a heavy dark cloud. _She hasn't done anything wrong, you bitch._

_

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_**So...don't hate me! ;-) As always I'd be happy about any kind of feedback!**_  
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	11. Chapter 11

**Okay...I guess I will duck down now to hide from the rotten tomatoes you'll throw at me after reading this chapter. But (!) don't give up on me, everything will be fine...at some time or another. ;-) Many hugs for your reviews again, without those posting new updates would be no fun at all!**

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Chapter 11

"Emily, for fuck's sake, get your ass up now, we're leaving in five minutes and you haven't even changed yet!" Katie glared at her while she tried to fix her left earring.

"Katie, I told you, I'm not coming." Emily answered for the umpteenth time and focused on the book on her desk again. She'd stared at the same page for several minutes now and hadn't read a single word yet.

"You can wear the blue top I bought at Ginsley's last week." Katie continued, ignoring her sister's answer completely.

Emily just shook her head and once again pretended to read.

"What's up with you, Emily? Everybody's going and the club is cool, Thomas will make sure we'll get in. Besides that, I've got enough weed for the two of us." she persisted and fished a small package out of her décolleté.

"Put that away, mum will throw a fit if she sees it."

"Jesus, Emily, we're not twelve anymore, remember?" Katie answered but let it vanish inside her dress nonetheless. "Come on, Emily. It'll be fun."

"I'm just not in the mood, okay?"

"The party will put your mind off things. Or the booze will, anyway."

Emily sighed and closed the book. She had to admit that the prospect of moping around in her room all night wasn't too thrilling either. "Alright." she relented. "But I'll take you up on that jive. I'll be down in a minute."

She still couldn't wrap her head around Naomi's weird behavior this afternoon. She'd seemed angry somehow. That's at least the impression she'd got in the ten seconds it had taken her to get up from her seated position and fuck off. What had she done to her? She'd already wrecked her brain for any possible reason the blonde could have for showing her the cold shoulder, but no matter how often she replayed yesterday's events, she couldn't come up with a single reason.

After the rather awkward beginning of their 'working session', the afternoon had turned out to be fun. They'd talked a lot, laughed a lot and even engaged in a playful banter which had bordered on being flirtatious more than once. At least that's what she'd thought. Perhaps she'd overdone it and pushed her too far? If that was the case, then she hadn't let it show, though. Naomi had even asked her to stay as she'd suggested calling it a day. _I don't get her. I really don't._

She'd left late in the night, and they'd agreed they'd meet again this weekend to finish their paper. Again, she hadn't dared hug the blonde goodbye. She'd been afraid she'd do something tremendously stupid if she touched her again, even if it lasted only a split second. Like holding on to her far longer than adequate. Or running her hand up her back and tangling her fingers in her hair. Even looking at Naomi's lips as she'd said goodbye to her on her doorstep had been agonizing. Even thinking about it now was enough to make her heartbeat accelerate. That was the last time she'd talked to her until their strange encounter at uni today._ That's what you get when you're going for a straight girl, I guess. _Not that she had any experience in that area, but still.

….

They could hear the thumping music although they were still a few blocks away from the club. Perhaps this hadn't been such a great idea after all. _But now it's too late, so better make the best of it._ They turned the corner and could already see a long line of people queuing up to get inside. Katie headed straight towards the bouncer who waved them through after she'd said something in his ear. Thomas wasn't only a great guy, but also useful to have around. Emily squeezed past a couple which was heavily making out just behind the entrance. She was engulfed by the pumping beats and the flickering light effects and loads of people who were moving rhythmically to the pulsing music, their bodies writhing against each other in fluid motions. The air was stale with smoke and sweat and artificial fog.

Emily headed towards the bar to get a drink. She'd already spotted a couple of people she knew and was glad she'd got rid of her sister whose watchful eyes were driving her insane. Katie had noticed her subdued mood as soon as she'd got home and nagged her about it ever since. She couldn't say if her sister was honestly concerned for her or just plain curious. Probably the latter. She ordered a cocktail and wriggled her way back into the maze of throbbing people.

And then she saw her. She wore a tight black dress which accentuated her curves perfectly and was so unbelievably short that she hurriedly looked away again. Her blonde hair reflected the blue and red rays of light which alternated rhythmically with a split second of utter darkness and created the optical illusion that everyone seemed to be moving robot-like and in slow-motion. She was dancing with an athletic guy with dark tousled hair Emily hadn't seen before, both of them writhing in unison to the pulsing beats. The guy's hands rested on her hips, and Emily felt a painful stab in her stomach as the blonde wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him closer, their bodies now pressed flash against each other, before she closed the only remaining gap and pressed her lips to his, kissing him ravenously while her hands tangled in his hair and ran down his back.

Emily knew deep down that the feeling of raving jealousy which had found its way into her heart and made it hard for her to breathe was utterly ridiculous, but she couldn't help it. She stood motionless, almost paralyzed, her mind numb, and couldn't pry her eyes away from the gorgeous blonde. She was obviously wasted although it was hardly eleven o'clock. _Time to get real again, Emily._

What had she expected anyway? The fact that she'd made up some special connection between them in her mind and had given herself up to the glimmer of hope that Naomi had felt it too was enough to make her want to hit herself. _I'm so fucking stupid. God._ As if Naomi had ever wasted a thought on _her, _of all people. She was straight – _yeah, that's kind of obvious now, thank you very much _– and even if she _wasn't, _the chances stood higher that hell would freeze over than Naomi seeing anything more in her than a fellow student she could do a paper with. _You and your fucking naiveté. You asked for it didn't you?_ She felt her eyes well up – _fucking hell _– and was just about to wake from her rigor and sneak away, as Naomi broke away from the guy and turned towards her. _She knew that I've been watching her. She wanted me to see. Of course. That fucking bitch._ She felt a seething bout of anger rise in her guts.

"Emily! Hey!" she giggled loudly. "Great location, isn't it?"

Emily formed her hands into fists and hid them behind her back. Her nails were digging painfully into her skin to prevent her from losing it altogether.

"Yeah. Great. Having fun?" she asked in an icy voice and nodded towards the dark haired guy who'd put his arm around her shoulders possessively.

Either Naomi didn't notice her sarcasm or she chose to ignore it. "Yeah! This is…..what's your name again?" she asked and turned towards him. _What is it with her – booze, MDMA, something else? _She'd never seen her that hyper.

"Brian."

"This is Brian. Brian, Emily." she offered as an introduction.

"Nice to meet you." he mumbled, his voice almost completely drowned by the music. It was pretty obvious he couldn't care less and would prefer she'd fuck off so Naomi would focus on him again.

"He's kind of cute, don't you think?" the blonde laughed and wiggled a brow at him. _I think I'm going to be sick. Why does this feel as if she's doing this to spite me?_ Naomi hooked her fingers into his belt loops and pulled him closer. "What about you, Ems? Noone interesting enough for you here?" _Okay, that's it, bitch._

"You know what, Naomi? Go and fuck yourself. Or better still – let him do it. Right here, how about that?" With that, she turned on her heels and vanished into the crowd. She'd caught a glimpse of Naomi's flabbergasted look. She'd seemed momentarily sober, shocked by her sudden outburst. But there'd been something else in her eyes she couldn't quite interpret – she'd almost thought it was regret, but right, who was she kidding? _Fuck her._

….

Naomi dressed quietly and tiptoed towards the door with her shoes in her hand, glad her commotion hadn't woken him up. Luckily enough he'd fallen asleep right after he'd been done and rolled off her. She tried to blank out the memory of him hovering above her, his breathing erratic until he'd uttered one final moan and collapsed on top of her. She pulled the front door shut and tried to orient herself. Where the hell was she? She sighed with relief as she spotted two cabs parked alongside a train station about two hundred meters down the street. At least she wouldn't have to walk, she didn't think she would have been up to it. Her head was still spinning from the shit she'd washed down with her vodka and her feet were hurting like hell.

She sank down in the backseat and told the driver her address. _You're such a fucking bitch, Naomi. How could you do that to her? _She'd never forget that look in her eyes – hurt, betrayal, anger, and most of all, profound disappointment. And she had every right to be disappointed. What had she wanted to prove anyway? That she could have any guy she wanted with just a snap of her fingers? Or that fucking some random prick was the ultimate evidence for her being straight? _Jesus. Look where that got you._ She shivered as she remembered his hands touching her while all she'd been able to think about was her. _Emily, Emily, Emily._ Like a mantra that would help her endure this ordeal she'd imposed on herself more than willingly. She'd pictured her face as she'd felt him inside her, her chocolate brown eyes as she'd been praying that he'd hurry up and get it done with. _Emily._ She'd never forgive her, not in a million years. And who was she to blame?

_I ruined it. Even before we got a chance to start properly._ Her reaction had startled her nonetheless. _So _angry. _As if she'd known what I was trying to do. As if she'd known that I was well aware of her attraction for me and punishing her for it. _And she was right about that. That's exactly what she had done – punished her for making her feel that way, for turning her world upside down. And finally for feeling the same way for her in return and therefore making it more real, even more threatening. _I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry._

"Are you alright, Miss?" The cab driver watched her through the rearview mirror.

"What? Yes….yes, I'm fine." She realized with a start that tears were running down her cheeks and her voice was trembling.

"Well….we're there."

"Oh. Thanks." she paid and got out of the car hurriedly. She was craving badly for a hot shower to wash everything away - all the traces of him on her skin, the whole fucking night and the mess she'd created. _If it could only be that simple._

_

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_**So...way to go from there, but...don't worry! ;-) And as always I'm looking forward to any kind of feedback!**_  
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	12. Chapter 12

**Okay, here you go, chapter 12 - time for them to make up, I think! ;-) It's kind of long again, but I didn't want to cut it in the middle. I'm ridiculously happy about every single review I get, so thanks a lot to those of you who bother to leave a comment!**

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Chapter 12

She'd left the course room even before the professor had put the piece of chalk aside which he'd used to write their assignments on the blackboard. She'd successfully evaded Effy the whole morning and had already sent a grateful prayer to heaven that she wasn't sharing any courses with Emily on Mondays. She just wasn't up to talking to her, at least not yet, and facing her reproachful eyes. _Yeah, right, as if she'd give you the time of the day anytime soon. Or ever. _She exited the building through the back entrance. _Fuck. _She should have known that she wouldn't escape her that easily.

"Had a great fuck Friday night?" Effy didn't even try to hide the contempt in her eyes.

Naomi sighed. "So…you heard?" she ventured cautiously.

"No, I _saw._ Thankfully you spared me the hardcore-parts, though, and headed off to shag him somewhere more privately."

"I'm sorry." she said, not daring to meet the other girl's eyes.

Effy just snorted. Naomi hadn't seen her so angry before. Gone was her 'I don't give a shit about anything'-attitude, replaced by an unforgiving glare which was making her squirm.

"I'm not the one you should be apologizing to. You know why I told you about Emily? Point one: Because I like her and I thought you'd be a good match. Point two: Because I thought it would make it easier for you to talk to her if you knew how she was feeling about you. I thought I was doing you both a favor. But you preferred to blow it spectacularly instead, right? Feeling better now? Had the orgasm of your life, I take it?"

"Fuck, Effy, it was Goddamn awful!" Naomi exclaimed, now angry too. "Everything…starting from me coming on heavily on that guy. And making out with him right in front of her. _Jesus_. And the worst thing is that I did it on purpose. I _wanted_ to hurt her. I was so fucking furious because she was blowing my mind apart." she paused and shook her head as if she still couldn't believe what had happened. "And I wanted to prove a point to myself." She laughed bitterly. "But shagging the next prick that comes along doesn't necessarily prove anything." she added in a quiet voice. "Besides the fact that I'm a fucking idiot."

"You could say that." Effy was still gazing at her intently. "I take it you didn't talk to her yet." _A statement, not a question. She knows what a fucking coward I am._

Naomi looked at her for the first time. "To say what exactly? '_Hey, sorry for being a total asshole, but truth be told, I'm having a huge crush on you, and that fuck has been shit anyway?_'"

"That would be a start." the other girl replied with a smug smile. "Although I guess you should work on your wording a bit."

Naomi snorted and hugged her arms around herself. "Yeah, right." She shook her head. "I can't do that. I just can't." she said, her voice barely more than a whisper.

"Okay. Then don't. And forget about her. Should be easy enough." she said sarcastically. "Especially as you're seeing her every day."

Naomi turned towards her again, but the other girl was already walking away. _I can't._

….

"So what did she say to you?" Katie asked after she'd entered her room without bothering to knock. _As usual._

"Who?"

"That blonde bitchy bosom buddy of yours you were talking to before you started yelling at her and left without telling anyone?" she said in an accusatory voice.

Why couldn't she just leave her alone? She should have stayed at JJ's for another day, but camping out on his couch two nights straight had been enough. She probably hadn't slept more than two hours the previous night. At least he wouldn't nag her with nosy questions but just accept that she needed a place to hide from everyone.

"I wasn't yelling."

"Yeah, whatever. So?"

"It's none of your business, Katie. I don't want to talk about it, okay? So just leave it."

"Fine. I'll ask her, then."

Emily swiveled around, her eyes suddenly blazing with anger. "You won't do that." she said, her voice dangerously low. "I warn you, Katie. Stay out of it."

Katie looked at her, slightly astonished by her intense reaction. "I knew it. You've got the hots for her, haven't you? And now she told you to fuck off an-" Before she realized what she was about to do, Emily raised her hand and slapped her sister's face. Time stood still as they stared at each other, both shocked by Emily's outburst. She'd never hit her before. Ever.

"You fucking cunt, no wonder no one cares about you." With that, she stormed out of her room and slammed the door shut with a loud bang. Emily sank down on a chair and rested her head in her heads. She hadn't wanted to do that. It_ so _wasn't her. _Christ. _Katie's comment had just been the final straw. The worst thing was that her sister was actually right. She _had_ 'the hots' for Naomi and she _had_ told her to fuck off. Not in so many words, but still. She still didn't get it, though. What had caused her sudden change of behavior? The longer she thought about it, the more another disturbing thought crept into her mind._ What if I'm just overreacting? _

Perhaps she'd been the only one who'd felt that emotional tension between them. Perhaps the almost flirtatious banter they'd shared had been nothing more than a flippant conversation from the blonde's point of view. Perhaps Naomi had just liked spending the afternoon with her without having any ulterior motives. _That's a lot of 'perhaps' flying around here. But God, isn't this scenario a lot more probable than her having feelings for me that are more than merely friendly? _Emily realized with a sinking feeling in her stomach that she'd probably misinterpreted the whole situation. So Naomi had scored with some guy she didn't even know – so what? _Why should she think that that would concern me in any way? Perhaps she'd just wanted to show off the catch she'd made. Jesus fuck._ _I've made a complete fool of myself._

She groaned and rubbed the brink of her nose as she remembered the shocked look on the blonde's face when she'd told her to go and fuck herself. _Great Emily, she probably thinks you're a total lunatic now. And she couldn't be more right about that._ Why couldn't she just forget her and get on with it? She was straight, for fuck's sake. But she'd touched something inside her she couldn't quite put into words. One look at her and she'd known that she was a goner.

She didn't even know what it was about her that had cast that spell on her. The blonde seemed so distanced and aloof somehow, almost inapproachable. She belonged neither to the most popular students like her sister did, nor to the group of outsiders who didn't seem to fit in anywhere. She was just _her, _not to be put in a whatsoever labeled drawer, which made her stand out from all the others. She'd relished those precious moments when Naomi had let down her guard a bit and let her catch a glimpse of her personality that day in the café and during the afternoon she'd spent at her place. It had been enough to leave her irrevocably smitten with her. Under that hard shell she liked to protect herself with she sometimes seemed almost shy and adoringly self-conscious. She'd love to explore her some more and find out what made her tick, but now she'd blown any chances for that to hell. She leant back in her chair. _Why does everything have to be so complicated and messed up?_

….

Naomi lay in the dark and stared at the shadows the street lights outside her window were casting on the wall. She had lain like that for over an hour now, curled up on her bed, while her thoughts were running never ending loops in her head. She knew Effy was right. She knew she should talk to her and apologize. But if she wasn't even able to form the appropriate words in her mind, how should they ever pass her lips?

She hadn't seen her for three days now, and every pore of her body seemed to be missing her already. _How weird is that? _She missed her lovely smile, she missed her beautiful face, her stunning deep brown eyes to lose herself into, her vibrant red hair she'd love to run her fingers through, the sensual husk in her voice which caused a sweet shiver throughout her body every time she heard it, the accidental brush of her hand against hers which set her skin on fire. How could she ever have thought she'd be able to push these feelings aside with that stupid one-night stand? _Jesus._

If anything, it had only made them even more intensive because it had made her realize all the things she was craving for but had yet been denied. She couldn't remember ever wanting another person so badly, and she didn't necessarily mean that in a sexual way. She just wanted to be with her. Listen to her. Talk to her. Although only the thought of being allowed to run her fingers over her silky skin made her breath hitch_. _If even the shortest touch of their hands had been enough to trigger that feeling of raging heat inside her, how would she survive touching her for real, with no boundaries attached? _ No, don't go there. Christ, I wouldn't even know what to do exactly._ She exhaled deeply and tried to ban these thoughts into a far away corner of her mind. And failed miserably. _Jesus fucking Christ. Get a grip. It would be a miracle if she'd ever talk to you again, so no need to get all heated up because of something that will never happen anyway._

She rolled off the bed, switched on a reading lamp in the living-room and went into the kitchen. Hopefully there'd be something remotely eatable in the fridge. She gave a start at the harsh ring of the doorbell. She cast a glance at the clock on the wall above the kitchen table. 21.45. She didn't expect anybody and was only clad in a t-shirt and her knickers. _Great._

"Hang on!" she yelled and hurried back in the living room to grab a pair of worn-out jeans she'd flung carelessly over the back of her office chair. She put it on, ruffled her hand through her tangled hair, and opened the door. Her mind blanked out as soon as her gaze fell on the petite redhead who looked up at her with unreadable eyes. _Those eyes. Jesus. _

"What….what are you doing here?" she stammered and held on to the doorframe because she felt like the floor might be drawn from under her feet. This was a dream, right? Her mind was playing tricks on her now and had conjured up the image which had been plastered to the insides of her eyelids for the past couple of days. Emily opened her mouth to speak, but hesitated. _She looks so tired.  
_

"Can I.….can I come in?"

Naomi only nodded and stepped aside to let her pass. She had to summon up all her strength not to reach out to her and touch her under some pretext, or pretend she'd brushed against her accidentally. She could feel the warmth her body was emanating as she passed her and hurriedly took a step back. Emily sat down on the carpet, cross-legged, and didn't look up until she'd sat down opposite of her, her back leant against the couch. Even in the dim light she could make out grayish rings around her eyes as if she hadn't slept for a while. _And still she's fucking beautiful. Oh God._ Naomi had made sure there was as much space between them as possible, just to be on the safe side, and pulled her knees up to her chest. _It's now or never. Tell her that you acted like a prick and would do anything to make it up to her. Tell her that you think about her every single second of every fucking day. Tell her that you-_

"I'm sorry." Emily said, her voice barely more than a whisper. _What? What the hell is _she _sorry for?_ "I know I was totally out of line. I don't know what's gotten into me." _Oh no. No no no no no. This is all wrong._

"Emily…"

"You can do whatever you want with whoever you want." Emily interrupted her. "I hope I didn't scare the guy off or something."

"No…..no, you didn't." Naomi answered in a hoarse voice. "You better had, though."

Emily looked at her questioningly her but didn't say anything. Her gaze was locked on Naomi's, waiting for her to elaborate.

"I….I don't know, I don't usually do things like that and…." Naomi shrugged almost helplessly. "God, it was awful and I behaved like a total slut and…I'm sorry." She broke up, lost for words and looked at the other girl almost pleadingly, willing her to understand. _For fuck's sake, Naomi, you're such a fucking coward. _

The hint of a smile crept onto Emily's face.

"You looked kind of hot, though." she said with a mockingly raised brow.

"Really?" Naomi laughed, at the same relieved about Emily's sudden change of mood and ridiculously flattered by her compliment although it was clearly meant to be ironic.

"Really." Emily answered, suddenly serious again, her eyes locked on Naomi's. Naomi felt the heat well up inside her as if someone had set a fire in the pit of her stomach.

"Naomi, I….."

Naomi jumped up from her seated position. "I'll get you something to drink." She hurried into the kitchen before Emily got the chance to say another word. She rested her forehead against the cool surface of the fridge door. _Sweet Jesus. _She'd guessed what the redhead had wanted to say and all she could do was flee. She couldn't even say what had caused her to panic now. Wasn't that what she actually wanted? _Yes. And no._ She thumped her head lightly against the fridge door. She wasn't sure she could handle this, _her._ If Emily said out loud what she knew she wanted to say, there would be no way back. No chance to hide behind unspoken truths, no chance to convince herself that she'd made it all up in her head. No chance to go back to being just friends. _I'm just not up to this, I'm-_

She gave a start as she felt a hand on her shoulder. She turned around, her back pressed flash against the fridge door.

"Are you running from me?" The redhead's eyes were smoldering, burning into hers. She felt her heart stop at the sight of her. _Christ, help me. _She was aware that she was standing way too close to her, but she was trapped by the fridge behind her. Naomi couldn't help but stare at her rosy lips before her gaze flickered hurriedly back to her eyes again.

"No…..I….I'm just…"

"Just…?" Emily repeated and took one more step towards her, torturing the blonde with her closeness but still not touching her. She could feel Emily's breath on her skin, hot and sweet and tantalizing. Just as her mind refused to form any further coherent thought, Emily closed the remaining gap between them and brushed her lips against hers, slowly, probingly, as if to gauge her reaction. Naomi's eyes flew shut. Everything was blanked out. Everything but the indescribable sensation of her lips on hers, unbelievably soft, unbelievably gentle. _Just fucking unbelievable._ The heat she'd felt welling up inside her only minutes before had impossibly tripled and was raging through her veins like lava and forming its burning path to her heart. Her head was spinning from the impact of all the different sensations that hit her all at once – an overwhelming happiness she'd never felt before, combined with an almost ferocious desire and a crippling fear.

She almost groaned with disapproval when Emily's lips broke away from hers. Emily just looked at her, her face slightly flushed, her breathing heavy, her gaze never leaving Naomi's as if she was searching for something in her eyes. Naomi hesitated only a second before she leant towards her and captured her lips again. She boldly licked the redhead's lower lip and almost lost her footing as Emily's tongue collided with hers, inviting her to an alluring dance she more than happily joined into, exploring, probing, tasting the yet unknown territory. She didn't think, she just felt and felt and felt and allowed her mind to shut up for once and let her relish these all-consuming sensations without her usual qualms. She gasped into Emily's mouth as the redhead grabbed her neck and pulled her even closer towards herself so that their bodies were pressed tightly against each other, causing the most delicious effects in her lower abdomen. She wrapped her arms around the other girl to intensify their connection and let her hands travel up and down the redhead's back, hungry for every little piece of her she hadn't yet been allowed to touch.

Emily took in a sharp breath and broke the kiss for the second time. She took a step backwards and captured her gaze again. Her chocolate brown eyes had visibly darkened, her pupils were slightly dilated, her chest was rising and falling rapidly due to her heavy breathing. As soon as the physical contact was broken, Naomi felt the fear creep back into her heart and hoped it wouldn't show too obviously in her eyes. Emily made her feel things she wasn't used to. She broke her façade of distant serenity which she'd built like a fortress around herself with just a blink of her eyes and touched her deep inside where no one had ever been before. _I can't stand this. It's just too much, it's-_

Emily pulled her into a hug. "It will be okay. " she murmured against her neck as if she'd read her mind. "Everything's going to be okay. I promise."

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**Thanks for reading, I hope you liked it and the end of the chapter wasn't too soppy. Please leave a comment!**


	13. Chapter 13

**Okay...I have to admit I'm not quite happy with this chapter because it's a bit lame and I had to borrow parts of their conversation from season 3. I just didn't really now how to proceed from there, so...well. Anyway, thanks and thanks and thanks again for your reviews, I'm truly addicted to them!**

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Chapter 13

Emily leant back again, her gaze locked on Naomi's. She searched her face for a sign that her whispered words had found their way into the blonde's mind. She'd seen the fear in her eyes as soon as their lips had parted. She could almost feel the conflicting emotions the other girl was struggling with. _Please be brave. Don't push me away._ She hoped her silent pleading would somehow be enough to calm the other girl's internal fight because she didn't dare say the words out loud. She knew she'd crossed a line she couldn't uncross again with her rather bold advance which had even surprised herself.

Actually she'd only come to apologize for acting like a total twat at that fucking party last Saturday. After torturing herself with replaying that scene over and over again in her mind, she'd finally come to the conclusion that she'd got it all wrong - Naomi's hooking up with that guy had had obviously nothing to do with her and she'd totally overreacted due to her unreciprocated feelings for the blonde. At least that's what she'd thought until Naomi's halting confession. Only a couple of words that changed everything. _"God, it was awful and I behaved like a total slut and…I'm sorry."_ Her agonized words were still ringing in her ears. She knew she should have been angry. After all, her first hunch had been right – Naomi had done it to spite her, to show her how ridiculous her cravings for her had been. And probably to lie her own mind at rest by convincing herself that she was undeniably straight. But that look in her eyes, almost desperate as she'd tried to express her inner turmoil and failed, lost for words except that short apology. That had done it.

She hadn't been able to suppress the urge to lay her cards on the table after that, although she'd tried for a subtle hint. _"You looked kind of hot, though." Yeah, right Emily, very subtle. Jeez._ She'd thought her heart might explode with nerves as she'd awaited her reaction to her repeated confirmation. As she'd finally plucked up the courage to come clear, she'd hesitated only a split second before she'd followed the fleeing Naomi into the kitchen. She still couldn't quite believe that she'd been brave enough to make that first move and brush her lips against the blonde's. _And Jesus. _Nothing could have prepared her for that kiss. Tentative at first, hesitant, almost timid, because she'd feared that one false move might destroy the fragile bond between them. She'd broken away first, afraid she'd overstepped the mark and at the same time still thunderstruck by the raging emotions inside her that had left her slightly dizzy. She'd caught the blonde's gaze again, and what she'd seen in them had made her gasp. Before she'd been able to form another thought in her mind, Naomi had kissed her with an urgency that had made her knees go weak and released something inside her she had yet trouble to control. She'd broken that kiss again because she'd been afraid her feelings would get the better of her and she wouldn't be able to contain herself.

"Am I still in for that that drink now?" Emily asked softly. "Or do you want me to go?" she added, praying Naomi wouldn't opt for the latter.

Naomi hesitated, clearly torn between her disturbing feelings for her and the terrifying prospect of what would lie ahead if she gave in to them. Naomi took another deep breath. "Stay." she said quietly after a few seconds of absolute silence.

Emily couldn't hide the wide smile this answer had caused on her face. Naomi cleared her throat and awakened from her trance-like state. "So…." She opened the fridge. "Vodka…..or…..Vodka?" she said and shrugged her shoulders apologetically. She grabbed the bottle and took a large gulp which made her eyes water.

Emily followed her back into the living-room where the blonde laid down on the carpet, her head resting on her crossed arms. Emily flopped down beside her at the opposite angle, her head next to Naomi's hips. She was careful not to touch her although every fiber of her body was screaming for contact. She didn't want to push her too far, and besides that, she didn't quite trust her self-control to win over the mind-blowing effects the blonde's touch had on her. They lay in silence for a while, alternately taking swigs from the bottle.

"Does your sister know?" Naomi finally asked. It wasn't too hard to guess what Naomi was talking about.

"No. No one does."

Naomi fell silent again. "Effy knows." she said eventually_. I guessed that already. But fuck me, they've talked about me._

"Effy knows everything. I don't know how she does it. She's probably one of those weird mind-readers." Emily said with a smile.

"Yeah. It's creepy." Naomi chuckled.

"She would kill me. Katie, I mean. She's endlessly nagging me about my lack of boyfriends. She's just too blind to see. Or probably she doesn't want to."

Naomi said nothing but grabbed the bottle again and took another large gulp as if to give herself Dutch courage.

"I've been wondering…..what the lesbians do." _Where did that come from now? I bet she's blushing, too bad I can't see it._

"I mean…in bed."

Emily propped herself up on her elbows to look at her. "I know what you mean." she laughed, slightly embarrassed herself now. "How would I know?"

"You've never…?"

"No, I've never!" Emily laughed. _Fucking hell, look who's blushing now._

"I mean….is it all brogues and strap-ons?" Naomi asked and giggled slightly self-consciously.

"No!" Emily laughed. "I don't know…..we just do what we do to ourselves. I mean…to each other. Probably slightly more aggressively. And with….you know….oils and stuff." _I guess the color of my cheeks is matching the one of my hair by now. Bloody hell._

Noami just looked at her for a couple of seconds with a sly grin on her lips. "Oils, eh?"

"Yeah. And….stuff." Emily chuckled.

"Oilzzz." Naomi giggled.

"Yeah. Lots of it. Oilzzz."

"Where do you put it? Oilzzz?" she asked with an amused sideways glance at her.

"On the salad." Emily laughed.

"Right." Naomi smiled. She grabbed the now empty bottle and got up from the floor. "Ready for a refill?"

"Sure." she said although she already felt more than tipsy. "But you won't do a runner on me as soon as you've left the room, right?" Emily asked, her playful tone not quite covering up the worries her question implied.

Naomi looked at her as if considering the possibility. "No. I won't."

"Good."

…..

Naomi leant against the fridge again, the empty bottle clasped tightly in her hand. _Jesus fuck._ She still couldn't believe the recent turn of events. Only minutes ago she'd lain in bed and agonized over her fucking stupid stunt at that stupid party on Saturday night, fully convinced that she'd blown it for good. But now. _Christ._ Everything was different now. They'd kissed. Twice. And it had been fucking amazing. _Jesus. Fucking. Christ._ She just wasn't used to this. Falling head over heels for someone she barely knew. Falling head over heels for anyone, full-stop. She liked to think of herself as a self-controlled person who wouldn't let herself be dazzled by a surge of hormones or ridiculously good looks or even the most spectacularly inventive advances.

But this. This was a fucking emotional overload. Even replaying the scene in her mind caused her heartbeat to accelerate. She already felt like an addict – addicted to Emily's soft lips and to the mix of feelings her touch evoked in the pit of her stomach. Happiness. Elation. And - _Jesus Christ – _desire. Hot and sweet and tantalizing, flooding her body with a wave of want whose intensity almost terrified her. Of course she'd been awfully horny before, fuck, who hadn't been? But not like this. Never like this. _God. I'm up shit's creek without a paddle._

Yet there was one thing that terrified her almost as much as her own feelings - one look into Emily's eyes had been enough to tell her that she felt the same way for her, that Emily wanted her as badly as she wanted her. _I can't do this. I can't let her do that to me. _Naomi pressed her hands against her lids to erase the image of Emily's eyes from her mind which seemed to look right through her, through every layer she'd carefully wound around herself for the sake of safety. _Once we've taken that final step together, I'll be lost. Lost in her. With all security barriers gone._ She'd been more than aware of the rush of relief she'd felt at Emily's confession that she was almost as clueless about lesbian sex as she was. She knew she'd embarrassed them both with her question, but God, she'd had to know._ I can't believe I'm even thinking about this._ She shook her head as if to brush these disturbing thoughts away, took another bottle out of the fridge and headed back into the living-room.

"Round two's on its w-" She broke up as her gaze fell on Emily who lay curled up on the floor and was fast asleep. Her head had tipped to the side and her chest was rising and falling regularly with her steady breaths.

_Bugger me, she's fucking gorgeous. _She carefully sat down beside her and took a swig from the bottle. Just a little more of this and she'd definitely pass out. _From the alcohol or the sheer sight her? The jury is still out on this one._ She just watched her for a while, her soft features which had been rendered even more peaceful by sleep, her long-lashed eyelids which quivered slightly while she was dreaming, her porcelain-like skin Naomi didn't dare touch now, afraid she'd wake up and even more afraid of the consequences.

Naomi grabbed a blanket from the couch behind her and covered Emily carefully with it without touching her in the process. _Just to be on the safe side. _Just as she wanted to get up to fetch a pillow from her bed, Emily turned in her sleep and nestled her head on her lap._ Oh no. Jesus fuck no._ Naomi shuddered because of the unexpected and at the same time almost painfully tantalizing contact. After she'd quite unsuccessfully tried to calm down her raging blood pressure, she realized with a start that her fingers had developed a mind of their own and were playing with strands of bright red hair. _Naomi, for fuck's sake._ She groaned silently. _It's going to be a long night.  
_

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_**Thanks for reading, please leave a message on my machine...erm...feedback in my reviews! ;-)**_  
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	14. Chapter 14

**So here's the next one! I borrowed some parts of season three again, but before you get your hopes up, remember that this fic is on the slow side, so don't hit me in the end! ;-) I can't say often enough how happy I am about every review I get, so pleeeease keep it up!  
**

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Chapter 14

Emily woke from an irksome tingling of her nose. She slowly opened her eyes and was greeted by a shock of blond hair. She realized with a start that her face was nestled comfortably in the crook of Naomi's neck while the blonde's arm was draped loosely around her shoulder and her right leg rested on top of hers. After carefully extricating her head, she looked at the sleeping girl beside her. _Good God, she's beautiful. _Emily felt a surge of tenderness rush through her at the sight of the blonde's sleeping form, so peaceful and adorably vulnerable. She hesitated before she reached out and carefully tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear. Emily smiled as the other girl mumbled something incomprehensible in her sleep and pulled her closer again. _She feels so fucking good._ _I wish we could stay like this forever. Because as soon as she wakes up, she'll be up and gone._

She'd seen the battling emotions in her eyes and knew she was scared shitless. She hadn't quite figured out what Naomi was so afraid of. Was it just the fact that she was a girl? Or did she worry that she'd be disappointed in the end? Perhaps it was just some general dread of being trapped in a relationship. Or a combination of all three. She didn't dare ask her straight on because she didn't want to risk being turned down and pushed away. Naomi didn't seem to be a person who liked talking about her feelings and letting her guard down. On the contrary – as soon as she let her catch a tiny glimpse of her inner self, she pulled the shutters around herself tightly close shortly afterwards as if to make up for the accidentally disclosed secrets. _Why does it always have to be so difficult?_

Emily sighed and disentangled herself reluctantly from Naomi, moving very cautiously so she wouldn't wake up. She covered her with the blanket they'd obviously kicked away during the night and glanced at the clock on Naomi's desk. 6.27. She took a pen and a post-it and wrote down a short message. "_Sorry for dozing off on you like that and camping out on your floor - you're not THAT boring, I was just knackered! :-)" _She hesitated before she continued. _"I'm glad I came to see you last night and hope you won't wish you hadn't opened your door as soon as you wake up. See you later at uni. Emily."_ There was so much she wanted to say, but she knew that Naomi wasn't ready for that, so she tried to keep her tone light and stick to the bare essentials. She pasted the note next to Naomi's head on the floor and had to pry her eyes away from the sleeping girl. _I like you. I really, really like you._

…..

Fifteen more minutes to go. Could this course get any more boring? The professor had been droning on and on about the range of different public policy research methods for an eternity and Naomi had been hard pressed not to fall asleep in her chair. She retrieved Emily's note from her pocket for the umpteenth time and reread the short message she knew by heart by now. The first part still made her smile. But did she regret opening the door for her? Yes, she'd opened it for her in every sense, had opened it wide, wider than she'd ever expected to be possible. Her instincts told her to slam it shut again as fast as possible. It was her only chance to gain control again and to see clearly without Emily invading every single thought in her mind.

_Emily._ She'd woken sometime during the night and it had taken her a couple of seconds to realize that she'd snuggled against the redhead in her sleep, her arm pulling her close to herself while Emily's steady breaths were tickling her neck and evoking the most dangerous feelings inside her. She knew she should have broken away from her then, but God, was there anything more delicious than being so close to her? _You're in deep shit, Naomi._ So she'd stayed and relished the sweet shudders every breath of the girl in her arms caused to rush through her body until her tiredness had finally won over her raging hormones. _You do remember that you don't like sleeping close to anyone, right? That you used to kick everyone away who dared invading your space at night? But fucking hell. _She'd already been missing her when she hadn't yet been fully awake in the morning, her body craving for the physical contact she'd been allowed to savour only once.

At the same time she'd been relieved, though. Relieved because she wouldn't have known how to act around her after their shared intimacy. She didn't know what Emily expected of her now. They'd kissed. They'd spent the night wrapped around each other. But what now? What was she supposed to do? '_It's going to be okay. I promise.'_ That's what she'd said. But how did she know that? How could it ever be okay if she already touched her so deep inside that she felt utterly defenceless? Naomi shook her head, grabbed her bag and left the course room although the professor's monologue was still far from finished. She lit a cigarette even before she'd fully stepped outside into the yard and inhaled the smoke deeply into her lungs.

And there she was. Sitting on a bench, her back turned towards her and her head bowed over a book. Naomi halted mid-step. _Christ._ Everything inside her screamed at her to turn around and run as fast as possible. At the same time she felt irresistibly drawn towards the redhead as if they were connected by invisible strings. _God, Naomi, how about NOT being a total coward just once?_ She threw her cigarette into the nearest ashtray, took a deep breath and slowly walked on.

"Erm…hey." Naomi croaked as she was standing right behind her. She felt a slight blush creep up her cheeks. _Shit._

Emily turned around and smiled at her, her eyes shining brightly. "Hey yourself." Naomi prayed that Emily wouldn't try to touch her or pull her into a hug, she just wouldn't be up to it, not now, not here. But she needn't have worried, because Emily remained in her seated position and just shut her book.

"I don't want to disturb you." Naomi said and nodded towards the book in Emily's hands.

"You don't." Emily hurriedly replied. "It's boring as hell anyway." She brushed a strand of red hair from her face. "Whereas you aren't."

Naomi pursed her lips and couldn't supress a smile. "Really?" Naomi asked with a cocky smirk.

"Definitely." Emily confirmed, still smiling widely.

Naomi smiled and averted her eyes before she looked at the other girl again. "So you're still favouring me over a boring book. Seems to grow into a habit." she said, replaying the playful banter they'd shared a couple of days ago.

"Yeah, well, seems as if _you are_ growing on _me_ somehow_."_

Naomi remained silent and stared at her feet, hugging herself. She'd never been good at accepting compliments.

"You do realize we've only two days left to finish our paper, right?" Emily said, quickly changing topics.

"What? Oh…yeah."

"Want to meet after uni? And bring those boring books?" Emily asked with a risen brow.

Naomi looked at her again as if she was weighing the pro's and con's. _Meeting her again. Alone. She's the death of me. Definitely._ "Okay." she finally agreed. "I guess there's no way around this." she added with a mock frown and rolled her eyes to cover up the whirl of emotions the prospect of meeting her again caused inside her. Thrilling anticipation. And paralyzing fear. Fighting for dominance inside her mind, but the battle was far from over. _God, Naomi, this is getting kind of old. How about getting a grip soonish? Jesus._

"Yeah, right, but thank God we've got to wrap this up pretty fast now, otherwise I'd be stuck with you forever." Emily retorted with a cheeky grin while her smoldering brown eyes were locked on hers.

"Yes, thank God, probably you'll bore me so much that _I'll _fall asleep this time."

"Oh, I'll better keep you busy then." she countered with a wink. Naomi felt herself blush deeply. _Shitshitshit._ She tried to erase the pictures of Emily "keeping her busy" from her mind and failed.

Emily laughed and grabbed her book. "Come on. Sociology's waiting." With that, she got up and headed for the entrance. Naomi watched her retreating back, still slightly numb.

"You coming or what?" Emily had turned around again and was waiting for her to catch up.

"Yeah." Naomi cleared her throat. "Sure." _Fuck me sideways, she's the death of me._

….

"Where are we going exactly?"

"Take a left turn at the next fork. We're almost there."

Naomi indicated and did as she was told. They'd been driving for about fifteen minutes now. They had left Bristol behind and were passing fields of rye and corn whose ears were swaying in the wind. They'd left the road and the wheels were rumbling on the narrow cart track they were following towards a piece of woodlands. The car crunched to a halt as Naomi spotted a huge trunk that had been used to block the path.

"End of the line, I take it?"

"Looks like it. Come on." Emily grabbed the basket she'd brought from her room while Naomi had waited in the car, half-expecting Katie to dash through the door and start yelling at her. But thankfully Emily had returned only minutes later without her annoying twin on her heels.

Naomi carried the bag that was filled with their books and followed Emily into the wood. She breathed in the clean, fresh air and almost gasped as a clearing opened before them, with a small lake surrounded by scattered trees and knee-high grass mottled with daisies and bright yellow buttercups with occasional poppies strewn in between.

"Wow. It's lovely. A lovely place."

"Yeah. It's one of my favourites." Emily spread the rug she'd brought at the edge of the lake, flopped down on top of it and kicked off her shoes. She'd never brought anyone here before because this was the place she went to when she wanted to be alone to dwell on her thoughts. Naomi lay down beside her and Emily noted how carefully she avoided touching her and lay as far from her as possible without leaving the rug. _Don't push it, Emily. You don't want her to run._ "Okay…so….let's get to work." Emily retrieved her netbook from her bag, glad she'd remembered to recharge the battery.

The tension she'd felt earlier seemed to dissipate the longer they discussed the final chapters of their paper and the conclusion they wanted to point out. She was once again fascinated by Naomi's straightforwardness when it came to present her point of view. Emily couldn't help but be impressed by her convincing logic, her perfectly structured way of thinking and conclusive reasoning which was almost intimidating. At the same time, the blonde was open for counterproposals and ready to accept a compromise when their concepts drifted too far apart.

"Okay….let's proofread it one last time before we call it a day." Naomi finally suggested, turned on her stomach and propped herself up on her elbows to have a look at the display. Her arm brushed lightly against Emily's. _Breathe, Emily. In and out. See? It's easy. God._

They read in silence, both well aware of their arms touching between them.

"Sounds good to me." Emily said quietly, her voice huskier than usual even to her own ears.

"Yes, I think we did it." Naomi replied without looking at her. Silence settled heavily upon them as no one dared to move. Suddenly Emily jumped up and pulled her shirt over her head without any prior warning.

"What…..what are you doing?" Naomi stared at her flabbergasted, her cheeks turning slightly red.

"I'm going for a swim. Come on. The sun won't shine forever." Emily said and started to unzip her skirt.

"What? No. I…..I didn't bring a swimming costume and…."

"Neither did I. I brought towels, though. That's a start."

"Someone might be looking!"

"Honey, your body ain't that special." _Okay, that's a lie, but what the hell?_ She stepped out of her skirt and felt suddenly self-conscious, standing in front of her just in her bra and knickers. She needn't have worried though, because Naomi had averted her eyes and was staring at the checked pattern of the rug as if it was the most interesting piece of material she'd ever seen. After a while, she looked up again, her eyes trailing over Emily's body before they hurriedly settled on her eyes.

"Alright. But don't look, okay!" Naomi commanded with a stern voice.

"Fine." Emily shrugged her shoulders and turned around for about two seconds before she couldn't resist and sneaked a glance at the blonde. She let her gaze travel over her body while Naomi stripped to her underwear and placed her clothes neatly on the rug.

"I said 'Don't look!" she giggled as she caught Emily watching her out of the corner of her eye.

"I wasn't looking." Emily laughed, feeling caught in the act. _Yeah, Emily, very inconspicuous. Jeez._

"You were looking!" Naomi persisted with a smile.

"I wasn't!" Emily lied again, laughing.

"You were perving." Naomi laughed and shoved her so that Emily stumbled and fell into the lake with a loud yelp. She laughed and brushed the wet hair from her face.

"Come in!" Emily shouted and spattered the other girl with water. Naomi hesitated a second before she held her nose and jumped right in.

"Jesus, it's freezing!" she squealed and grimaced as her feet stepped on something slippery on the ground. "Ew, what is that?"

"What?"

"On the ground. It feels slimy."

"Ah, come on, don't be such a pussy!" Emily laughed. _Could she be any cuter?_ Emily swam towards her and shoved a wave of water into her face.

Naomi coughed and sputtered. "You bitch, just you wait!" she yelped and took up pursuit after Emily who was doing the crawl towards the opposite side of the lake. Emily squealed as Naomi caught up with her and pushed her head under water. She came up again, laughing and put her hands on top of Naomi's head to take revenge and push her down, but Naomi stood like a rock, unmovable. Naomi smirked at her and pushed her under water one more time. Emily laughed as she emerged again. "That's fucking unfair, it's too deep for me to stand!"

"Yeah…..that's a shame, really." Naomi said with a sly grin and started another attack. Emily grabbed her arms to fight her off, and they wrestled to and fro, neither of them letting go. Emily couldn't say at what point the atmosphere between them changed from foolishly playful to something else, she just looked at the blonde and something made 'click' in her head, and she could see the same change in Naomi's eyes. Suddenly they were very aware that they were only centimetres apart, their hands touching, clad only in their soaking wet underwear and both of them slightly out of breath from their playful squabble. The fight went out of them, although their hands were still touching. _My goodness, she's…._

Emily's mind blanked out as her gaze travelled from Naomi's lips back to her flashing ice-blue eyes which seemed to be darker than usual and were focusing on her with such an absoluteness that it took Emily's breath away. She moved as if remote-controlled, her action baring every logic thought besides the almost blinding need to gather those lips with hers. She stopped a few millimetres short of her destination, giving Naomi the chance to back away and prayed to heaven that she wouldn't. _I have to feel her. Now. _Emily sighed quietly as Naomi closed the gap between them and their lips collided forcefully. Gone was the probing tentativeness of their first kiss, replaced by a burning desire their pent-up emotions had caused inside them. Emily gasped into Naomi's mouth as the blonde pulled her closer against herself and kissed her deeply, almost aggressively, her tongue roaming her mouth as if to mark it as her natural territory. Emily smiled against Naomi's lips at the blonde's barely suppressed a moan when Emily raked her nails down her bare back, her other hand tightly clasped around the blonde's neck to pull her even closer to herself. _Oh. My. God. I'm dreaming. I have to be._ Naomi's left hand was tangled in her hair, her right gripped her hip and pressed their bodies flash against each other. Emily shivered with want as she felt the other girl pant into her mouth due to the indescribable feeling of skin against skin, their bodies separated only by the flimsy material of their soaked underwear. They broke the kiss in desperate need to breathe, but before Emily could form a single coherent thought in her mind, Naomi crashed her lips against hers again and kissed her feverishly. Her hand travelled from Emily's hip upwards until it cupped her breast through her bra. Emily nearly choked when the blonde shoved a thigh between her legs, providing her with much longed for friction while her tongue kept on dancing with hers in a frantic rhythm. It took all of Emily's strength, but she broke the kiss and grabbed Naomi's wrists to stop her and pushed her gently away without letting go of her. _I can't believe I'm doing this._

"Wait." she whispered, her breath still coming in short breaths. Naomi looked at her questioningly, almost shocked, her eyes burning with desire, her breathing erratic.

"Emily…" Naomi started with a raspy voice, but Emily silenced her with a light kiss on her lips before she drew back again.

"This is killing me, I swear." Emily whispered. "But I want you to be sure. I don't want to be your spur-of-the-moment mistake." Emily's eyes were pleading with her, willing the blonde to understand. "I just couldn't stand it if you regretted it tomorrow." Emily tried to drown the voices in her head that screamed at her to take the chance and shoot all worries to hell and nearly groaned with the effort to silence her raging hormones.

Naomi looked at her as if it had just sunk in what they'd been about to do. "It's killing me too." Naomi whispered and blew a soft kiss on Emily's lips before she closed her eyes and leant her forehead against hers, trying to steady her breathing and come back down to earth again. "I'm sorry."

"I know." Emily kissed her once more and reluctantly let go of her wrists. "Come on. Our skin's getting all fishy already and the water is fucking freezing."

Naomi nodded, but before Emily could turn around and head back to the bank, she took hold of her hand and snatched her back towards herself. She kissed her tenderly this time, nibbling on Emily's lower lip, unwilling to let her go as if she was afraid her permission to kiss her would expire as soon as they stepped out of the water.

"Naomi, I….." _I'm falling in love with you. _She knew she shouldn't say it, but nothing could have been moretruthful at the moment. Her heart was welling over with feelings for the blonde, but she didn't dare say the words out loud, afraid of the other girl's reaction. So she let her sentence trail out without finishing it and hoped her features wouldn't give her away.

Naomi looked at her for a couple of seconds and gave her a last chaste peck on the lips. "Let's go."

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**Ah...done, I hope you liked it. Feel free to leave a comment! **


	15. Chapter 15

**Okay, sorry it took me so long to finish this chapter, but I really struggled with this one, and it's the longest chapter I've written so far because I didn't want to cut it in the middle. I can't say often enough how happy I am about the reviews I get, so loads of thanks to those of you again who bother to take the time to leave a comment!**

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Chapter 15

She'd almost done it. She'd almost had sex with a girl. Or make that a _woman_. And _God_, how she'd wanted it. Desperately. She couldn't remember ever having felt a need so urgent and raw to sleep with someone, to touch and be touched, to relish and caress, than this afternoon at the lake. She'd thought she'd die when Emily had pulled away, although her whispered explanation had tugged at her heart. Emily didn't want her to regret. Neither did she. But as much as she'd craved for the other girl's touch, she'd realized with a pang of guilt that Emily was right. Right then, her hormones had been flying high and had numbed all rational thought.

But what about tomorrow? She didn't want to sneak out on Emily while she was still asleep just because she realized that once the first bout of passion had diminished, she wasn't able to cope with the situation. _Why not? You've done it just a couple of days ago, haven't you. _Naomi nearly winced at the memory of the stupid stunt she'd initiated last Saturday. _That's not the same. _He'd just been some random guy looking for a quick fuck. And that was what they'd both got. But Emily – that was something else altogether. She cared. And she could get hurt. _And that's what I fucking don't want to do. I don't want to hurt her. Ever._ _But how can I promise her that if I'm not sure of anything?_ She was so fucking confused right now. She felt drawn to her like a piece of metal to a magnet, but at the same time she wasn't able to shed the fear of the inevitable collision.

_What if I'm not up to this? What if I'm not up to _her_? She seems so sure of everything. _But hell, she liked her. She liked her a lot, but she didn't allow her mind to pursue that thought any further. _Why would I ever deserve being with her? She's everything I'm not. She's not a cold-hearted and egoistic bitch like me who doesn't give a shit about others. And she's so much braver than me. While I'm scared shitless by the feelings she evokes in me, she's the one who gives me time to decide what I want. _But feelings like this were bound to make her vulnerable. Once she'd let her into her heart, she'd be lost, utterly dependant on her, a slave to the feelings she had for her. _Yeah, right, who are you kidding, Naomi. You're in deep shit already._

"Are you alright?"

She felt Emily looking at her but kept her eyes on the street. "Yes, I'm fine. Sorry, I was just lost in thought."

Emily said nothing but rested her hand lightly on Naomi's thigh as if to reassure her. Even that innocent gesture made Naomi's heart skip a beat. Before she really knew what she was doing, she let go of the steering wheel with her left hand, covered Emily's with hers and entwined their fingers. She saw her smile out of the corner of her eye but still didn't turn towards her.

"I didn't bring a USB stick." the redhead suddenly said, ignoring the fact that they were holding hands as if it was the most natural thing in the world.

"What?"

"We still have to make a printout. Our printer broke down ages ago, but I didn't bring a USB stick. I'll give it to you tomorrow."

_That fucking paper, she'd almost forgotten about that._ "We can print it at my place now, no problem at all." _Jesus, Naomi, how much more obvious can you be? _But she couldn't stand the thought of Emily leaving her so soon, so she'd grabbed the chance to postpone her departure happily.

"Okay." Emily simply agreed. They drove the rest of the way in silence, but Naomi made sure to grab Emily's hand again whenever she'd had to let go to take hold of the steering wheel. _Since when are you the holding-hands-type? But hell, it felt right._ As soon as she'd parked the car, Naomi unbuckled her seatbelt and was about to open the door when Emily pulled her gently back and kissed her softly on the lips once again before she got out. Naomi gazed after her, the feeling of her lips still tingling on hers. _Jesusjesusjesus. I'm in love. _All denial was useless. Deep down, she'd known it all along, but even thinking about it had scared her so much she'd preferred to lie to herself. But what sense did it make to deceive herself when every cell of her body was more than aware of the truth?

She got out of the car, her gaze still fixed on Emily's retreating form until the redhead turned around and their eyes met. Emily was smiling that beautiful smile of hers that had cast a spell on Naomi from the first day she'd met her. _How could I _not _love her?_

"Are you coming?"

Naomi only nodded and hoped her feelings weren't showing too obviously on her face. They climbed the stairs without talking and Naomi's fingers shook slightly as she put the key into the lock. _Why am I so fucking nervous? Jesus. Make a printout, yeah, right, fucking great idea, Naomi._ She heard Emily chuckle quietly behind her.

"Do you need some help?"

Luckily, the lock snapped open right then and Naomi motioned Emily to step inside with a triumphant smirk on her face. "After you."

Emily headed straight for the living-room and placed her netbook on Naomi's desk.

"Drink?" Naomi called from the hallway.

"Yes, please. Something to warm my guts, I'm freezing." Emily answered and ruffled her still slightly wet hair. Naomi took a bottle of vodka out of the fridge and didn't bother with glasses. She joined Emily in the living-room and offered her the bottle.

"Cheers."

"Cheers." Emily took a large swig and handed it back. Naomi took a pull as well and felt the liquid burn a path into her stomach like acid. At least it made her nervousness abate a bit. _Thank God._ Emily flopped down on the floor, her back resting against the couch. Naomi followed suit next to her, their thighs and upper arms lightly touching, and passed her the bottle again.

"Better?"

"Way better." Emily replied and couldn't help but wonder if they were talking about the same thing. She felt moderately lightheaded and wasn't sure if that was due to the alcohol running through her veins or to Emily's closeness which she was more than aware of. She would have liked to take hold of her hand again, but strangely enough, she didn't dare, although it had only been a couple of minutes ago since they'd shared their last brief kiss. _Fucking insecurity._

She just wasn't used to this. With Emily, everything was different. Emily had seen right through her cocky straightforwardness and had unveiled her insecurity that usually stayed safely hidden behind various impenetrable layers she'd wound around herself. Emily had even tried to reassure her without pushing her for a fast decision. But still, her mere presence confused her without end. Only minutes ago, Naomi hadn't been able to stand the thought that she'd head straight home after their trip to the lake. Now she couldn't stand sitting so close to her, the urge to touch her growing stronger with every second ticking by. Her mind flickered back to the moment when Emily had leant towards her in the water and she'd more than happily obliged and crashed her lips against Emily's. _Pure bliss._ That's what it had felt like. Naomi bit her lip as the memory sent a by now well-known rush of heat through her body. _Christ, she's driving me insane. And we haven't even touched. Jesus._

"A penny for your thoughts." Emily gazed at her with a wry smile on her face.

Naomi turned her head and looked at her, and this time she was sure that her eyes were acting as an exact mirror of the feelings that raged through her right now. She heard Emily's breath hitch as their gazes locked. The redhead stared at her transfixed, her eyes almost black in the dim light.

"I lied to you." Naomi whispered in a hoarse voice.

Emily looked at her questioningly. "Lied….how?" she whispered back, slightly confused.

"I don't own a printer."

"What?" Emily laughed. "I don't un-" Emily paused mid-sentence as the penny dropped. "Oh…."

"I didn't want you to leave." Naomi interrupted her. " I…..I wanted you to stay. Here. With me."

"Why?" Emily's voice was barely audible now. _Oh no, please don't ask me that. Please don't._

"Because….." _Because I love you. And I couldn't let you walk away just like that. Not after what happened this afternoon. _She couldn't say it, not yet, but still she hoped that the other girl would understand. Naomi leant towards Emily and hesitated a second to grant her the chance to pull back. _Please don't. Please._ Naomi closed her eyes and gently brushed her lips against Emily's before she cautiously licked her lower lip and slipped her tongue inside her mouth. She whimpered when their tongues collided, although she wasn't sure if the sound had come from her own mouth or from Emily's. _God help me. _What had started as a soft and gentle kiss quickly developed into a passionate dance of their tongues, every stroke and every caress sending fiery waves through Naomi's body.

Every cell inside her emitted a mute cry when Emily suddenly pulled away. _No. Don't do this to me. Not again._ But one look into Emily's eyes gave her all the answers she needed. This time she wouldn't backtrack, this time she would see it through without worrying for her or about the time that lay ahead. _No turning back_. Naomi exhaled loudly when Emily's lips made a dive for her exposed neck and kissed a hot trail from just below her ear towards her collarbone. _Jesus. _Naomi instinctively pushed her away, shocked by the blinding need her delicate touch caused to rush through her body like lightning. Emily looked at her, her eyes so much darker than usual, before she pulled her closer and pressed her lips gently against Naomi's neck again.

Emily pulled back when she felt Naomi's body tense. Emily looked at her questioningly, a flicker of uncertainty passing through her darkened eyes. _God, she's just as self-conscious as I am. _She'd almost forgotten that Emily was as inexperienced in this area as she was. _"I don't know…..we just do what we do to ourselves. I mean…to each other. Probably slightly more aggressively. And with….you know….oils and stuff."_ Naomi smiled when the memory of their conversation popped into her mind.

Naomi pulled the redhead closer again. "You're killing me." she whispered into Emily's ear with a smile and gently bit her earlobe. The redhead's gasp made Naomi chuckle._ But two can play this game_.Emily pulled back once again and the look she gave her made Naomi's insides turn to jelly. _God, she wants this as much as I do. _"Trust me, I'll make very sure that you'll live." Emily replied, but her playful tone couldn't hide the desire that made her voice even huskier than usual. _Time for a little bit of bravery._ Naomi took a deep breath and started to unbutton Emily's blouse with shaking fingers, Emily's eyes giving her the permission she'd been silently asking for. As soon as Naomi had brushed Emily's blouse down her shoulders, Emily grabbed the hem of Naomi's shirt, pulled it over her head in one go and crashed her lips against Naomi's.

Naomi couldn't help but moan quietly at the redhead's onslaught and the feeling of her naked skin on her own. Before she knew what she was about to do, she'd lowered Emily down on the floor and was hovering on top of her, their kiss still unbroken, their tongues still feverishly roaming each other's mouths. Suddenly Emily flipped them over and Naomi was lying flat on her back, panting when Emily's hands ran down her sides grazed over her bra-clad breasts. _Oh God. _Emily fiddled with Naomi's belt and undid the buttons of her jeans one by one before she tugged them down. Naomi lifted her hips to get rid of the annoying material that separated her from Emily's skin as fast as possible and kicked it aside when it had reached her ankles. In return, she reached around Emily and unzipped the skirt she was still wearing. She almost groaned with frustration as Emily broke their kiss and got up, but was soon mollified when she stepped out of her skirt and lowered herself down on her again. _Jesus Christ. _Naomi whimpered quietly when Emily's knee accidentally grazed her center while she peppered her torso with open-mouthed kisses, every single one sending an electric shock through Naomi's body. She raked her nails down the redhead's back which earned her a throaty gasp from Emily.

_I have to feel her. All of her. _She pushed herself up and Emily with her and captured the other girl's lips with her own again before she let her head dip to the side and kissed her way down Emily's neck towards her shoulder. Her fingers followed suit and detangled from Emily's hair to brush the strap of her bra down her shoulder. Naomi's gaze locked on Emily's as she asked silently for her approval. Emily nodded once, breathing heavily, and Naomi didn't need to be told twice. She reached around her and fumbled with the clasp of her bra. _Jesus fuck, how hard can it be?_ Emily chuckled.

"Need some help?" she whispered, reached behind herself and undid it with one flick of her fingers. Naomi smiled ruefully and bit her lip.

"I guess I'll have to practice that." she whispered back and saw Emily smile. She noticed that her fingers were shaking when she reached out and slid the remaining strap down Emily's shoulder. She couldn't help but stare at the redhead's flawless skin and her perfect breasts which were rising and falling regularly with her rapid breaths. She pried her gaze away from the freshly uncovered territory and sought Emily's eyes again. The look she saw in them nearly made her heart stop – pure longing mixed with a flicker of self-consciousness. _Don't you ever be self-conscious because of me. Ever._ "God, Emily. You're fucking perfect." she breathed. Emily pulled her closer again, reached around Naomi and undid the catch of her bra so easily as if she'd done it a thousand times before. She pulled it down with one hand and it was forgotten even before it hit the floor.

Naomi couldn't help but moan quietly when Emily pressed her body tightly against her own, the feeling of their naked breasts colliding indescribable. _Jesus. Fucking. Christ._ She didn't put up resistance when Emily pushed her back down on the carpet and gasped loudly as Emily's mouth travelled down her neck, blowing butterfly kisses on her skin and burning a fiery path towards her chest. Naomi gave a jolt when Emily reached her destination and caught her nipple between her lips while she cupped her other breast with her hand.

"Emily…." She didn't even know if she'd spoken her name out loud or if she'd just thought it in her head, her mind totally overwhelmed by the unbelievable sensations the redhead was inflicting on her. Naomi pulled Emily's head up again and kissed her hungrily, all doubts she'd ever held whipped from her mind. Emily groaned as Naomi shoved her knee between her thighs and deepened the kiss even more. She could feel the other girl's wetness even through her knickers, mirroring her own that was pooling between her legs, and it was driving her wild. Naomi panted into Emily's mouth as she felt her hand slide beneath the waistband of her knickers. Emily pulled them down without hesitating, assisted by Naomi who'd lifted her hips to hurry the process. Emily pushed herself up on her elbows and took in Naomi's naked body in front of her.

"God, Naomi. You're beautiful. Fucking beautiful." She couldn't hide the streak of awe from her voice that was simultaneously reflected in her eyes. She lowered herself down on Naomi again who awaited her eagerly and tried to pull her impossibly closer, her mouth impatiently searching for its counterpart. Naomi moaned as Emily's fingers determinedly travelled down her body again and finally brushed through her wet folds, hesitantly at first, then gaining courage from the involuntary bucking of Naomi's hips against her hand. _Jeeeeeesus. _Emily stroked her more firmly now, spurred by Naomi panting into her mouth and writhing beneath her. Just as Naomi thought she was going to combust under the redhead's tantalizing touch any second, Emily slipped two fingers inside her and ventured carefully in and out before she slowly gained speed. Naomi's eyes flew shut and her head flopped down on the floor, her hands tangled in Emily's hair while Emily's lips attacked her breast again, sucked her nipple into her mouth and soothed it with her tongue while she massaged her other breast with her hand. Naomi met every thrust of her fingers with a corresponding motion of her hips and felt herself spiraling upwards, downwards, everywhere at once, closer and closer towards the final release she was craving for. She was panting heavily now and felt a trickle of sweat run down her temple. As she felt Emily's lips slowly trailing up her neck, she forced herself to open her eyes again. She had to see her, had to look at her when she came. As soon as their gazes met, she felt ready to let go, assured by the other girl's chocolate-brown eyes that she'd catch her whenever and wherever she came undone. She gave a stifled gasp when she felt Emily's fingers curl inside her while her thumb pressed down hard on her clit and she started to explode. _Emily. EmilyEmilyEmily._ She shuddered uncontrollably as her orgasm ripped through her and clung to Emily as if she was drowning. _I love you. I love you. I love you. _She felt Emily blow soft kisses on her temple and brush a sweaty streak of hair from her face while she tried to steady her breathing and come down from her high.

"Jesus, Emily." she whispered when she was finally able to breathe regularly again. She was lost for words and captured Emily's lips instead. She kissed her tenderly and hoped that Emily could read everything she needed to know out of that single kiss. She could feel the redhead smile against her lips and pulled her down flash against herself again to gain as much skin contact as possible and slowly ran her fingers down Emily's back, relishing the feeling of her velvety skin beneath her fingertips. _Will I ever get enough of this? How could I?_

Naomi gently rolled them over so that she was lying on top and pushed herself up on her arms to look at the girl she'd just given herself to so completely. "You're gorgeous. Absolutely gorgeous. God help me." Naomi whispered in a hoarse voice while her gaze travelled down Emily's body. She still couldn't believe that she was allowed to see her like this, to touch her, to make love to her. She smiled about the expression she'd just used in her head. _Make love._ She couldn't remember ever having defined having sex with someone that way, but with Emily it was just that. Neither a mindless fuck nor simply passionate sex. She'd never felt so loved by anyone she'd slept with, and she'd never been that eager to give back what she'd received and even triple the sensations if she could.

Her hands had started roaming Emily's perfect body and were touching every piece of skin they hadn't yet been allowed access to, slowly, adoringly, as if they wanted to imprint the sensation in her mind, just in case the permission to touch her would be taken away from her after tonight. She watched in awe as Emily's nipples hardened under her touch, and her heart skipped a beat when she heard Emily draw in a sharp breath and close her eyes. She cupped her breasts with her hands, grazed her fingers over her nipples and couldn't resist to let her mouth follow suit, her tongue twirling around the hardened peaks. _God. I'm in heaven. I have to be._

She heard Emily moan quietly beneath her, and she'd never heard a sweeter sound. She kissed her way down to her belly button and nipped at the soft flesh surrounding it. She felt Emily's hand tangling her hair, pulling her closer. Naomi's hand was stopped by the waistband of Emily's knickers and she couldn't help but give a groan of protest. She pushed them down, her lips never leaving Emily's skin, and ran her hands unhesitatingly through her wetness, eliciting a moan from Emily and herself at the same time. _God, she's so wet. Just for me. I did that._ She pulled her head up and stared in wonder at Emily's face which was flushed with heat, the arousal clearly visible in her eyes which had turned almost black, her breath coming in short gasps. _Fucking hell, _she'd promised to herself to take it slow with her, to relish every second, to feel and make her feel, but _God_, she couldn't, she just couldn't, Emily was more than ready for her and her eyes begging her to do something, _anything_, to release her, her slightly swollen lips alluring her to kiss her again. Naomi more than happily obliged and kissed her hungrily. She groaned when Emily kissed her back with just as much passion and bit her lip, but Naomi didn't even feel the pain.

"Naomi." Emily panted in her mouth. "Please….." Emily's undefined pleading sent a ray of white light into Naomi's brain, blinding her for everything but the girl beneath her. She slipped two fingers inside her and thought she'd come again just from the feeling of her velvety walls surrounding her fingers. _Christ. Oh Christ._ She found a steady rhythm, and Emily's hips bucked against her hand with every thrust, urging her on. Just looking at Emily edging ahead towards her climax was enough to let her break apart again, and she had to concentrate hard to keep her pace. Naomi sensed that she was close as Emily's kisses grew more and more passive before she broke away from her lips altogether and just pulled her close to herself. "God, Naomi…" she panted against her ear and dug her nails into her back, but again Naomi was way too lightheaded to notice. As soon as she'd applied some pressure to Emily's clit with her left hand, her mind blanked out when she felt Emily's walls constrict around her fingers, the most indescribable sensation she'd ever experienced, and Emily bit her shoulder hard when her orgasm hit. Naomi groaned quietly due to the combination of her emotional overload and the sting of Emily's teeth on her flesh. She pushed herself up on her elbows and blew soft kisses on Emily's face – her chin, her cheek, her eyelids and finally her lips.

"God, Naomi…that was…amazing. _You_ are amazing." the redhead whispered after her breathing had finally turned regular again. Her fingertips gently caressed Naomi's shoulder and the mark she'd left there. "Sorry for hurting you."

"Don't worry about it." Naomi answered quietly and had to smile because of the slight blush that had crept up Emily's cheeks. "You're fucking sexy when you come, that's definitely worth the pain." she chuckled and ducked away before the now more than embarrassed Emily could hit her. Before Emily could start to protest, she silenced her with a tender kiss. _I love you. And perhaps some time I'll even be able to say it out loud._

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**This was definitely the hardest part for me to write so far, I hope you liked it nonetheless. Please leave a comment!**


	16. Chapter 16

**Here's another chapter - it's kind of a filler because I haven't made up my mind yet about how I'd like to proceed. **** I _do_ like a bit of plot every now and again, so don't get used to it! ;-) Loads of thanks again for your comments, I'm always looking forward to those!**

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Chapter 16

When she woke up, she found her head nestled comfortably into the crook of Naomi's neck and their limbs still entwined. She wondered how they'd been able to sleep that way without waking each other every ten minutes. Nonetheless, she'd slept like a rock until the first rays of light had crept through the window. Emily remembered how they'd lain in almost the same posture the previous morning, but yet, today everything was different. They were lying in Naomi's bed, still stark naked and only wrapped in a thin blanket after having made love to each other for the first time last night, and _God, _even saying that it had been the most amazing and mind-blowing experience she'd ever made would be the understatement of the year. _"I _do _own a bed, you know."_the blonde had said with a smile while she had still been resting on top of her, propped up on one elbow, and played with a strand of her red hair. However, none of them had been willing to break the physical contact, so they'd stayed on the floor until they'd almost been too sleepy to get up.

She still couldn't wrap her mind around the fact that this was really happening. Although Naomi's touch was still tingling on her skin, she wasn't quite able to shed the fear that someone might pinch her any moment so that she'd wake up from this more than fabulous dream and be forced to continue fantasizing about the blonde without any hope that her feelings for her would ever be reciprocated. It would simply be too good to be true if Naomi had only a fraction of the feelings for her that she held for the blonde. She didn't even know why she was worrying about this right now. Deep down, she knew that the other girl shared her feelings to some extent, she'd seen it in her eyes, the way she'd looked at her almost adoringly, she'd felt it in her kisses and the way she'd touched her, her fingers caressing her reverently without missing out on a single centimeter, so tenderly it had almost been agonizing.

But what about today? What would happen as soon as she woke up? Emily couldn't stand the thought that Naomi could be caught up by whatever fears had been haunting her and push her away again. She leant back and loosened her grip on the blonde to look at her – her soft features, even more softened by sleep, her blond hair that was spread on her shoulders except for a few stray strands that had fallen in her face, the flawless skin of her naked back which was thankfully only partly covered by her blanket. _Please don't do that to me. Not after tonight._

She felt Naomi stir beside her and secretly hoped that she'd sleep on for a while, so that the moment of truth and probable disappointment would be postponed, if only for a few minutes during which she'd be able to relish Naomi's closeness and the feeling of her skin on her own before it would possibly be drawn away from her. But she hadn't even completed that thought when Naomi slowly blinked her eyes open. It took only seconds until she oriented herself in the well-known surroundings and her eyes focused on Emily's. They looked at each other in silence, and Emily grew more and more nervous with every passing second.

"Good morning." Emily whispered and pulled the blanket closer around herself – partly to put up a shield against Naomi's unreadable gaze and partly to brace herself for her reaction. _Right. As if this flimsy piece of cloth could help me with that._

"'Morning." Naomi whispered back after what seemed like an eternity, her expression still indecipherable.

_Perhaps I should have left and given her time to let everything sink in. But what if my disappearance had made her believe that I was the one who had second thoughts all of a sudden? Perhaps I should just lea-_

"Is there a special reason why you're lying so far away?" Naomi asked quietly, interrupting Emily's thoughts.

Emily stared at her, transfixed by the blonde's ice-blue eyes that were searching hers for an answer. "Yes. No! I….just…." she sighed, not really knowing how to proceed. "I just….wasn't sure how you'd react today…after we….you know."

Naomi leant towards her and gently brushed her lips against hers before she pulled back and locked her gaze on Emily's again.

„If I regretted last night, I'd be the world's greatest idiot ever." _Oh my God. _Emily's heart leapt at those few simple words, although she wasn't sure which emotion predominated – pure relief because her fears that Naomi might panic and make a run for it had been ungrounded, or immense joy about her unexpected admission. A wide smile spread across Emily's cheeks when Naomi lifted her blanket and silently begged her to come closer. Emily didn't need to be asked twice and shuffled into the blonde's arms without hesitation.

"That's _way_ better." Naomi murmured into her ear and pressed a kiss on the top of her head while she hugged her close to herself. Emily smiled against Naomi's neck and couldn't resist to nip gently at the exposed flesh. She felt the jolt that ran through the blonde's body and chuckled. She knew she'd found her most sensible spot and decided to tease her some more. She gently sucked at her pulse point and smiled at the soft groan her ministrations elicited.

"Emily!" Naomi laughed and drew in a sharp breath only seconds later as Emily's hand slowly travelled down from her shoulder, her fingers drawing feather-light circles on her skin, until they reached their destination. She weighed her breasts in her hands before she gently grazed her nipples which hardened instantly under her touch. They both jumped when the alarm clock on Naomi's bedside table went off and emitted a shrill, piercing sound.

"Jesus." they said in unison. Naomi groaned with frustration. She knocked it over with a pillow so it fell to the floor where it spilled its batteries and thankfully fell silent. They both chuckled.

"Time to get up for uni." Emily said with a mockingly risen brow. She shrugged apologetically and tried to detangle herself from the blonde.

"Don't even think about it." Naomi threatened with a hoarse voice. She grabbed Emily's hand and shoved it between her legs. Emily couldn't help but groan as her fingers connected with Naomi's pooling wetness. _Oh God. _She felt a wave of heat shoot straight down towards her groin.

"That's what you're doing to me." Naomi husked and looked at her so adoringly that Emily felt her insides melt. _What have I done to deserve her?_ She ran her fingertips teasingly through the blonde's folds. Their gazes were still locked onto each other, but Emily could see that Naomi had to fight hard to keep her eyes open as her breathing grew more and more laboured and her hips started moving against her hand to edge her on. But this time, Emily wanted to take it slow, to take _her_ slow, to relish every little gasp and every fluttering of her eyelids and every twitch of her body. Naomi leant towards her to kiss her and intensify their contact, but Emily gently pushed her back in her former position so that they were lying side by side again, facing each other.

"Emily!" Naomi groaned with a hint of frustration in her voice, but Emily hushed her and continued to stroke her ever so lightly while her left hand roamed her body haphazardly with a feather–light touch. Naomi's eyes flew shut when Emily's thumb grazed softly over Naomi's clit.

"Look at me." Emily whispered and continued her careful exploration. Naomi bit her lip and forced her eyes open again, and what Emily saw in them completely undid her – a longing so pure it was almost achingly palpable combined with the effort it took her to not come undone just yet. Emily's lips were burning with an almost blinding desire to kiss her, to let her tongue roam her mouth and duel with hers, but she forced herself to keep her gaze locked on Naomi's to read every flicker of emotion that was reflected in her eyes.

Naomi's expression bordered on painful by now, but nonetheless she obliged to the rules Emily had imposed on them both. Emily watched in awe as a heated flush slowly crept up Naomi's cheeks and her breathing became more and more erratic with every gentle stroke of her fingers. After what seemed like an eternity, she slipped two fingers inside her and saw Naomi's eyes widen with the much longed for contact and relished the loud gasp Naomi emitted involuntarily. _God, I could come just from this sound._

Naomi's eyes fluttered shut again when Emily pushed slowly yet deeply inside her, and she could almost feel the strength it took her to lock their gazes again. She continued with her agonizingly slow pace but increased the pressure of her thrusts with her knee. Naomi's breath came in short gasps now, and her eyes were begging her for release. Emily felt the walls around her fingers grow tighter with every thrust, and she couldn't imagine that Naomi knew what this sensation did to her. Naomi's hips twitched, and she grabbed the bed sheets to have something to hold on to as she still wasn't allowed to touch her. Emily stared at her, fascinated by the mixture of emotions visible in the other girl's eyes – lust and helplessness and…..love. Love that showed so clearly in her eyes that it couldn't be mistaken for something else.

_I love you too. So much it almost scares me. _With that thought still manifested in her head, she pushed her fingers deep inside her again and used her thumb to rub hard eights on her waiting clit. She watched in wonder as Naomi crumpled in front of her and gave a final stifled moan when her walls constricted forcefully around Emily's fingers. Emily held her close to herself when a shudder ripped through her repeatedly. She still moved slowly inside her to guide her down from her peak. Naomi clung to her as if she was drowning. Drops of perspiration had formed on her forehead and her body was covered with goose bumps although she was far from freezing. Naomi was still panting heavily while she held Emily in a firm grasp as if she was afraid to break into pieces as soon as she let go. Emily stroked her naked back and peppered her neck with butterfly kisses. Naomi grabbed her hand, held it on top of her heart and covered it with her own hand so that Emily could feel it pumping wildly in her chest.

"Jesus, Emily." Naomi whispered. Emily could see that she was searching for words, clearly struggling with herself whether she should dare say aloud what her gesture had meant to express silently. Finally, Naomi just captured Emily's lips with her own and kissed her so tenderly that Emily had no doubts about what she was trying to say. Her silent answer was already formed in her head. _I love you too. I hope you know that._

They were still kissing when Emily felt the blonde smile against her lips. "I will _so _make you pay for this, trust me." With that, she pinned Emily's arms over her head with one hand and motioned her to stay like that with a mockingly stern look before her lips travelled down her sides. _Can revenge be any sweeter?_

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**Thanks for reading, please make my day and leave a feedback!**


	17. Chapter 17

**Okay, the next chapter, here you go. Sorry it took me so long, but as I'm both a huge fan of soccer and of hanging out in the openair bath when it's so frying hot outside as it is right now, I just didn't have the time! ;-) I know I keep repeating myself, but I can't say it often enough - thank you for every comment you're giving me, it's the one thing I always look forward to after posting an update. **

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Chapter 17

She was fucking nervous and she hated every part of it. She wished she could just turn back time for a couple of hours and still be lying in bed, wrapped around Emily and be safely enclosed in their little bubble of new-found shared intimacy. But after they'd treated themselves to a day of blissful blanking out of everything that didn't involve the two of them, reality had finally caught up to them. So here she was, sipping a tepid cup of coffee in the uni canteen, thanks to her politics professor who'd called in sick on short notice so that her course had been cancelled, which had left her with an hour to kill on her hands before her next course started. Sociology. _Fuck me, how stupid is that? How can I fantasize about lying in Emily's arms again while at the same time I'm totally freaked out about the prospect of meeting her here and sitting next to her in class?_

Deep down, she knew the answer to her silent question. They hadn't talked about how they'd act around each other in public. In fact, they hadn't talked about anything that was even remotely related to their unspoken feelings for each other. She knew it was highly illogical. Of course she was in love with Emily. How could she _not _be? But saying it out loud made everything so frighteningly real – much more real even than making love to each other and letting their lips and fingertips speak for them. She knew it was her problem and hers alone while Emily was just considering her fears and trying not to push her into admitting something she would regret as soon as it had passed her lips. _Why are you so fucking nervous then? You know that she won't do anything that would embarrass you in front of others._

As soon as this thought had been formed in her head, she felt a pang of guilt. Why should she be embarrassed when the person she'd fallen in love with showed her affection for her openly? But _God_, even imagining that scenario made her cringe inwardly. _Why? Because she's a girl?_ No. She knew for sure that it wasn't as easy as that. It was all about the way she made her feel – not only ridiculously in love, but also utterly dependant on her as she was able to crush her heart with a single blink of her eyes. Emily touched her so deeply that she lay in front of her like an open book, achingly vulnerable and completely defenceless. She felt as if this crippling sensation of helplessness and dependency would even be multiplied as soon as she openly committed herself to a formal relationship and therefore made their love official.

"Let me take a wild guess – you got a stomach bug which could miraculously be cured in one day?" The lean brunette sat down opposite her, her fingers playing with a cigarette she wasn't allowed to light inside. Naomi just gave her a stern look and didn't answer immediately. "Hello to you, too." Naomi said sarcastically instead.

Effy chose to ignore her remark completely. "Or could it be that you fucked each other's brains out all day?"

"Jesus, Effy, would you shut up?" Naomi hissed and looked over her shoulder to make sure they hadn't been overheard.

"Touché." Effy smirked. "I guess it was fantastic then. So fantastic you didn't come out of bed all day, I take it." she continued in a lowered voice, clearly enjoying Naomi's discomfort.

"Shut up. Please?" Naomi looked at her almost pleadingly and groaned. "God, how do you do it?"

"Do what?"

"_This._ I mean, I don't exactly have a sign hanging from my neck which reads 'I slept with Emily Fitch!', right?"

"You don't need to." Effy chuckled. "It's practically written on your forehead. And?"

"And what?" Naomi asked, slightly exasperated now. "Do you really want to hear the dirty details or what?"

"Ew, no, the image you forced into my head of the two of you having a go at it is already more than enough, thank you very much." She smirked at her. "So….I take it you two are an item now? As in 'And they lived happily ever after….'?" Her knowing smile left no doubt that she knew the answer to that question fully well. "Or did you switch into run away-mode again?"

Naomi looked away. "It's not that easy."

"It never is." Effy just watched her and waited for her to elaborate, but Naomi didn't comply.

"What's the problem then? Emily won't bite you – well….scratch that, she obviously did, but…." Effy let the sentence trail out unfinished as Naomi blushed deeply crimson and rearranged her shirt that had exposed the mark Emily had left on her shoulder. _Great choice of clothing today, Jesus fuck._ Effy was still waiting for an answer, but Naomi just stared at her, not knowing how to put the chaos that was currently reigning in her head into words. _She wouldn't understand. No one would, because it's just fucking stupid._ She felt a wave of panic hit her as a shock of bright red hair popped into her range of view. Effy looked at her quizzically, then turned her head to follow Naomi's gaze. As soon as she saw Emily heading towards them, comprehension dawned in her eyes.

"Falling in love is not the end of the world, you know? Actually it's quite the opposite, you just have to be brave enough to take the leap." With that, she got up and turned to leave. "Hi Emily." she said in her direction and simultaneously waved her goodbye, not waiting for a reaction.

Emily sat down on the chair Effy had occupied only seconds ago. "Hey." she said softly, and only one brief look in her eyes told Naomi that Emily was feeling at least as self-conscious as she did herself. _God, I missed you. So much I couldn't sleep and clung to the memories of our night together instead. Wishing you back in my bed, touching me, laughing with me, just being with me. Can't you see what you're doing to me? Forcing me to keep up my coolish behaviour although the only thing I want to do right now is kiss you. _

"Hey." she replied quietly and reluctantly met her eyes again. _God, she's just as nervous as I am._ They looked at each other in silence, neither of them knowing what to say. Naomi tried to come up with something to reassure her and erase the uncertainty from her eyes, but the appropriate words refused to be formed by her lips.

"I went to the copy shop." Emily finally said and retrieved a packet of neatly tacked papers from her bag.

"Great. Thanks." _I can't believe we're talking about that fucking paper again. I wonder what we're supposed to talk about after we've handed it in. The weather perhaps. Jesus._

"Come on, we've got to go, we're already running late." Emily reached for her bag and pushed her chair away from the table.

"Emily…." _Say something. Anything that'll show her that you'll come around some time._

"Yes?" Emily turned around and her gazes locked again. Naomi opened her mouth to speak but no sound escaped her lips. "It's alright." Emily said quietly. "Come on." She motioned her to follow her.

_No, it's not alright. It doesn't feel alright._ Nonetheless, Naomi followed the redhead out of the canteen towards their course room without speaking. They sat down on their usual places side by side. She heard Katie hiss something in their direction but didn't bother to turn towards her. _I wonder how she endures living under the same roof with that bitch._

"What's your sister's problem now?" Naomi whispered.

"I guess she's kneaded her own story in her head about my whereabouts the two nights before last and that you're playing a major part in it."

"What have you told her?"

"We're not talking at the moment." Emily said hesitantly. Naomi could sense at once that this bothered her more than she was willing to let on.

"Why?"

Emily sighed. "We argued and….well….I freaked out and hit her. I'm usually not like that, really, but…." She just shook her head and didn't continue.

Naomi couldn't help but wonder what Katie had said to her. What would enrage her so much that she'd lose her nerve like that? At the same time, she felt ridiculously angry at Katie and had to smile at her sudden protectiveness for Emily. _Did I mention I'm in deep shit already?_ She didn't dare ask what their row had been about, partly because she didn't want to pry as Emily obviously didn't like talking about it, and partly because she was afraid of the answer. What if they'd been arguing because of her? What if Katie had gotten wind of their secret attraction for each other and given her sister a hard time about it? _Yeah, sure, and the earth revolves around you and you alone, Naomi. Get a life._

Before Naomi realized what she was about to do, she took hold of Emily's hand beneath the table, rested it on the redhead's thigh and laced their fingers. Emily looked at her, surprised, until a smile crept on her face._ I can't believe I'm holding hands with her in class like a fourteen year-old._ _Thank God we're sitting in the back row_. But fuck, it felt right again, and it seemed to be the only possible way to show her that she felt for her and that their night together had not just been a nice diversion of some sort. Emily tightened her grip on Naomi's hand and turned her head towards the professor who'd started his lecture without anyone of them noticing. Naomi couldn't resist to use her thumb to draw lazy circles on the back of Emily's hand while she pretended to listen closely to the professor's explanation of group dynamics. She smiled mischievously when Emily gave her a stern look and grabbed her finger to stop her.

"We'll all have the chance to enlarge upon this topic during our project week which starts in a fortnight. So I guess you better start thinking about packing your suitcases soon so you won't be missing your toothbrush or any other highly important utensil." Professor Byrnes said with a smile before he wrote a couple of literature sources on the blackboard.

"What? What the hell is he talking about?" Naomi whispered in Emily's direction.

"Project week?" Emily looked at her quizzically as if she wasn't sure if Naomi was having her on. "It means that in this semester, all students spend a week focusing on the main topic that's discussed in their elective subject. As our elective happens to be Sociology, that's what we'll get." Emily shrugged and focused on the professor again.

"What? Why don't I know that? And what does he mean – '_start thinking about packing your suitcases'_?"

Emily turned towards her again and looked at her as if she was fully convinced now that she was suffering from mild symptoms of Alzheimer's disease. "You do realize that we'll be heading off to a hostel in some hicksville I can't even spell properly about 120 kilometres from here to discuss and practice group processes for a week, right? Starting Monday after next?" Naomi just stared at her, flabbergasted.

Emily laughed at her thunderstruck expression. "What have you been doing all the time during our course? Daydreaming?" They both blushed as they realized that Emily's joke had obviously been straight to the point, and it wasn't too hard to guess what she'd been daydreaming about. _Or make that a 'who'. Jesus Fuck. A whole week in a fucking hostel? They have to be kidding! How old are we, twelve or something?_ Naomi groaned silently as the whole meaning of this revelation slowly sunk in. She'd have to spend five days _not _touching her, _not _kissing her, _not _doing anything that might be in the least suspicious, surrounded by the whole fucking class day and night. _Jesus Christ. I'll die. Slowly and painfully._

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**Thanks again for reading, please leave a comment!**


	18. Chapter 18

**So...finally the next chapter! Loads of thanks again for all the reviews I've got so far, I'm looking forward to those everytime I post a new chapter!**

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Chapter 18

"Katie, are you coming or what? We're already late!" Emily yelled up the stairs after she'd dragged her holdall into the hallway and chucked her rucksack on top of it. Thank God they didn't go camping but would at least have a solid roof over their heads. She _hated _camping – sleeping on the floor on a highly uncomfortable air mattress, tightly wrapped in a sleeping bag which was either too hot or too fucking cold, only to wake up in the morning with every bone in her body hurting like hell and her clothes clammy from the morning dew. She would prefer a hostel to a tent any time, even if it meant that she'd have to share a room with several others.

"Keep your hair on, I'm almost done!" her sister yelled from upstairs. At least they were on speaking terms again – not on the most friendly ones, but it was a start. She'd grudgingly apologized for hitting her, although her sister's comment had stung more than any slap to her face ever could have done.

"_I knew it. You've got the hots for her, haven't you? And now she told you to fuck off."_ She could still hear her sister's words ringing in her ears. That had been the final straw on that fucking awful day. Even thinking about it now could make her relive how hurt she'd felt that day. Hurt by Naomi who'd flung herself at that random guy for a quick fuck and blown all her hopes that she might reciprocate her feelings in any way. The images of his hands on her body had haunted her for days, like little darts piercing through her heart once and again. But every kiss of the blonde's lips had made the pain go away, every touch of her hands on her skin had soothed her wounds, every little moan that had escaped Naomi's throat had been enough to tell her all she needed to know. The way Naomi made love to her – so adoringly, so reverently, even when the built-up passion almost seemed to be too much for the blonde bear and threatened to overwhelm her. As if Naomi couldn't quite believe that she was allowed to touch her and wanted to show her that she was everything that mattered to her. She'd never forget the look in Naomi's eyes as she'd come undone under the touch of her hands and had let all shutters that usually surrounded her crumple to pieces – surprise and awe and fear and love, so much love, all mixed together in a confusing jumble of emotions.

She'd had to bite her lip then to prevent herself from telling her the three words that so desperately wanted to escape her mouth and were tugging at her heart to be set free. _I love you. _But the fear in her eyes had made her hold back again the truth that danced so obviously between them and had yet to be spoken out loud. So she'd just held her while Naomi's body had still been shaking and she'd been trying to come back to the ground again. She'd kissed the blonde so gently that every touch of her lips had screamed the words at her, deafening the silence that had only been broken by the sound of their kisses and Naomi's heavy breathing that had only slowly returned to normal again. But Naomi wasn't the only one who was scared – she was scared as well, terrified even. Terrified of losing her after she'd caught a glimpse of what being with her would be like. _She can destroy me so easily. Just a few words and I'll irreparably be breaking into pieces. Game over._

"You ready or what? Hello?" Katie waved a hand in front of her eyes as if to check if she'd fallen into a trance.

Emily started up from her inner monologue and nodded. "Sure. I've been ready hours ago."

"Yeah, whatever."

Emily shouldered her rucksack and reached for the handles of her holdall.

"Mom! We're ready to go!" Katie shouted in the direction of the open kitchen door. "Fucking hell, I don't believe we still don't have a car for ourselves." she muttered more quietly.

Emily just shrugged her shoulders and stepped outside. "No work, no car."

Katie shot her sister an unnerved glance and followed her towards the garage. "I'll take the upper bunk if it's going to be a fucking high sleeper." she stated matter-of-factly while she stuffed her belongings into the trunk of their mother's car. "What?" she asked as Emily just looked at her with an unreadable expression. "Don't tell me you're planning to share a room with that blond bitch instead!"

"Don't start again, Katie." Emily replied with a warning voice. "You can have the upper bunk, I prefer the lower one anyway." She'd hesitated only a second before she'd decided to opt for her sister as a room-mate. She wasn't sure how Naomi would react if she'd suggest to share a room, so she'd preferred to play it safe although the thought of not being able to sleep with her for a whole fucking week made her cringe inwardly. She didn't even mean that in a sexual way. She'd already got used to spending every other night at Naomi's place during the last week and fall asleep safely wrapped into her arms and wake up with their limbs still entwined. She sighed when she remembered the last night they'd spent together and the way Naomi had made love to her. So focused on her as if she wanted to make an imprint of every little piece of her skin and every stifled gasp that passed her lips and file it away in her mind so it would help her through the week that lay ahead.

Emily got into the car and fastened her seatbelt. It felt _so _right being with her, but nonetheless every time they met, they were shy around each other again until one of them plucked up the courage to close the awkward distance between them. _We're slaves to our own fears. Sounds pathetic, but it's still true. _She would like to work it out once and for all, but the price she would have to pay if Naomi freaked out and left her would be way too high. Perhaps it would be easier if she understood what Naomi was so scared of, but right now she could only guess and didn't dare ask her. _I can't risk losing her. I just can't. I wouldn't be able to stand it. _Their relationship seemed so fragile, based on the love they secretly felt for each other while both their fears were weighing heavily on the frail strings that held them together and were only secured by the questions they didn't ask and the confessions they didn't make. Every time she held the blonde close to herself she was afraid that the treacherous words would just slip past her lips unwillingly before she was able to lock them away in a safe cubicle of her mind. Yet every time she did this, her heart seemed to grow heavier and heavier with the weight of unspoken emotions it already held, and she already feared the moment when it would burst from the pressure and make them bluster out of her like lava from a volcano that had gathered enough energy until it finally erupted with a vengeance.

As they turned the final corner, she could already make out a shock of peroxide blond hair among the group of students which had gathered on the uni courtyard and were already heaving their luggage into the large belly of a coach. She only nodded absent-mindedly at her mother's farewell and got out of the car. Bloody hell, it had only been a couple of hours since she'd last seen her, but nonetheless she could feel her heartbeat accelerate and a smile creep on her cheeks. _God, I love her. So much it almost hurts. _

She wished she could just go up to her and cradle her in her arms, nuzzle her neck to inhale her mesmerizing scent and brush her lips against hers as if it was the most natural thing in the world. _Yeah, dream on, Emily. Not in a million years._ But only thinking about it made her lips tingle with anticipation. _How will I live through the five days that lie ahead? Seeing her around all day without being allowed to touch her, pretending we are nothing more than friends. God._ Right at that moment, Naomi looked up and their gazes met, and she could have sworn that Naomi's reflected the very same emotions she'd just mused about silently in her head. Naomi's piercingly blue eyes were burning into her own, making her knees go weak and her stomach drop to lower body parts she didn't want to think about right now. _Good Lord._ She felt her cheeks turn slightly crimson because she was more than sure that the blonde could easily guess what was going on inside her.

"Hey." Naomi said quietly. "How are you?" she asked and bit her lip shortly afterwards as if she already knew the answer to her question and was afraid Emily would put it into words.

_I'm a fucking mess. Missing you although you're standing right in front of me. Suffocating from the lack of your touch. Scared that you'll walk away from me in the end. Confused by the overwhelming feelings inside me. Fucking unsure of how to behave around you right now._

"I'm…I'm fine. You?"

"I'm good." Naomi answered hurriedly and averted her eyes as if she was afraid they'd give her true feelings away. _Too late for that. Way too late. I've seen it, and you can't deceive me that easily._

"Great." Emily replied, mentally throwing the ball back to her.

Naomi looked at her again. The blonde's eyes travelled from her own down to her lips and hurriedly back again, and she bit her lip again as if she knew she'd been caught.

"Just watching you two eying each other is a fucking turn on, and I'm not even into girl-on-girl thingies. _Being_ one of you must be hell, then." Effy smiled a knowing smile at them and tugged at Naomi's sleeve. "Come on, let's get inside before you jump her right here on the pavement. See you, Emily." She winked at her and dragged the blonde behind her. Emily could hear Naomi hissing something at the lean brunette, but Effy only laughed. _Great. Just fucking great._

Emily squeezed her holdall into the trunk and climbed into the bus. She caught a glimpse of Naomi in the back of the bus and opted for a seat at the front. _Better keep a safe distance. _

"Fuck, Emily, you know that I like sitting in the back row, don't you?" her sister announced angrily.

"Go ahead, I'm not keeping you."

"Bitch." Katie huffed, but sat down beside her.

….

"What did you do that for?" Naomi whispered angrily after she'd flopped down beside Effy who was still smiling smugly.

"Relax. I just saved you, so actually you should thank me instead of snarl at me as if I've killed your cat or something."

"You _saved_ me? From what exactly?"

"From making a complete fool of yourself by stammering fucking nullities at her while you practically undressed her with your eyes. From talking to her like she's some nondescript chick you barely know. From self-combustion because you can't get into her pants anytime soon. From-"

"I get it, Effy, okay? Jesus!" Naomi glanced nervously over her shoulder, but the seats behind them were still unoccupied while the pair in front had their iPods plugged into their ears.

"So?"

"So _what_?"

"Are you going to thank me or what?"

Naomi just glared at her and sank back into her seat. Effy smirked, obviously quite satisfied with herself, and closed her eyes when the bus slowly got under way. Naomi closed her eyes as well, in the hope that the constant rumbling of the bus might help her fall to asleep anytime soon. She was dead tired from spending the night staring at the ceiling. Missing her. _Fuck. How did this happen? How could I _let_ this happen?_ _I'm not like that. I'm not missing people so much I can't sleep. I'm not rolling around in bed restlessly because there's no one holding me tightly. I'm not counting the hours until I see someone again. I'm not racking my brain over someone so much that I can't seem to think about anything else. I'm not making love to someone to selflessly give so much more than I want to take, and I don't shatter completely when I'm pushed over the edge. I'm not the one who's dependant on anyone's feelings and afraid to be torn apart by my own. I'm the one who leaves._

Naomi groaned silently. _I can't stand this. I can't._

"So when are you going to tell her?" Effy said out of the blue and interrupted Naomi's inner turmoil.

_Jesus, why does she always have to talk in riddles?_ "Tell her what?"

"That you've fallen in love with her."

Naomi flinched and remained silent. _I can't._

Effy looked at her, silently demanding an answer. "You sleep with her but can't tell her what you feel for her?"

"Effy." Naomi started with more than a hint of annoyance in her voice. "I don't want to talk about this, okay?"

The brunette just shrugged her shoulders and closed her eyes again. "It won't kill you, you know. But perhaps it will if you don't."

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**Thanks for reading, I hope you liked it! Please feel free to leave a comment! ;-)**


	19. Chapter 19

**Okay, it really took me ages to write this chapter, sorry for that, but at least it's the longest I've written so far. Big hugs for all the reviewers again who take the time to leave a comment!**

** I have to admit that I still didn't watch the whole series, so I'm not really sure if I got Effy's character quite right - I just formed her a bit how I would have liked her to be, I hope you don't mind.  
**

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Chapter 19

„Thank God it's no fucking high sleeper." Naomi said after she'd opened the door to their room. "Which one do you want to have?"

"I don't give a shit." Effy replied bluntly and threw her bags on the nearest bed at the left side of the small room. "As long as you don't freak out on me and keep your fingers to yourself, everything's fine with me." she added with a smug smile.

"Funny, Effy. _Ha_ fucking _ha_."

"And no making out with Emily in _my_ bed, please. Although…actually, I don't really care, you can have it."

Naomi shot her an annoyed look. "Will you shut up now or will I have to endure this for a whole week?"

"It's going to be fun." Effy replied non-commitently and flopped down beside her bags.

"Yeah, right." Naomi snorted, threw her pillow in Effy's direction and sat down on her bed which was positioned on the opposite wall beside a small wardrobe. The brunette caught it easily and chucked it back at her.

"So…what's the plan then?"

"Jesus, Effy, how often do I have to tell you that I don't want to talk about her? So shut the fuck up now!"

"The plan for today, you retard. Who's got a one-tracked mind now?"

Naomi rested her head against the wall and exhaled deeply. "We've got half an hour until we meet for some kind of introduction in the hall downstairs. Afterwards – who knows." Naomi closed her eyes. _I wish I could just stay up here and sleep for a couple of hours. _

"I wonder what it's like." Effy suddenly said.

"Project week? I don't know. Crap, probably."

"Being in love."

Naomi just wanted to snap at her again, but the sincere curiosity in Effy's eyes held her back. _Effy has never been in love? _She couldn't really say if this information surprised her or if it fit the picture she had of her. _She likes playing with them. Leading them on until they almost lose their mind, and enjoying the short bouts of passion before she casts them away and replaces her recent toy with a newer one. But look who's talking. As if you've ever had more than a crush on anyone before. _

"It sucks." Naomi finally replied, but her smile gave her away and she knew it. "If you've never been in love, what the hell have you been talking about when you told me it's not the end of the world? Because it definitely is!"

Effy smiled at her statement and raised her brow questioningly. "The end of the world?"

"Yes!" Naomi insisted. "Nothing is like it used to be. Every time I see her, my heart stumbles and misses a beat, and my insides do a somersault. I can't stop thinking about her - no matter what I'm doing, my thoughts return back to her, it's like a curse, and it scares the shit out of me! When I'm with her – God, it's the best thing that ever happened to me, and the mere possibility that she might get tired of me seems unbearable, really. Before her, I couldn't stand anyone being around me all the time, now I can't stand her _not_ being with me for a single day." Naomi bit her lip as she realized that she'd been rambling on about the very topic she'd so desperately wanted to avoid. _Fuck._ She looked up and expected Effy to laugh at her, but the other girl just watched her with an earnestness she hadn't yet seen on her.

"What are you doing here, then? Why don't you get your ass off that bed right now and tell her the very same things you just told me?"

Naomi raised her hands in a helpless gesture. "I can't. Can't you see what she does to me?"

"Just in case you haven't listened to what you've just said, I'll repeat it for you in my own words – you're in love with her and she makes you fucking happy when you're with her. So what's your problem? And don't tell me now that you're one of those tossers who believe they don't deserve to be happy or some bullshit like that."

"No! It's nothing like that, it's just….she makes me so….so fucking dependant on her! I don't want to be enslaved to the way I feel about her! Just one flick of her fingers would be enough to destroy me, can't you see that?" Naomi looked at the brunette almost pleadingly, willing her to understand, and fought hard to keep the tears at bay which threatened to fall. She leant back against the wall again and closed her eyes.

Effy remained silent for a while as she pondered what Naomi had just told her. "You want to know what I think? You can't always be in control of everything. Sometimes, you just have to let go and see where it leads you. Don't you think it's worth the risk this time? What's worse for you to lose – Emily or a little bit of control?"

The rhetoric question hung between them unanswered._ Emily. _Just hearing Effy say her name sent a jolt through her body. Effy threw another pillow at her which landed straight on her forehead. "You're thinking too much. Just go with your feelings and stop worrying for once." _Stop worrying. Me? That's a contradiction in itself. _Naomi exhaled deeply. _I'm just not used to this. I'm not used to feel this much for another person, and I can't handle it. I can't._

"Come on. We've got to go downstairs." Effy said and got up from her bed.

"Go ahead. Just give me a minute, okay?"

Effy nodded and stole a packet of cigarettes from Naomi's bag. "I'll pay you back some time."

Naomi handed her a lighter and waved her off. _That's definitely the least of my worries._

…..

When she entered the huge dining hall, her gaze was instantly caught by a shock of bright red hair to her left, and she hurriedly looked away again. The chairs were positioned in a wide circle in the middle of the room while the unused tables were lining the walls. She automatically opted for an unoccupied seat as far away from her as possible and didn't dare look up again, afraid that she'd come undone as soon as their eyes met. _You're such a fucking coward, Naomi. Jesus._ She could feel the redhead's eyes burning on her skin and almost sighed with relief when Effy flopped down beside her and gave her an excuse to focus on her instead.

"Okay, I guess we're complete now, and hopefully we'll still be complete when we're heading home at the end of the week." Professor Burns stated good-naturedly. "I hope your rooms are fine and that you won't kill or won't get killed by your roommate. As the main topic of our project week is 'group processes', we'll prepare several related issues in different kinds of team-work and discuss them at the end of the day with the whole group. For today, I've prepared several questions and already assigned them two by two." He held a packet of papers in the air. "Every team analyzes a certain point of view concerning the same topic. The name of the two partners is printed on this list right beside the point of view you'll be analyzing. It's 10.15 now, so I suggest we meet again at two o'clock. Any questions?" The students either shook their heads or mumbled something incomprehensible. "I'll take that as a no then. Well…have fun!" he said with a smile and started to hand out the lists.

Naomi scanned it for her name and groaned quietly as her gaze fell on the name of her assigned partner. _He has to be fucking kidding! _She looked up and was greeted by two pairs of chocolate brown eyes – one of them glowering at her as if she was some kind of abominable insect, the other one looking at her warmly, with a combination of amusement and pity in her eyes. She saw Emily shrug her shoulders almost imperceptibly as if she wanted to say 'Shit happens.' _Great. Katie fucking Fitch, I don't believe it._

"Looks like I got your favourite twin this time and you're stuck with the evil one." Effy whispered in her ear and chuckled. "Shall I call the police when you're not back in time?"

"Funny, Effy. _God_."

"You better play nice with your future sister-in-law." Effy added for good measure and laughed even more when Naomi elbowed her in the side. "I won't touch her, I promise. Just in case you decide to go all jealous on me."

"Effy, you-"

"Have fun!" she interrupted her and patted her shoulder amicably. Naomi pursed her lips and remained seated while everyone else was already scrambling towards the exit with their respective partners in tow.

"The famous Naomi Campbell, what a pleasure." Katie sneered in her direction.

"The pleasure is all mine." Naomi replied without missing a beat. They stared at each other in silence for a couple of seconds, neither of them blinking an eye. The redhead's outer similarity to her twin sister was astounding only at first glance. Naomi wondered if the small differences she could so easily detect were equally visible to others or if Emily's picture rotating inside her head day and night might be the crucial factor to her observation skills. Katie's face seemed a bit wider than her sister's, and while Emily's features were soft and even, Katie's showed a hardened edge, especially around her heavily made up eyes which bore more than a hint of aggressiveness. _Not to mention her ridiculous choice of clothes. Everything's all right as long as it's skin-tight, I guess. Jesus._

"What are you staring at, bitch?" Katie shot at her. "Like what you see, lezzer?"

Naomi tried hard not to flinch. _How much does she know?_ Naomi knew that Katie would probably be the last person Emily would confide her feelings to, so did she just make a blind guess? Or a_re we that obvious? Fucking hell._ "Actually, I don't."

Katie just smirked, much to the blonde's surprise obviously satisfied with Naomi's answer. "I can give that compliment right back to you, so we're even on this point."

_She's not offering me a truce, is she?_ "I guess so."

"She's not like you. Emily." she added, as if it hadn't been more than obvious who she'd been talking about. "She's just confused, that's all, and if you think she gives a shit about you, then you're even more stupid than I believe."

_So much for offering me a truce. Jesus, Naomi, you can be so naïve sometimes._ "I won't talk to you about Emily." Naomi replied calmly, although even saying her name out loud did the most torturous things to her.

"Stay away from her." Katie continued, unfazed, her eyes blazing. "Trust me, you don't want to get on my wrong side."

Naomi snorted at the ridiculousness of their conversation. "You know what, Katie? I don't give a shit about what you believe or don't believe. In fact, I don't give a shit about you, full stop. So don't even think about telling me what to do or not to do. You got that now?" With that, she got up, crumpled their assignment into a ball and let it fall to the floor before she left the room without another word. _Fuck her._

…_.._

Emily's heart sank when she saw the blonde storm out of the building and head towards the surrounding woods. _What did Katie say to her?_ She felt a bout of anger rise inside her and was about to jump up from the lawn Effy and her had flopped down on to discuss their topic and tackle her sister about their obvious dispute. _Why does she always have to act like the greatest bitch ever? I told her to stay out of it!_

"That was even faster than I thought." Effy chuckled. "Two minutes tops. Wow."

"God, I'll kill her some time, I swear!"

"So what do you plan to do now? Tell your sister a piece of your mind so she'll even double her efforts todrive a wedge between you two? You don't really expect her to back off, do you? Just ignore her."

"It's none of her fucking business with whom I'm hanging out, why can't she accept that? I don't hassle her about her friends either."

Effy looked at her as if she was weighing her words carefully. "I guess that the 'hanging out-part' is not the main issue she has a problem with." she finally said and raised an eyebrow at the redhead.

Emily's eyes locked on the brunette's, and she blushed deeply crimson. "What did Naomi tell you?"

"Naomi didn't tell me anything." Effy laughed. "Actually, getting some details out of her is like pulling teeth, only worse. But I'm not blind."

"Is it that obvious?" Emily asked with a hint of alarm in her voice.

Effy chuckled. "Naomi asked me the very same question. But no, relax, it isn't. It's just obvious for me, I guess, I don't know why."

Emily sighed and rested her head back on the grass again. "Why does it always have to be so difficult? I just don't know what to do." _I wish I could just go after her, tell her everything's going to be alright, no matter what stupid things Katie said to her. But what if she doesn't want me to? What if she just wants to be for herself for a while? She hasn't looked at me once today, let alone said a single word to me. What if she changed her mind about us because it's all too much for her? _

"Watching you two sneak around each other almost hurts, really. I don't get it." Effy said, her gaze still resting on Emily. "You seem perfect for each other, yet none of you has the guts to speak her mind."

"God, Effy, don't you think I'd like to do that too? Do you think it's easy for me to let her go every other night and the next time we meet, we're acting as if we are just distant acquaintances or something like that? It kills me every single time."

Effy just shook her head but remained silent.

"I'm just so scared that she'll push me away as soon as I try to talk to her about it. I can't risk losing her. I can't."

"Why don't you look for her while I try to come up with an idea for our topic. You'll owe me, of course." she added with a wink.

"What if she doesn't want me to follow her?"

"Yeah, so many 'what if's'. Just go and give it a try. She won't bite your head off, right?"

"I don't know….."

"Off you go!" Effy insisted and grabbed the list from the redhead's hands. "I'll see you at two o'clock on the spot."

"Thanks." Emily muttered and slowly got up, still not really sure if she was doing the right thing, but yet she followed Naomi's trails through the knee-high grass that lead towards the adjoining wood and disappeared behind a rhododendron bush. _This is silly, I won't even find her._ She could barely make out Naomi's footsteps in the rotten leaves on the ground. She just went straight ahead, balanced over fallen branches and swatted at mosquitoes which were humming around her head – the only sounds besides the rustling of the leaves and cracking of little branches beneath her feet. She could make out a small clearing a few metres ahead and ducked beneath a low-hanging branch before she stepped on a small patch of grass that almost reached her hips, probably not bigger than thirty square metres, with a small pond on the right side. It wasn't especially idyllic, quite the contrary even, with rotten leaves swimming on top of the surface which covered it almost completely. Her gaze fell on Naomi who sat on a trunk, her back towards her, and extinguished her cigarette. She didn't turn around although she must have heard her. _I shouldn't have come. I knew it._

Just at that moment, Naomi changed her position on the trunk so that she was facing her. They looked at each other in silence while Naomi's expression remained unreadable. Emily felt her heart pump inside her chest as she grew more and more self-conscious under the blonde's scrutinizing gaze.

"Hey." Emily finally muttered, a shy greeting she'd got used to recently. "I guess it didn't go too well with my sister. Whatever she said, don't listen to her, she just can't stand it that she can't boss me around anymore and would do anything to spite me, so…." Emily shrugged her shoulders and gauged Naomi's face for a reaction. "What did she say?"

"It doesn't matter." Naomi simply replied and shook her head to underline her statement. Emily waited for her to elaborate, but Naomi remained silent. Emily took a few tentative steps towards and finally sat down on the trunk beside her, careful to leave a generous gap between them so she wouldn't touch her by accident. _I can't take this any longer. I can't bear these constant ups and downs of emotions, like a rollercoaster doing loops one second and being on the ground again in the next, unmoving, waiting for a new round to start. I just can't. I can't win her over once and again as if all we've had in between didn't happen._

"Naomi, I-"

"I missed you."

Emily stared at her, flabbergasted. _She didn't really say that. Wishful thinking is making my brain hear things that haven't been uttered aloud, that's all._

Naomi averted her eyes and bit her lip while her fingers were nervously playing with a piece of bark. "I know it's silly because it's only been one day since we've last met, but…." She shrugged her shoulders helplessly. "I just…I just can't help it." Her voice was barely more than a whisper now. She slowly shook her head and still didn't look up. Emily felt her heart well up with all the feelings she'd had to keep locked up inside and the doubts that had been troubling her crumble away like cavernousmortar. _Oh my God. _Emily reached out to her, touched the blonde's chin and gently turned it towards her to make her look at her. The look in Naomi's eyes made her breath hitch - longing and love and fear, all mixed up in a jumble of emotions she knew so well by now. _Will I ever be able to make her fears go away? Will she ever trust me enough to let them go for good? I'll do anything to make that happen. Anything._

"I miss you every minute you're not with me, every single second even." Emily whispered. "I miss talking to you, hearing you laugh, touching you, being held by you. Just being with you. I miss you so much that it hurts." Emily gently tucked a stray strand of blond hair behind Naomi's ear. Naomi remained silent, she just turned her head so that her cheek was resting in Emily's palm and closed her eyes. Emily grazed her thumb over her silky skin. She couldn't believe her luck. _I wish we could stay like this forever. Just like this, me and her, in our own little bubble of happiness. Has anyone ever died of happiness or am I going to be the first? God. I love her. I love her more than I've ever believed possible._ She leant towards the blonde and blew a soft kiss on her jaw, her left cheek, her temple, finally her lips before she leant back again. Naomi opened her eyes as soon as she felt Emily retreat, and what Emily saw in them now almost made her gasp. Her eyes had turned visibly darker, her pupils wide, and they showed a sudden decisiveness she hadn't seen in them before.

Naomi's hand sneaked behind Emily's neck, her fingers playing with the soft hair they found there. Naomi hesitated only a second before she pulled her closer, as if she'd drawn a final decision and was taking the crucial step by brushing her lips against Emily's, once, twice, three times, before she slipped her tongue inside her mouth. Emily heard herself groan when their tongues collided and played with each other in a teasing and tantalizing rhythm as if they had to make up for the time they hadn't been allowed to touch. _I love you._ Every stroke of her tongue, every little moan that escaped her lips sang that silent mantra while she was well aware of the identical echo she received from Naomi's tender kisses, from her fingers that ran down her back and tangled in her hair, from the way she looked at her when their lips parted every now and again so that they could take a much needed breath. _I love you. Don't you ever doubt that. No matter what my sister thinks about it, no matter what my parents will say. I don't care._

"Emily…." Not a question, not a request, just a statement Naomi whispered once and again in the fraction of a second before their lips met in another searing kiss. Emily loved the way her name sounded when it rolled off Naomi's tongue and eagerly kissed it from the blonde's lips as soon as the three syllables had passed them. "Emily…."

Naomi's kisses grew more and more urgent while she raked her fingers down Emily's back and puller her closer. Every stroke of the blonde's tongue sent a shiver down Emily's spine and multiplied the aching need she'd felt between her legs since she'd seen her sitting on the trunk all by herself. She couldn't remember who'd made the first move to drag them down from the trunk, if Naomi had gently pushed her down on the ground or if she'd pulled her with her. All she knew was that Naomi was suddenly lying on top of her on a small patch of grass which they'd pressed flat with their bodies while the surrounding hip-high grasses enveloped them and hid them from view. Emily gasped into Naomi's mouth when the blonde shoved a knee between her legs and slowly grinded against her. _Oh…fuck._

Emily pushed herself up against her and rolled them over. Just as she wanted to claim Naomi's lips again with her own, the blonde turned her head and sneezed.

"Fucking allergy. Jesus." she laughed and looked up at her a bit sheepishly.

"I just hope you're not allergic against me." Emily whispered with a mischievous smile while she unbuttoned Naomi's vest and pushed it down her shoulders.

"That would be a real shame." Naomi replied with a raspy voice. She claimed Emily's lips again and fumbled with the zipper of her skirt with shaking fingers. "Jesus fuck." She groaned when the zipper didn't move a single millimetre.

"Impatient, aren't we?" Emily chuckled. Her laughed turned in a moan when Naomi changed her strategy, pushed her skirt up and cupped her through her knickers.

_Fuck._ Emily gasped and felt her wetness seep through her knickers.

"Who's impatient now?" Naomi smiled and kissed her deeply. For a second, Emily wished that Naomi would just push the flimsy material aside and take her on the spot, but she pushed that thought away and wriggled out of Naomi's grasp. _I'll have her first. I need to. _Naomi groaned with frustration when Emily pulled away from her, but before she could drag her back down against herself, Emily flicked open her belt, undid the buttons of her pants and shoved them down to her knees, finally wriggled them over her ankles. Her knickers followed suit in no time. Emily kissed the blonde deeply and felt her moan into her mouth when her fingers travelled lightly through her wet folds. Naomi tried to flip them over again, but Emily would have none of it and pinned the blonde's arms down beside her body.

"No." Emily said softly but insistently. Naomi didn't put up a fight and gave in to Emily's wandering hands and her soft lips that blew open-mouthed kisses down her neck, across her collarbone and to the soft skin just above her breasts. Emily groaned quietly as she felt Naomi's nipples harden even through her bra which was annoyingly still fixed in place.

"Off." she gasped, and Naomi didn't need to be told twice. She pushed herself up on her elbows and opened the clasp while Emily already pushed the straps down her shoulders. Emily pushed her back down on the ground and flicked her tongue over the blonde's hardened peak. Naomi's gasp rang in her ears like the sweetest kind of music. _Fuck me, I'm in heaven. I must be. _Her lips travelled down to Naomi's navel and teased the sensible flesh with her teeth and tongue before she kissed a hot trail down Naomi's hip and slowly ventured to the inside of her thigh. Naomi's breathing grew more and more ragged with every kiss she blew on her skin. She could smell Naomi's wetness in her nostrils and felt her mind go blank with the almost unbearable need to taste her. She felt Naomi quiver with anticipation as she drew closer and closer to her goal. She pushed down on her hips to keep her grounded when she flicked her tongue through the blonde's folds. The second she tasted her on her lips, every coherent thought was put to rest, extinguished by the blinding need to devour her and push her to heights she hadn't yet experienced. Naomi's hips bucked violently against her when she entered her with her tongue, licking and exploring, tasting and savouring the feeling of her velvety walls before she licked her way to the blonde's clit and teased it with her tongue.

"Emily…." Naomi's moan sounded almost pained. Emily slipped two fingers inside her and immediately felt that she was already close to the edge. She pushed deep inside her and kissed her way up her glistening body which was covered with sweat, never losing her steady rhythm. Naomi groaned when Emily kissed her deeply and she could taste herself on her lips. They gasped in unison when Emily felt Naomi's walls contract wildly around her fingers and a shudder ran through the blonde's body once and again. Emily continued to move inside her, more gently now to help her come down to earth again. She hovered above Naomi who was still breathing heavily, blissfully spent, with blond strands of hair clinging to her forehead. Emily was about to remove her fingers, but Naomi grabbed her hand and held it in place. "Not yet. Please." she whispered and kissed her, slowly this time, her fingers gently grazing Emily's cheek. _Fucking hell, I love her. I love her, I love her, I love her. _

"Emily…" she said once more and kissed her again. Emily just couldn't get enough of her saying her name as if it was the most important thing on her mind. Naomi pulled away to look at her. Her eyes were still unnaturally dark and focussing on her with an intensity she hadn't seen in them before. "I love you." she whispered. "Jesus Christ, I do."

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**So...that's it for now, I hope you liked it. Feel free to give any kind of feedback! ;-)**


	20. Chapter 20

**Okay….I know it's been ages since my last update, sorry for that! As 'writer's block' is such a big word, I'll just say that I didn't know what to write, somehow I couldn't feel them, if you know what I mean. So…finally, here you go. I hope I'll be able to post another chapter before my holiday which starts on Saturday and lasts for one and a half weeks during which I won't be able to post, but I can't promise that yet. Anyway, stay tuned, I'll be back! ;-)**

** Thanks again for all the nice reviews I got, I'm happy about every single one – and they're adding to my bad conscience whenever I haven't updated in a while! ;-)**

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Chapter 20

Her own whispered words were still ringing in her ears as if she'd yelled them at the top of her lungs. _I love you. _She couldn't believe that she'd really spoken out loud the three syllables which had threatened to tear her heart apart in case she'd decide to keep them locked up inside only a second longer. _What have I done?_ She hadn't said them to anyone before. Well, to her mum, of course, but she didn't count, right? Even Steve hadn't been able to draw that admission from her, although he'd been the most likely candidate so far. _It's been nothing compared to what I'm feeling now. Even less than nothing. But Jesus, it's all out on the table now, no way back. What if I can't handle the consequences? What if _she _can't? What if she's as scared about this deep connection we're having as I am? She probably doesn't even-_

"I know." Emily whispered back after what seemed like an eternity during which she'd just stared silently into Naomi's eyes. "I love you too. More than you can imagine."

_Never more than I love you. That's simply not possible._ Naomi felt a shy smile creep up her cheeks. She exhaled loudly as the breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding was burning in her lungs. "Wow." She finally said and bit her lip. "That's….I mean…..really?" She noticed that her voice shook with the insecurity she felt right now but couldn't help it.

Emily smiled and rolled her eyes at her. "No, you dork, I'm joking. _Not._" The redhead leant down and blew a tender kiss on Naomi's lips which gave her all the reassurance she needed. Emily pushed herself up on her elbows again and gently traced Naomi's jaw line with her finger. "I noticed you straight away when you came up the stairs that first day as if you didn't give a damn about anything. You had me intrigued right away somehow. Even before you decided to ruin my shirt with your coffee." she added with a smile.

Naomi chuckled as she thought back to that rather embarrassing incident. "How could I ever mistake you for Katie? I must have been blind or something. Thank God you didn't write me off as some kind of lunatic then."

"Oh, I did." Emily grinned with a raised brow and shrugged her shoulders. "I just have a thing for loons." She yelped as Naomi pushed against her, rolled them over and pinned Emily's arms down above her head. Naomi's eyes twinkled dangerously as she looked down her with a sly grin on her face.

"I see. I guess you're lucky then, because I'm fucking _crazy_ about you." Naomi smiled and brushed her lips against Emily's while her fingers sneaked beneath her shirt to touch her most irresistible skin. ""Now tell me, why am I the only one without clothes on here while you're wearing way too many?" She bit her lip and smiled at Emily's arched eyebrow which was daring her to change that circumstance rather sooner than later and at the same time at the fact that she didn't feel the tiniest bit self-conscious about hovering above her stark naked. _In a meadow. Jesus. That's what she does to me._ She chuckled quietly and nuzzled Emily's neck while she undid the buttons of Emily's blouse one by one, excruciatingly slow. She couldn't remember ever having felt so happy like right now.

"What's so funny?" Emily whispered and gasped shortly afterwards when Naomi gently nipped at her pulse point.

"You." She kissed Emily's shoulder. "Me." Her collarbone. "Here." Her throat. "Everything." Another nip at her neck.

"Come here." Emily growled and pulled Naomi's head up towards hers and crashed their lips together in a heated kiss. "God, Naomi." Emily groaned when they pulled apart for a fraction of a second to take a gulp of much needed air. "I want you." Emily's simple admission sent a shiver through Naomi's body. She pulled the smaller girl in for another deep kiss and feverishly pushed her blouse completely down her shoulders.

"I want you too." Naomi panted. "_God, _how I want you." Her hands had developed a mind of their own and were cupping Emily's breasts through her bra, kneading them with her palms, whishing the superfluous material away that separated them from her skin. "Jesus."Naomi groaned with frustration, the feeling of Emily's nails raking down her back spurring her on even more. "Emily…." she breathed and was just about to concentrate once again on the damn zipper of Emily's skirt when she heard a muffled laughter which definitely hadn't been uttered either by the girl beneath her or herself and stopped short.

"Wha-"

Naomi laid her hand on Emily's mouth to silence her and strained to listen. "Shhh." She could make out a girlish giggle a few metres left of them and the deeper cackle of a man's voice and slowly lifted her head just so high that she was still hidden by the grasses but was able to cast a glance at their surroundings. She gaped as she saw a shock of bright red hair at the other side of the meadow whose owner was currently entangled in a heated kiss with a lankish guy she'd seen in the bus but whose name she couldn't remember.

"Fuckfuckfuck." she muttered and motioned Emily to be quiet.

"What? Who is it?" Emily whispered.

"It's your fucking sister fucking some guy from our course." Naomi hissed. "Well, not yet, but they're getting there."

"Katie?" Emily stared at her, flabbergasted.

"Jeez, do you have any other sisters or what? Of course it's Katie!" Naomi hissed back and frantically scrambled for her clothes that lay scattered beside them on the flattened grass and tried to cause as little commotion as possible while she hurriedly pulled her shirt over her head and wriggled into her jeans. She noticed that Emily hadn't moved and was still looking at her, and she wanted to hit herself for the slightly hurt look in her eyes. "I'm sorry." she whispered. "I didn't mean to snap at you like that, I just freaked out a bit when I saw her." She lifted her head again, saw that Katie and her unknown toyboy were still in the same position and way too occupied with feeling each other up to notice that they were not alone. Naomi ducked down again and brushed her lips apologetically against Emily's. "Sorry." she breathed again and groaned shortly afterwards. "Fuck, I can't believe I have to leave you like this."

"Borders on cruel." Emily whispered back and gave her another peck on the lips. "But as I neither want her to kill you or me or both of us nor listen to my sister having sex, we better go." She fastened the buttons of her blouse, ran a hand through her hair and peered through the grasses in the same direction Naomi had earlier. "Eww, Christ. Who is that guy?"

"I don't know, and frankly, I don't give a shit. Come on." They ducked down again and crawled towards the opposite side of the meadow, away from the still oblivious lovebirds. As soon as they'd reached the edge of the forest, they turned one more time to check if the coast was clear, jumped up in unison and ducked behind the nearest bushes.

"Jesus fuck." Naomi muttered and leant against a tree. "That was close." She looked at Emily and plucked a blade of grass from her hair.

"Yup. Close in so many ways – close from us both getting killed by my freaked out twin and me still being close from self-combustion." Emily chuckled ruefully.

Naomi smiled and grabbed her hand to pull the smaller girl against herself. "We'll catch up on that soon." she whispered and placed a chaste kiss on Emily's lips before she rested her head on her shoulder. "And I will _so_ make it up to you."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

They stood like that for a while, neither of them saying a word and just enjoying each other's closeness. _She understood what I wanted to tell her, right? What if she thinks that was just me blabbing away after having had the greatest sex ever? I can't let that happen._

"Emily?"

"Hmm?"

Emily slowly pulled away from her when Naomi failed to answer. "What?" she asked softly.

"What I said earlier…" Naomi started with averted eyes. "After we…you know…" She finally met Emily's gaze. "I just want you to know that that wasn't just a spur-of-the-moment thing or something like that. I…I meant it."

Emily's gaze was burning into hers, holding her in place unwaveringly. "I know." she answered in a voice that seemed even more husky than usual. "I meant it too."

Naomi bit her lip and nodded before she pulled her close to herself again. "Good."

…..

"Fucking hell, Naomi, would you mind _not_ tossing and turning in that fucking squeaking bed of yours every five seconds?"

She could feel Effy's eyes glaring at her in the darkness. "I can't sleep." Naomi sighed. "Sorry." She turned her head to take a look on her alarm clock. _Half past two. Fuck._

"Yeah, I gathered that much. I figured she got you off all right this afternoon, at least you looked the part when you returned from your little tete-à-tete in the wood."

"Jesus, Effy!"_ You have to hand it to her, she's never beating around the bush._

"What? Did she or didn't she?" Effy insisted, obviously knowing the answer full well.

"It's not that." Naomi said evasively.

Effy laughed quietly. "But?"

Naomi sighed again. She could almost hear Effy mentally drumming her fingers, waiting. "You will laugh if I tell you."

"Well, that's at least _something_ funny then. So?"

"I…..I miss her."

"I thought we'd agreed that you covered the getting-off part." Effy dead-panned and lay back on her pillow again.

"Christ, I told you it's not that!" Naomi shot back. "I just can't sleep….without her. You know?" _God, that sounds pathetic even to my own ears. When did I become so fucking ridiculous?_

Effy remained silent at first, the ticking of the clock the only sound in their little room. "Right. And what do you plan to do about that?" she finally asked.

"What the hell can I do about that? Go upstairs to her room and say 'Hey, sorry Katie, but would you mind fucking off for a while because I'd like to share a bed with your sister? Oh, and by the way, just in case you're wondering, she's gay and she's my girlfriend?' Fucking great idea!"

"So she's your girlfriend now?" Effy stated, not really a question. Naomi could almost feel her knowing smirk. _Fucking hell, why can't you just keep your stupid mouth shut for once, Naomi?_

"Yes…no….I don't know. I think so." _I hope so. _

"Don't tell me you finally had the guts to tell her what you feel about her? Or did you let her do the dirty work?"

"What? No!"

"Good for you. I'm impressed."

"I just had to." Naomi whispered. "I think something inside me might have popped if I hadn't told her."

Effy remained silent, and after a while Naomi thought she'd fallen asleep. "Always remember that when you're thinking about running away." she suddenly said, and Naomi could hear her turn around on her bed shortly afterwards.

_End of discussion._ Naomi turned around too, trying to find a comfortable position so she wouldn't wake the brunette up again. She felt wide awake now. _Will I remember that when I feel that everything's falling down on me and the walls are closing in around me? I hope so. I _have _to._ Naomi gave a start when she heard a knock on the door, and at first she couldn't say if she'd fallen asleep and was just dreaming or if she'd really heard something, Effy answered her silent question by jumping up from her bed, muttering wild curses under her breath for having been woken up and unlocked the door although she was just clad in her knickers and a skimpy shirt that didn't even cover her stomach.

"What the fuck do you think you're-." Effy paused as she realized who was looking at her from the darkness of the corridor. "You." She sighed and chuckled at the same time before she stepped aside. "I could have guessed. Come on in. But don't dare ask me if I find myself another place to sleep for tonight."

"No! I just…thanks." _Emily. Jesus Christ. She's here._ Naomi got up from her bed so fast that she felt dizziness wash over her for a few seconds. "Hey. I…." Emily shrugged her shoulders, although the motion was almost completely swallowed by the darkness. "I couldn't sleep."

"Yeah, that makes three of us now." Effy said and flopped back down on her bed. "Thanks to her who's been tossing around in her bed for hours now, fantasizing about you or whatever."

"You did?" Naomi could hear Emily smile.

"Well, I…"

"Yes, she did. All fucking night, so could we keep this short please? Because I'm fucking tired. So you either entertain me with some girl on girl action asap, or-"

"Fuck Effy, would you shut up or what?" Naomi hissed angrily. God, s_he can be annoying._

"_Or _you two get into bed right now and sleep or do anything that's not connected with making sounds and keeping me awake." Effy continued unfazed. "Deal?"

"Deal." they said in unison and broke out in giggles afterwards which earned them an exasperated groan from Effy. Naomi lay down on the narrow bed again and skidded against the wall to make room for Emily beside her. Emily slipped under the covers as well, her back to Naomi, and sighed when the blonde cradled her with her arms and held her close to herself. Naomi nuzzled Emily's neck and blew a soft kiss on her skin. "That's way better." she whispered into the redhead's ear contentedly and felt herself relax. Emily snuggled even closer against her and covered Naomi's hands with her own. Naomi finally surrendered to the tiredness that had nagged at her for hours and felt her own breathing fall in sync with Emily's. _I love you._

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**So...again, I hope you liked it, although it's a bit on the sappy side - I just felt like it! ;-) Please leave a review!**


	21. Chapter 21

**So, here's another chapter before I'm leaving for my holiday tomorrow. I won't be able to update for the next one and a half weeks, but at least I'll try to write something while I'm away, although writing with a pen and without my beloved online dictionary sucks like hell! ;-) I'm afraid this chapter is kind of sappy again, somehow I seem to get used to that. ;-) **

**Anyway, a big hug for all the reviewers for taking the time to leave a comment and brighten my day!**

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Chapter 21

She didn't know what had woken her – the first rays of light which peeked through the narrow slit of the drawn curtains or a short rattling sound from outside or perhaps the blonde beside her who'd shuffled even closer against her in her sleep. She couldn't help the smile that spread across her cheeks although she was still deadly tired. _Can waking up be any better than this? _She relished the feeling of Naomi's warm skin on hers, even her tight clasp around her body as if she'd been afraid she'd bolt in her sleep and leave her. She shifted a bit in the blonde's embrace until she was facing her, careful not to cause too much commotion so she wouldn't disturb her slumber. Emily loved watching her sleep. She looked so peaceful. Emily listened to her even breathing and resisted the urge to brush a blond lock away that had fallen in Naomi's face. _Beautiful._ _Fucking beautiful._ She'd always thought that sleeping with someone in the literal sense was a far more intimate experience than actually having sex. There's no other time when you're so utterly exposed and vulnerable than when you're asleep, defenceless at the person's mercy you're sharing your bed with, a silent listener to your occasional mumbling in your dreams. Naomi stirred a bit and grumbled quietly – the most adorable sound in Emily's ears - before she nestled closer to Emily, still fast asleep. Emily smiled and thought she'd die of the blonde's cuteness. _You totally swept me off my feet. Just like that and 'Bam!' – I was a lost cause._

She knew it wouldn't always be like this. Even if they managed to form a steady relationship – and she prayed to God that they would, although she wasn't the praying type - there'd always be times when they'd give each other the silent treatment or yell at each other at the top of their lungs either because of some stupid misunderstanding or just because of a weird mood or even some major disagreement. _But even when I won't like you for a while, I'll never forget that I love you._ Emily shook her head and smiled. _Getting a bit ahead of yourself on the road to 'And they lived happily ever after', aren't you?_ Deep down she knew that the most heartfelt vows of eternal love could easily be blown to ashes only a week later, especially when you're still in your early twenties, she'd seen it often enough at school or during her first year at uni. Yet, she'd always thought of herself as a kind of stable person who wouldn't change her mind from one minute to the next and fall for a whim she'd toss aside and laugh about only shortly afterwards. Very much unlike her twin who changed boyfriends like worn socks and actually didn't give a damn about any one of them. _I want it to last. I want _us_ to last. _She wondered briefly if Naomi would laugh at her obvious naïveté when she told her about this, but she pushed that thought away again. _Better to take it one step at a time, right?_

She felt Naomi stir again and watched with amazement as her eyelids fluttered open and blazing blue eyes were staring back at her.

"See something you like?" Naomi whispered with a smile, her voice still thick with sleep.

"No. I see something I love." Emily whispered back and grinned.

"Really?" Naomi raised a brow at her, her lips pursed with amusement.

"Yeah. I love that shirt of yours, but you're quite okay too."

Naomi laughed out loud, and Emily hurriedly pressed her hand against her lips to silence her.

"Shhhh." They both looked in Effy's direction, but the brunette didn't move and had her back turned towards them. "She'll kill us."

"At least we'll die happy then…I mean…..I will." Naomi added hurriedly, and Emily could see her blush even in the semi-darkness.

"No, _we _will, you twat." Naomi's unexpected insecurity tugged at her heart, every single time. "Because I couldn't possibly be happier than I am right now." Strangely enough, Emily felt herself blush now. _Christ, I'm just not used to saying mushy things like that – but God, it's true._

She felt Naomi's lips gently brush against her own. "Me neither." the blonde whispered. "Fucking hell, listen to us!" she laughed quietly and bit her lip. They looked at each other in silence for a while, fully aware that they both sported a goofy grin that seemed to be plastered permanently on their faces. "So…you love my shirt then? While I'm 'quite okay'?" Naomi looked at Emily with a dangerous glint in her eyes.

Emily's grin widened, and although she guessed she'd have to pay for that, she nodded to prove her point.

"Fine." She rolled them over so that she was lying on top of Emily and winced at the loud squeak of the bed. They shot another worried look at Effy's sleeping form and giggled quietly. "You can have it." Naomi said in a quiet voice and placed a chaste kiss on Emily's lips before she pushed herself up and pulled the shirt over her head with one fluid movement.

"Wha-? No!" _Fucking hell, no!_

But Naomi had already flung it to the side. She settled down against Emily again, chuckled at her sharp intake of breath and pulled the blanket over them so that only their heads were peeking out from under the covers.

"Fuck, Naomi, are you crazy or something?" _Damn, that didn't sound nearly as convincingly annoyed as intended._

"Hmm….I thought we already agreed that I am."

Emily couldn't help but chuckle at Naomi's boldness, but her chuckle turned into a suppressed moan when Naomi lifted again and pushed Emily's shirt up above her breasts and lowered herself down again. _Fuckfuckfuck. _The feeling of their skin touching directly was unbearable, reminding her with a pang of what she missed out on yesterday afternoon because her stupid sister decided to almost walk in on them. Before she could form another thought, Naomi's lips captured hers and her tongue found its way inside her mouth, torturing her further. _She can't be serious. Fuck!_ She bit Naomi's lip to suppress the whimper that threatened to erupt and dug her nails into her naked back when Naomi's thigh brushed against the wetness in her knickers.

Naomi gave a jolt and broke their kiss. "Fuck. Sorry." she panted quietly and pulled away from her. "Sorry. Jesus." She planted a soft kiss on Emily's forehead, scrambled for her shirt und put it on again. "I just wanted to make you pay a bit, but…..fuck…I got a little ahead of myself."

Emily groaned quietly and tried to calm down again. _Okay….think! My grandmother's birthday party, James throwing up on his plate. Eww. Or the time I walked in on my parents doing the unspeakable that Sunday morning when I just wanted to borrow the car keys. That should do it._ Emily exhaled slowly and looked at Naomi who had skidded away from her as far as possible on the narrow bed, her back pressed flat against the wall, probably trying to come up with similar thoughts to forget the ache between her legs. _Suits her right!_

"You fucking tease!" Emily whispered but couldn't help but smile at Naomi's obvious discomfort. "I will _so_ make you pay for that. Now come back here." she said in a quiet voice and tugged at Naomi's hand.

Naomi shuffled into Emily's arms again and rested her head against Emily's shoulder. Emily could feel Naomi's heart still pumping wildly against her chest although her breathing had returned to normal. Naomi shifted again, her hand brushing accidentally against Emily's soaked knickers, causing them both to gasp again. "Christ. Sorry."

Emily chuckled. "If you say 'sorry' once again now, I'll kill you." she whispered with a smile. They both gave s start when a pillow landed on their heads with a loud thump.

"I second that." Effy hissed in their direction and ostentatiously pulled the blanket over her head.

"Sorry." Emily and Naomi mumbled in unison and hid their heads beneath the covers to silence their giggles.

**ooooo**

Emily woke with such a start that her elbow landed smack in Naomi's face. "Aw….Jesus." the blonde cursed and held her nose while Emily threw her an apologetic glance.

"Sorry, I-"

Another loud banging on the door interrupted her. _So I haven't dreamt that after all. Shit._

"Bloody fucking Christ, what is this, a fucking zoo?" Effy jumped out of bed, her hair wild, her eyes blazing. She turned the key and opened the door with a jerk. "What the fuck do you want?"

"Where's Emily?" _Katie! Fuck. _Emily was instantly wide awake and motioned the still drowsy blonde to be quiet. _Good thing she didn't choose the bed opposite the door._

"Who do you think I am, the fucking Oracle of Delphi?" Effy shot at her angrily.

"Is that Campbell bitch with you?" Katie replied, unfazed by Effy's resentment.

"The last time I checked, she was lying in her bed, probably hoping that she was only dreaming that some kind of idiot was thumping against our door at half past five in the morning!"

Katie tried to brush past her into the room, but Effy didn't budge and blocked the entrance. "I can't remember that I invited you in." Katie glared at her. "You think that they're making out two metres next to me or what? Interesting thought, actually." Effy chuckled. "I always wondered how that girl-on-girl thingy worked. Don't you?"

"No, I fucking don't. You're disgusting, really." Katie spat, her eyes simmering with rage.

"Yeah, that's what they say. Speaking of that makes me I wonder why you noticed only now that your little baby-sis walked out on you. It's a bit late for that, don't you think? I guess you got lucky then? Still the same guy you fucked this afternoon or did you get an upgrade?"

"You know what? Go and fuck yourself, Effy!"

"I'll think about it." With that, she closed the door in Katie's face and double-locked it. "And you two fucking owe me. Big time!" she hissed, sat down on her bed and rested her head in her hands. "Bloody hell, I'm tired."

"Who does that bitch think she is?" Emily jumped out of bed. "Acting as if she was my fucking mother and me being five years old? I'll give her a piece of my mind, I swear to God!"

Naomi couldn't help but smile at Emily's outburst. "Yeah, right, and what do you want to tell her exactly? You don't really plan to tell her about us, do you?" Emily just looked at her, not sure what to say, while Naomi's question hung between them, unanswered. _Do I really want that? No. Not yet._

"You know what? I'm taking a shower and smoke a fucking fag, sleep seems to be out of the question now anyway." Effy muttered and got up again.

Naomi threw her a grateful look and chucked her packet of cigarettes at her. "Thanks."

"Ten minutes, tops. And don't forget to lock that fucking door behind me." With that, she rummaged around in her drawer, grabbed the things she needed and left.

Emily turned the key and leant against the door. "I don't know what to do. All I know is that I'm sick of hiding all the time. Sneaking at your place and making up the wildest excuses why I rarely sleep at home lately. But…." She shrugged her shoulders. "I just don't know. My parents would either get a heart attack or disinherit me straight away while Katie would probably try to scratch my eyes out. Or yours." she added with a sad smile. "Although it's silly, really. Katie already suspects that I hooked up with you anyway, but I guess that she still clings to the idea that I'm only experiencing some weird phase or something like that and will come to terms in the end. She just wouldn't understand."

"Come here." Naomi sat on the edge of the bed and reached her hand out to her. Emily sat down on the blonde's lap, facing her, and laid her hands on her shoulder while Naomi wound her hands around her hips.

"You know that I…love you, right?" Naomi asked. "And…and that I want to be with you. I do! But…I'm not ready for telling people, you know?" Emily could see the fear that had crept back into Naomi's eyes. _What are you so scared of? _But she couldn't bring herself to ask the question out loud, afraid of the answer she might receive. "I have to put my head around all this first…it's….complicated, and…." Naomi broke up and looked at her almost pleadingly.

"Tell me just one thing. Are you sure about this? Us? Because I wouldn't be able to stand it if you weren't." Emily heard her voice shake and hated herself for it.

"Emily, of course I am." Naomi took one of Emily's hands in hers and kissed it. "No one has ever made me feel like this. Ever."

Emily just nodded. "But?"

"But….this is all so new to me, it's…overwhelming somehow." She was obviously searching for the right words.

Emily considered prodding her further because she felt that the real reason for Naomi's inner turmoil had still been left untouched, but she decided against it. _I don't want to lose her. I can't. _She knew that it already had been a huge step for the blonde to acknowledge to herself and finally admit it even to her that she'd fallen in love with her, and she just hoped that she'd be able to take the next steps too, one at a time. "I won't press you to do something you don't want to do or to admit something you're not ready for. I won't." Emily kissed her lightly on the lips and drew back again. "This is new for me too, you know? And I'm not only talking about my feelings for you. I mean…I already guessed that relationships with men aren't my cup of tea, but nonetheless you're the first woman I've ever been with….actually you're the first _person_ I've ever been with, so….." She shrugged her shoulders. "Perhaps we should just try and see where it leads us?"

This time, Naomi kissed her softly. "Sounds like a great plan to me."

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**That's it for now, as always, I hope you liked it. Feel free to leave a comment! ;-)**


	22. Chapter 22

**Hey there, I'm back from my holiday and finally finished the next chapter! I have to admit that I'm running out of ideas a bit, which makes updating harder and harder. Nonetheless, I hope you like this one - although it's a bit on the sappy side again.**

**A huge hug for everyone who took the time to leave a comment again, I am happy about every single one!**

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Chapter 22

The group discussion had already lasted for two hours now, but Naomi couldn't even remember the topic they were supposed to analyze. She'd tuned out even before they'd started when Emily had sat down opposite of her in the same circle of seats they'd used the previous day. Since then, she'd been fully occupied with _not _meeting the redhead's gaze, afraid of what only looking into her eyes might do to her. Despite the fact that she'd therefore looked at everything except Emily - her fellow students, her professor, the impressionist pictures on the wall, the cupboard in the left corner of the room with its door slightly askew, the beige tiled floor - her thoughts seemed to be glued to her, running never-ending loops in her head which made it impossible to concentrate on anything else. Emily had so easily gained the absolute power over her thoughts which rendered all other concerns irrelevant in comparison.

_This is _so _not me. I'm not fantasizing over another person day and night, afraid that I'll do something tremendously stupid when I meet her gaze only once. _They'd shared their last kiss only this morning after they'd spent the night together in her bed, but _fuck, _she already missed her in every possible way - mentally as well as physically. She could spend hours only listening to her or watching her in comfortable silence, running her gaze over her perfect face, her long eyelashes, her full lips, the sensible skin of her throat, her spectacular body. She'd never get tired of it. Of _her. _The same could be said about the physical part of their relationship. She'd never thought of herself as the overly sexual type. Sure, she'd enjoyed having sex once in a while, but with Emily she seemed to reinvent that side of her from scratch, as if she had to make up for the time she hadn't known her. She just couldn't get enough of her touch and of touching her in return, the fire she felt raging inside her just seemed to be eating her up alive, raging for more even when she was lying naked and spent beside her, trying to catch her breath, wondering how on earth she'd been able to live without this for so long.

Naomi squirmed in her seat as she realized which direction her thoughts had taken again. _Jesus._ She needed a cigarette, desperately. She didn't dare look at the clock which hung on the opposite wall, afraid she'd make eye contact with Emily somehow and would lose it altogether. She wondered briefly if Emily was feeling the same way she did or if it was only her who seemed to be under some kind of spell that enveloped her like a cloud and followed her wherever she was going. _She obviously jinxed me._ Naomi couldn't help but smile at the thought and bit her lip to disguise it. _In a good way, though._ It had been hard to admit it to herself, but Emily made her experience so many feelings she'd never felt before with that intensity. Happiness. She'd never felt so happy in her life, either from looking forward to meeting her again or from being with her or just from knowing that she had the redhead in her life. Love. She'd always thought that she knew what it felt like to be in love, but God, she'd been so wrong, she hadn't even known half of it, hadn't even caught a tiny glimpse of its real meaning until she'd met her. Longing. So inexplicably strong that every fiber of her body seemed to ache for her touch, every pore of her wanted to feel her skin on her own, even at the most inappropriate times. Like now. Or when they'd lain in her bed, with Effy only three meters away. _That's what she does to me._

But who was she to complain? How could she? In retrospect she could easily see now how miserable her life had been before, how she'd convinced herself that she actually wanted to be alone and didn't give a shit about anything and anyone. That was before she'd realized how amazingly good it felt to care for someone so much that the whole universe you were living in expanded and shrank at the same time – expanded with all the love you wanted to give so desperately and shrank with the way your mind seemed to run in ever-revolving cycles around that person, as if it was an addict unable to be abstinent for even a second. '_Suddenly it's not gravity that is holding you to the planet, it's her.'_ She knew that quote from a movie she'd seen recently, and she remembered how she'd rolled her eyes and groaned inwardly at that utterly ridiculous term at that time and had wondered how the hell she'd been arsed to watch that sappy teenie-flick after all. _Look who's talking now. But you know what that means, right? You know what happens when gravity is switched off all of a sudden. You'll be floating through space, with nothing to cling to, all on your own and utterly helpless, with no chance at all to get the ground back under your feet again. And that's exactly what's going to happen as soon as she pushes you away._ Naomi closed her eyes and willed those disturbing thoughts away, but failed knew that Emily could destroy her with just a bat of her eyelids, destroy her so ultimately that she wouldn't be able to recover anytime soon. _Do you really want to take that risk? No. Yes. I don't know. I want her. God, I do. But what if she changes her mind someday?_ She got up so abruptly that her chair almost toppled over behind her and left the dining hall through the swinging doors with a mumbled apology on her lips.

_Fuck. _She exited the building and leant against the rough brick wall. She fumbled for cigarette in her bag before she remembered that Effy had taken her last packet. She had to get away, go somewhere where she could sort her thoughts and get a grip on that mess inside her head that was driving her insane.

"Are you all right?"

She would have recognized that voice from a thousand, that husky voice she loved so much and that she even heard in her dreams. She raised her hands in a helpless gesture and let them fall down to her sides again without turning towards her or looking at her.

"I don't know." _When did I become so pathetic? We shared a bed only an hour ago, for fuck's sake, and now I can't even meet her gaze. Jesus. She'll probably think I'm bipolar or something like that._

Emily stepped closer and leant against the wall beside her, their shoulders touching. "You're scared." she stated softly.

_Yes, I'm scared. I'm scared shitless of losing you, now that I know what it feels like to have you._ "Yes." she admitted with a whisper but didn't elaborate. _She'll think I'm a nut case._

"I'm scared, too, you know." Emily answered quietly.

Naomi shot her a surprised glance. "Of what? That your sister will find out? Or your parents?"

Emily smiled at that. "No." she said quietly and turned towards her. "Not really. What scares me most is that you'll push me away again and make a run for it. Promise me you won't do that to me." Her voice cracked at the last words.

Naomi met her gaze and what she saw in Emily's eyes made her want to hit herself. A fear and sadness she had caused with her weird behavior although doing that had been the last thing on her mind. She remembered with a pang of guilt the conversation they'd had only this morning, still wrapped in the warm sheets of her bed. _'__Tell me just one thing. Are you sure about this? Us? Because I wouldn't be a__ble to stand it if you weren't.' _Emily's words were still ringing in her ears, as well as her own_. __'Emily, of course I am. No one has ever made me feel like this. Ever.'_ And she'd meant it, every single syllable. She still did, despite the doubts that had found their way back into her mind like an annoying housefly she wasn't able to shake off.

"Emily." Naomi could hear the almost desperate strain in her own voice, but she didn't care. She reached out to the smaller girl and gently traced the worry line on Emily's forehead with her index finger. "I can't push you away, no matter how scared I am." she whispered urgently. "Can't you see what that would do to me? I need you. I need you way too much. And I'm not used to need anyone. I hate turning into a person who's enslaved to the feelings for someone. I can't even stand to be in the same room with you for five minutes without going insane with the need to touch you. Can't you see that you could destroy me with just a flick of your fingers?" _Fuck, I didn't want to say that. How much more do you want to you give away of yourself?_ Nonetheless, she felt a warm trickle of relief rush through her veins as she saw understanding dawn in Emily's eyes.

"That's what you're scared of? That _I_ will push _you _away?" The incredulity in Emily's voice was almost palpable. "You do realize that I'd be the greatest idiot ever if I did that, right?" Emily shook her head, still dumbfounded. "I spent sleepless nights worrying that you would never even waste a single thought on me because you're _so_ out of my league. And I would have understood if you hadn't, really. I couldn't believe my luck when we finally got together, I still can't. And what troubles me more than anything is the possibility that I'll lose you because you'll find someone better than me."

"Emily-"

"No, I mean it! But nonetheless I take that risk, because it's worth it. _You_ are worth it." Emily paused, her gaze still fixed on Naomi's. "I won't leave you. I promise."

Naomi wanted to believe her, she wanted the redhead's words to wash away all the worries that were tormenting her constantly. _Fuck, Naomi, be brave for once._ She pulled the smaller girl towards her without wasting a thought if anyone might see them and gently brushed her lips against Emily's. "I love you. Don't ever forget that. You're wrong, though."

Emily leant back, confusion and fear written on her face again, but Naomi kissed her again before she could even open her mouth to protest. "I am _so _not out of your league. You're out of mine, and I am lucky to have you. I won't let you go. Ever."

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**I hope you liked it, feedback is more than appreciated! ;-)**


	23. Chapter 23

**I know it's taking me longer and longer to update, sorry for that! I'm still running a bit low on ideas for this fic, so I guess I'll have to end it rather sooner than later. But for now there's another chapter, I hope you like it, although there could be a bit more plot in it! **

**As always special thanks to all the reviewers who still haven' grown tired of this fic, you're amazing!**

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Chapter 23

She woke from the constant drumming of the rain against the tilted window and the wind howling outside. _Fucking storm._ Naomi opened her eyes reluctantly and smiled as she felt a familiar warmth tightly pressed against herself. She could only make out the outline of Emily's sleeping form in the darkness, but she could feel her body nestled closely against her own, her naked skin burning against hers, exciting and comforting at the same time. Naomi's arms were still wrapped around the smaller girl. Her smile widened as she remembered how she'd hated it when her boyfriend had dared cross that invisible line on her double bed that divided it in _her_ part and _his_ when she'd wanted to sleep. Now, she was tossing around restlessly whenever the redhead wasn't close to her at night, and even sharing a narrow single bed that was hardly wide enough for one person was nothing they'd waste a single thought about as long as they could spend the night together. Naomi's back rested against the wall while Emily lay close to the edge. She carefully tightened her grip on the smaller girl and blew a soft kiss at the top of Emily's spine before she snuggled her head against the back of her neck and inhaled deeply, relishing the unique scent she'd got used to during the previous three weeks. _Heaven. That's what this is. Nothing can possibly be better._ _Just being allowed to hold her like this._

Naomi sighed contentedly, fully awake now. She'd never felt closer to anyone before and was still stunned by the fact that she was even able to feel as much as she was feeling now. She'd never thought it possible that she could lose herself in someone so completely. Especially her, who'd always tried to keep others at bay, almost proud of the distance she maintained even to those she'd allowed herself to care about. _Distance._ One of her defining characteristics, actually. _I know some people would rather call it arrogance. As if they know a single thing about me. _Emily had overcome her aloofness so easily, as if breaking through her shell had been nothing more than a minor challenge to her.

Emily stirred slightly in her arms but didn't wake up. Naomi could feel the redhead's regular heartbeat, almost in sync with her own, and listened to her even breathing. Even those simple observations were enough to let her heart well up again with the load of emotions it had to hold lately. She blew another soft kiss on Emily's shoulder and resisted the urge to run her hands down her bare arms to feel even more of her skin against her own, afraid she'd disturb her sleep. She sent a silent thanks to Effy who'd stated with a meaningful look that they shouldn't wait up on her because she would spend the night with some guy she'd chatted up earlier. They'd accepted that offer gratefully and had taken full advantage of that opportunity. Naomi felt a shiver run down her spine as she remembered Emily panting her name into her ear and her nails dig into her back while she shattered beneath her in every possible way. Naomi could still taste her on her lips, sweet and delicious, and the mere realization made her skin tingle and a hot jolt shoot straight southwards. _Jesus Christ, you can't be serious. I can't have slept for more than two hours._ She smiled again as her own plea for a much needed break resonated in her mind again. She'd thought she'd collapse if she allowed Emily's hands to wander her body once again and push her to another unbelievable high she might not have been able to recover from, blissfully spent as she'd already been, her body already wonderfully aching in all the right places.

Emily shifted in her sleep and shuffled even closer against her. Naomi bit her lip to suppress a quiet groan which threatened to escape. _I don't believe this._ She gently brushed Emily's hair from the back of her neck to expose the most alluring piece of skin which she couldn't resist to kiss softly. And again. _Fuck, Naomi, let her sleep._ But her lips didn't seem to be convinced so easily and grew bolder still, kissing a path to Emily's right shoulder. She added a bit of tongue into the game and licked her way back to Emily's spine. She felt Emily stir slightly and told herself to back off before she realized with a hint of sincere surprise that her hands had crept beneath the blanket as if they'd developed a mind of their own and were gently running down the redhead's sides, her fingertips drawing lazy circles on her skin. Emily grumbled quietly, teetering on the brink between sleep and waking up. _Leave it._ Naomi knew that her attempt to persuade herself was barely more than half-hearted, she was already too far gone to give in to rational thought. She took the final step and gently cupped Emily's breasts in her hands, grazed her fingers over her nipples, and got the immediate response she'd anticipated as she heard Emily groan quietly, closely followed by a throaty chuckle. "Don't tell me you finally recovered." Emily husked in a still sleepy voice. Naomi could imagine the cheeky smile Emily would be sporting right now. She smiled and bit Emily's shoulder lightly, eliciting a gasp from the smaller girl in her arms.

"Yeah." Naomi breathed in her ear and could feel Emily shiver. "Finally." Emily tried to turn around in her arms to face her, but Naomi held her firmly in place. "Although I don't know if you're already up to it."

Emily laughed and clamped her hand over her mouth to muffle the sound. "It? What's _it_ supposed to be?" Emily challenged her mischievously.

"Hmm…let me think." Naomi bit down on Emily's shoulder again, a bit harder this time. "What about passionate sex with a stunning blonde, although she would have to pass on the 'No strings attached'-part?" Naomi whispered and sneaked her knee between Emily's legs.

"Oh…sounds good enough. But how are we supposed to find that 'stunning blonde' in the middle of the night in this fucking hostel in the middle of nowhere?" Emily gave a jolt as Naomi's hand first traced the backside of her thigh before it went straight to her goal, sneaking between her legs from behind.

"I'm afraid you'll have to put up with me for now." Naomi breathed in her ear and groaned quietly as her fingers connected with Emily's wetness. She stroked her gently, languidly, and felt Emily starting to move against her, urging her on.

"Naomi…" Naomi loved the pleading tone in the redhead's voice which never failed to impossibly add several notches to her already almost painfully high scale of excitement.

"Shhh." But Naomi relented and slipped two fingers inside her, moving slightly clumsily at first because of the unfamiliar position, but at once gaining confidence when Emily took in a sharp breath and released it with an almost painful pant, rocking more urgently back against her. With her left hand, Naomi continued to massage Emily's breast before she slowly travelled downwards, trying hard to concentrate on her ministrations despite the tantalising sensations caused by Emily's movements against her lower abdomen. _Jesus._ She silently cursed herself for choosing such an awkward angle which made it impossible for her to claim her lips with her own or watch her irises expand when she would crash over the edge. So instead she attacked Emily's neck, licking, nipping, kissing, reminding herself once and again not to leave a mark they'd both regret in plain daylight. At the same time, her fingers grazed gently over Emily's clit, adding a suppressed moan to the constant pants that escaped the redhead's lips. Naomi smiled against Emily's neck and increased the speed of her thrusts while she used her left hand to draw hard circles on Emily's most sensitive spot. She would never get enough of this. Of _her. _Not in a million years. She could feel Emily's movements grow more and more uncontrolled, her breathing coming in short gasps, her heart beating wildly in her chest as if bracing itself for the upcoming climax which was only a few moments away. Naomi couldn't help the moan that escaped her own lips as Emily suddenly froze, her walls clenching around Naomi's fingers repeatedly, her body shaking against her own while her nails dug into the flesh of Naomi's thigh she'd gripped for purchase. Naomi held her tight against herself, peppering her shoulder with soft kisses. "I love you. So fucking much." Naomi whispered and slowly extracted her fingers.

Emily was still trying to control her breathing when she shifted in Naomi's arms until she was facing her. The room was still pitch black so that they could only make out each other's silhouettes. They giggled when they bumped their noses as they were both diving in for a much needed kiss.

"Sorry." Emily chuckled and sneaked her hand carefully behind Naomi's neck and pulled her head towards her until her lips finally found their goal. Naomi moaned quietly when Emily's tongue licked her lower lip and slipped inside her mouth, colliding with her own tongue in a frenzied embrace. No one had ever kissed her like Emily. No one. Ever. _Perfect. That's what she is. Everything about her. _Naomi felt her hips buck involuntarily against Emily, as if her nervous system had outvoted her brain and taken control to get the release it was waiting for.

Emily chuckled again. "Impatient much?" she whispered with a wide smile and kissed her again. Naomi moaned as Emily's fingers entered her swiftly without further ado. "I love you, too." were the last words Naomi remembered before she was too far gone to form another coherent thought.

**ooooo**

Emily grumbled with annoyance when she heard a quiet knock on the door and pulled a pillow over her head to ignore it, but Naomi had already jumped out of bed and rifled through the heap of clothes they'd shed haphazardly on the floor the previous night to find her knickers and shirt. She watched Naomi unlock the door and a smirking Effy enter the small room.

"Fuck, Naomi, you look like the cat who got all the cream. _Several_ times." she added with another smirk. "Good for you."

Emily smiled when she saw Naomi's cheeks flush deeply crimson. _God, she's cute. _"Shut up, Effy, I bet you weren't too lazy either." Emily laughed.

"Yeah, well, he wasn't that bad, but judging from the goofy grins on both of your faces I'd say that I missed out in comparison."

Naomi just rolled her eyes and hit her playfully on the arm. "Do I hear envy talking here?" Naomi asked with a mockingly risen brow.

Effy watched her as if she was seriously considering Naomi's question. "Hmm…possibly." she answered eventually and shrugged her shoulders. "Perhaps I'll give him another chance to prove himself." She rummaged around in her wardrobe and slung a towel over her shoulder. "I'm off taking a shower. I should be gone long enough for you two to have another go at it. If you're fast, that is." She ducked beneath another one of Naomi's playful hits and waved with her back turned towards them before she closed the door behind herself.

"God, she's annoying." Naomi said with a smile and flopped down on the edge of the bed.

"Come here." Emily pulled the blonde down on the bed again, only to push her back into a sitting position only seconds later to pull Naomi's shirt over her head again. "Shirts are definitely overrated." she mused and covered Naomi's nipple with her lips, enjoying the surprised whimper her actions elicited.

"Emily!" Naomi laughed and gently pushed her away again. "Don't start what you can't finish."

"Who says I won't finish?" Emily countered although she knew that Naomi was right. "I already miss you." Emily relented and rested her cheek against Naomi's stomach.

Naomi lowered her down on the bed again, crept back under the blanket and kissed her tenderly. "I miss you, too. Starting the second you leave this room. And I don't dare think about sitting across from you in one of those damn group discussions again, it's killing me."

"Only three more days and we're out of here. Thank God." She pulled Naomi against herself for another lingering kiss, clinging to the last minutes they were allowed to spend together like this. _Our little love bubble._ Emily smiled and snuggled even closer into the blonde's embrace. _She makes me feel so safe. Like nothing could possibly get in our way as long as she's with me._ She groaned when she heard the door open again. "God, Effy, that was a damn short shower, don't you think?" she complained and blew one last kiss on Naomi's lips who'd started giggling again. "Don't you still have to blow-dry your-" The sentence died on her lips as soon as she turned around.

"Katie, what the fuck?" Emily stared at her sister who still had her hand on the door handle and seemed to be frozen in place.

"Oh, Jesus." Naomi groaned beside her and pulled the blanket up to her neck.

Katie still hadn't said a single word. She was just staring at her sister and the blonde lying in the narrow single bed, their clothes scattered on the floor. _This isn't happening. This _can't _be happening. _Emily blinked once, hoping against hope that her twin might vanish like a bad dream as soon as she opened her eyes again. She braced herself for her sister verbal or even physical attack, but nothing happened. Katie just stood there, still like a statue, as if she couldn't believe what her eyes were trying to tell her.

"Katie….would you mind?" Emily motioned towards their clothes on the floor, willing her to back off and leave them alone so that they could at least dress before her onslaught began. She felt Naomi stir beside her and grabbed her hand beneath the blanket to tell her silently to stay out of this.

"Emily...we…you…" Katie lifted her hands in a helpless gesture, obviously unable to form the appropriate words. Emily cringed inwardly as she saw her sister blink twice to keep the tears at bay which obviously threatened to spill.

"You destroy everything." Her sister's voice was remarkably calm and shook slightly. Emily couldn't remember that she'd ever seen Katie like this when they'd argued in the past. Not yelling at her at the top of her lungs, or lunging for her face, not even shouting obscenities in her direction. _Just…defeated._ Emily wished she'd do just that – scream at her, call her names, whatever, but not this. This was far worse. Emily knew her sister secretly cared for her, a lot even. She'd always known. She couldn't say if it was one of those much quoted special 'twin things' between them or if it was just one side of Katie which she so desperately wanted to hide, covering it up with her 'Don't you dare bullshit me'-attitude most of the time.

"Katie…" Emily said in a quiet yet urgent voice. "I love her, can't you understand that? I don't want to destroy anything. And I won't. I promise."

Katie just stared at her as if she hadn't spoken, and slowly shook her head. Before Emily could say another word, she turned around and left, not even bothering to slam the door.

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**That's it for now, reviews are very much appreciated! ;-)**


	24. Chapter 24

**So...first of**** all thanks to all of you who haven't grown tired of this fic yet and still take the time to review, I'm really glad you do! I hope you like this one as well, although I have to admit that it's not that eventful! ;-)**

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Chapter 24

Emily groaned and rested her head in her hands. _Fuckfuckfuck._ She hadn't wanted this to happen. Not like this. She'd known that not telling her sister about her relationship with Naomi was only a temporary solution and that one day she'd have to come clean with her. But she'd felt like it was way too early for that, and her sister's behaviour towards Naomi hadn't helped to change her opinion. Her sexual orientation had always been a sore spot between them, so they'd silently agreed to steer clear of that particular topic as far as possible.

Of course Katie had nagged her about her lack of boyfriends every now and again, but she'd let it drop whenever the direction of Emily's answers had become too obvious. A couple of years ago, she'd kissed a girl at a party, actually not much more than a peck on the lips, and she could still remember the shocked look on her sister's face as she'd walked in on them. She'd finally convinced her that it had only been the MDMA she'd taken that night which had led her to kiss someone, anyone actually, and that it had been kind of a coincidence that her drug-induced choice had fallen on a girl. Katie had more than happily accepted her rather lame excuse, but the secret doubt had been sown in her sister's mind. Truth be told, she hadn't taken any MDMA that night, she hadn't even been especially drunk, she'd just liked her and been tipsy enough to pluck up the courage to kiss her.

It hadn't really been that big a deal at the time, and if she'd secretly been looking for some kind of confirmation that she was attracted to girls after all, it had helped fuck all to prove her suspicion. If anything, it had confused her even more. Eventually, she'd even caved in to some guy's advances and slept with him, just to find out what it might feel like, probably stupidly hoping that it would either be such an earth-shattering experience that all her doubts would vaporize into thin air, or that it would be so bad that she'd know for sure that this experiment would remain a one-time act. Of course it hadn't worked out like that in the end. It had actually been okay, neither mind-blowing nor tremendously awful, so that in the end, she'd been as wise as before. She almost laughed about her own stupidity now, but at that time, it had sounded like a great idea to her.

After that rather unsuccessful attempt to figure out what she wanted or _not_ wanted, she'd just allowed herself to run with the flow and see where it might lead her, observing, pondering, always trying to get to the bottom of her feelings. And then, there'd been Naomi. And she'd known. Just like that. She'd seen her and all her mind had been able to come with was 'WOW', in large, bold letters. Everything else had been rendered utterly unimportant all of a sudden. Who cared if she was gay or straight or bi or whatever, as long as she could have _her_? She wished she could tell Katie all that, just to make her understand. What was she so afraid of anyway? That having a gay sister would reflect badly on herself? That their parents would throw a fit when they found out? She really didn't know. Emily sighed when Naomi encircled her with her arms from behind and pressed a kiss on the top of her head.

"I'm sorry." Naomi said quietly and rested her head on Emily's shoulder.

"What? Why would you be sorry?" Emily asked with surprise and turned her head to look at her.

"Because if you hadn't spent the night with me, this would never have happened."

Emily turned around in Naomi's arms to face her. "Don't be silly." she replied and kissed her softly on the lips. "Of course I would have preferred to tell her about us some time, but no one asked her to come barging in here like that, it's her own fault she had to find out the hard way." Emily kissed her again. "I love you, and she'll have to accept that. If she wants to or not."

"You'll have to talk to her." Naomi let a strand of bright red hair run through her fingers. "I can come with you if you want me to."

"Thanks, but I guess that would only make things worse. Katie already hated your guts before, I don't want you to get killed." Emily replied with a sad smile. She pushed the blanket away and got up from the bed to look for her clothes on the floor, but something in Naomi's eyes made her pause. "What?" she asked softly.

Naomi hesitated, her gaze fixed on some pieces of fluff on the bed sheet before she looked up and met Emily's gaze again. "You don't regret it, do you? This? I mean…us?"

The look in Naomi's eyes made Emily's heart clench. _How can she believe even for a second that I regret this?_ Emily sat back down on the bed and cradled Naomi's cheeks with her hands. "Have you listened to a single thing I just said?" she said, her gaze never leaving those clear blue eyes she loved so much. "I love you, and nothing is going to change that. I've known that it wouldn't be easy – the hiding, the permanent fear that someone might find out. But I don't care. As long as I can be with you, everything is fine for me." She kissed the blonde again and sighed contentedly against Naomi's lips as Naomi deepened the kiss and wound her arms around her to pull her closer.

"I love you too. And I wouldn't be able to handle it if you had second thoughts about us."

"I don't. And I won't, I promise. No matter if Katie will come around in the end or not. Or what my parents will say or _whatever._ But you know what this means, right? I bet Katie won't keep this to herself. People will know about us. Are you sure you're ready for that?"

A slightly pained smile crept on Naomi's lips. "I don't have much of a choice, do I? I _do_ know that I can't _not_ be with you. So…." She shrugged her shoulders. "I'm as ready as that."

**ooooo**

Naomi pulled her T-Shirt back on but slumped down on the pillows again. _I wish I could just stay here and pretend that everything's fine and not royally fucked up. _She sighed and ran a hand over her face. A glance at the clock told her that it was still so early that most of the other students were probably still fast asleep. Emily had left a couple of minutes ago to find her sister and talk to her, and if she was totally honest, she was glad that she was not in Emily's shoes. Not that she could gauge the situation that well, after all she was a single child, but nonetheless she understood Emily's urge to make Katie understand.

Katie's reaction had surprised her, though. As soon as she'd seen Emily's twin staring at them with that shocked expression on her face while they'd lain in bed together, snuggled up against each other, she'd waited for the impact of Katie's outburst of rage and vicious accusations. But instead, she'd watched the shock in her eyes mix with something else she couldn't quite put her finger on. Sadness? Disappointment? _'You destroy everything.' _That's what she'd said. Destroy what exactly? The bond between her sister and herself? Katie's reputation, whatever that may be? Katie's secret hopes for a double wedding? Naomi smiled and shook her head. _Probably not._ She hoped they'd work it out somehow, although she doubted that Katie would give in that easily. She didn't seem the type who could offhandedly be convinced to reconsider her opinion.

Emily's question popped in her head again. Was she ready for all this? For people knowing about them, making stupid comments on their relationship or condemning it altogether because of some stupid belief or social indoctrination? Honestly, she didn't know. How could she? She'd never given much thought to that, actually. Just one month ago, she'd never have guessed that she'd ever be in a situation like this, that she'd ever fall head over heels for someone, and that someone being a woman. It just hadn't crossed her mind. Ever. She couldn't even remember being attracted to a girl before, not even a simple crush in kindergarten or high school. Girls just hadn't been on her radar somehow. All the more confusing had it been when Emily had marched into her life just like that, persistent and brave and beautiful, leaving her reeling whenever she saw her, her mind seemingly intoxicated with her. Her fierce attraction to the redhead had surprised her without end, but thankfully the inevitable 'Oh my God, it's a fucking _girl_!'-phase had been astonishingly short, whereas the mere fact that she'd got sucked into a vortex of emotions that ran so deep that she didn't know how to handle it had practically paralyzed her with fear. Probably her mother being kind of a free spirit had unnoticeably led to a certain open-mindedness on her own part. _Who knows?_ Did that mean she was gay all of a sudden? Although she hadn't given much thought to that idea yet, she actually didn't quite believe it. She'd fallen in love with Emily, no doubt about that, but nonetheless it seemed rather improbable that this circumstance had flipped a switch inside her head that caused her to change teams from 'straight' to 'gay as a window' or even to dwell on the thin 'bi'-line in between. _Bullshit._ She'd never been one of those people who needed a neatly defined box for everything, and she certainly wouldn't start now. She was in love with Emily and that was all that mattered.

She wondered briefly what her mother would say when she told her about Emily. She'd probably smile one of her knowing smiles and say something like 'Naomi, dear, that's nice! Why haven't you brought her around yet?' Yes, that would be just like her. Sometimes, having a hippie for a mum had its advantages, especially since she thankfully decided that communal living wasn't the ultimate solution after all and hooked up with Kieran. Naomi knew Emily's parents just from a few brief remarks the redhead had dropped in a half-sentence and her only half-joking belief that they'd either have a heart-attack or disinherit her as soon as she'd tell them about their relationship. _I guess I should consider myself lucky that I don't have to put up with that shit like Emily does. _It seemed kind of unfair that Emily had to battle her way through her family's prejudices while she only had to struggle with the fears she'd somehow stupidly created herself. Naomi sighed and closed her eyes. She was deadly tired, but sleep was out of the question now. She heard the door creak open again and groaned inwardly. She wasn't really in the mood to talk, not even to Effy, although she liked the way she didn't mince matters, and admittedly her advice always hit the mark straight on.

"You missed all the fun." Naomi mumbled sarcastically, her eyes still closed. The derisive snort she got as an answer made her eyes fly open immediately. Naomi gave a start as she saw Katie glowering down on her.

"Jesus! Did you ever hear of knocking?" Naomi exclaimed, her heart thundering inside her chest, and hurriedly sat up on the bed. "Emily's not here." she continued with a cold voice. "She's looking for you."

Katie discarded her remark with an immediate shake of her head. "I didn't come here for Emily." she said impatiently as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. Naomi looked at her questioningly and braced herself for the onslaught of anger that would rain down on her any second now.

But Katie just kept on staring at her as if she tried to read something from her expression. "What have you done to her?" Her tone was clearly accusatory, although it lacked the seething arrogance and self-assurance she'd confronted her with yesterday.

"What do you expect me to say now, Katie?" Naomi snorted. "That I totally brainwashed her during the previous two weeks and made her turn gay just with a bat of my eyelids? Is that it? Be careful then, Katie, the virus might be contagious and hit on you now." she continued, her voice dripping with sarcasm, but infuriatingly, Katie didn't even blink.

"I don't know how you lured her into this lezzer shit, and actually I don't give a damn. All I know is that I won't allow it. Emily is not like that, and I won't watch her be drawn any deeper into it by you. Do you get that?"

Naomi felt her own anger rise inside her. "Yeah, right. Have you ever thought about the possibility that Emily turned _my _head and that it was _me_ who had to wrap her mind around the fact that I was falling for a woman all of a sudden? So I don't need you bitching about me transforming your sister into some kind of women-loving alien, thank you very much." Naomi stuck out her chin defiantly, challenging the redhead to come up with a response to that.

Katie looked at her as if she'd grown a second head. "I don't believe you. Not a single word."

"Believe what you want to believe then. It's fine if you take your anger out on me, though, as long as you leave Emily out of it."

Katie just laughed at that condescendingly. "Yeah, listen to yourself, what a self-righteous bitch you are. I really wonder what Emily sees in you."

_If I'm honest, I don't know that either. _"I love her." Naomi conceded, softer now. "And Emily loves me. I don't know why, but she does. And that's all that matters to me right now. Can't you even try to understand that?"

"All I _do _understand is that you fucked up Emily's mind somehow to get into her pants. And please spare me that 'being in love'-bullshit. How daft do you think I am? I knew you'd be trouble right from the start, and trust me, you won't delude me as well, it's more than enough that you were able to trick Emily into believing your sham." Katie's cheeks had turned bright red by now while her eyes were flashing with anger.

Naomi bit her lip to prevent the words that were already waiting on her tongue to be said out loud from hitting their red-haired target. _Calm down, Naomi. She's only protective of her sister._ "Whatever you say, Katie. Whatever you say."

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